AIBU to think a job is a job at the moment and to take what you can get for now?

[LastGoldenDaysOfSummer]

Friend's grandson has been applying for jobs since May. He graduated with a 2:2 in June. He hasn't even been offered an interview for his field, which isn't surprising with the Covid Effect.

His mum is a single parent in a low paid job but he is refusing to give her any money from his benefits. He is always complaining about not having any money and tries to borrow from the rest of the family.

My friend knows someone who runs a nursing home and she has offered him weekend shifts in the kitchen and laundry. He says it's beneath him. His mum said it was just to help out until he got a job he wanted. Huge row and she has said that if he doesn't start contributing he will have to leave because she can't afford to keep him and his siblings.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

AIBUto think he should take the shifts for now and keep trying for another job?

Agree with PP. My DS got a 2:1 from a Russell Group in Economics. Its a good degree but there was NO way he was coming back home to tell us exactly what he felt he was entitled to in life.

He has tried to get on a grad scheme over the last year and luckily has managed to get a role with one of the biggest FTSE companies. Lots of companies closed their grad schemes when Covid hit (and didnt tell their applicants so some held out hope they still had a chance - how difficult is it to drop an email to them stating they are cancelling the grad scheme this year? He has been very lucky. But honestly its not all luck.... He had a lot of experience in hospitality. Also did a ski season so knew how to serve and work with people during his gap year.

He was invited to a 2 day assessment after passing the online tests, various video exercises etc. He had about 20 grad schemes on the go at one time. Some he fell by the wayside.

The assessment days he has been told sealed it for him. There are only so many online tests you can do. It might not even be you doing it! Assessments days are different. They can see you live/face to face and there is nowhere to hide.

I think this young man needs a quick kick up the backside. No one is queuing up to employ this person. I think it looks better if he gets 'something', attending interviews and explaining you are working in Tesco because of the unique CV19 circumstances can only make you look good.

Sitting around waiting for your entitlement wont! And 6 months will go by, then 12. I dont think we will see things really getting back to some sort of normality until spring.

Unfortunately a 2:2 isn't very good particularly if he studied full time and hasn't got any work experience. He could however, apply for an apprenticeship. He could take any job available because no job is beneath anyone and we've all done rubbish jobs to keep the wolf from the door. His mother and grandmother cannot afford to keep him and that's it. Maybe had his family had money it might be different but they don't. He needs to work

Anyone who thinks a job is beneath them is a twat. I'd tell him if he doesn't take what he can get, he'd better start packing.

@iklboo and yet loads of us on here are telling you the complete opposite. Including people from 'middle class' backgrounds

I'm not saying anyone is wrong in their observations or experiences, what I said was based on what I saw after University.

Such good advice @AllieCat26 Good for your boyfriend that his perseverance paid off.

Hope this young one also manages to turn it around.

We’re interviewing at work for 5 new starts. Entry level admin roles, £17.5K pa. After 6 months they move to more advanced roles and more money. Nearly 8 of the people who passed phone interviews did not turn up of their Zoom interview. No apologies, no notification, nothing, just didn’t bother. They were all under 21 and had lost their jobs in the last 6 months.

And what a pile of piss this is. My family is middle class as anything; I still knew once I was a GROWN UP it was on me to pay my way and find work. Yes some people's parents parachute them into jobs but this is neither within the ability or the inclination of many middle class parents. He needs to earn his keep; that is regardless of whether his mum 'needs' the money or not, it's about dignity and respect.

I guess there's middle class and there's middle class, I'm just saying what I think on the basis of what I saw at University; none of the properly middle class kids I know signed on or work menial jobs, I'm struggling to think of any who actually worked a paid job through their studies.

Also your post basically sounds like you're blaming his mum for being poor and not being able to cushion her little darling's path in life. Nice snobbery there.

Actually the opposite. The point I was aiming at was that if he was of a certain class he wouldn't be facing this derision: there's extra pressure on him from the people around him, and society more generally, to settle.

And if he settles, chances are he isn't going to be the one who lands a degree level role for a long time, let alone the kind of thing he would have wanted when he embarked on his course. Look at the stats on who pays back their student loans and who doesn't because they don't make the payback threshold, it's sobering.

@maddiemookins16mum

We’re interviewing at work for 5 new starts. Entry level admin roles, £17.5K pa. After 6 months they move to more advanced roles and more money. Nearly 8 of the people who passed phone interviews did not turn up of their Zoom interview. No apologies, no notification, nothing, just didn’t bother. They were all under 21 and had lost their jobs in the last 6 months.

I keep seeing posts like this and I find it so frustrating. My son is trying to get his first job and keeps getting turned down . Many stating due to the high level of applicants . He’d be over the moon to get an interview.

@VeniceQueen2004

What do you call 'solidly middle class'? As you say MC is a wide category in the UK. I am what I consider to be MC by background (grew up in desirable village in South East, graduate professional parents, grammar school, Oxbridge tradition) - is that 'solid'? Or are you only talking about privately educated children of 'doctor/lawyer/banker' type parents?

Probably more the latter - the I've done well in life and my child will be a success too type. Private education for the kids or state schools which did well on the league tables. Parents who employed tutors and were very serious about extracurricular activities.

Knew how to get their kids ahead - like getting them to take very impressive gap year(s), employed in very well connected roles, before university to give them a second shot at Oxbridge or Medicine or whatever if they didn't get in the first time round.

@Cbatothinkofausername

I suspect this is less about ‘giving and receiving advice’ and more about you wanting to give this lazy young man a bit of a bashing

The whole thread seems to be about giving him a bashing.

The responses make me think of the Two Minutes Hate in 1984.

I'd be encouraging him to speak to the careers service at his uni, assuming that they're happy to speak to alumni as mine was. I graduated during the last recession and I too had an inappropriate sense of entitlement. I remember going to see them and speaking negatively about a job that paid £12,000. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I could find a job paying that I should take it. As it happens I did manage to do better than that for my first job but by no means did I hit the heights that were teased by the university when I walked through the door four years earlier.

It may just be the motivation he needs, since a careers adviser is not going to have any personal interest in his case and so represents an unbiased viewpoint.

He sounds he's like an entitled brat. "Poor kid", my arse - he's a grown man.

Everyone and their dog has a degree these days and frankly a 2.2 is shite.

I literally can't think of one connection from university who was solidly middle class and went on to work in a minimum wage job, even as a stopgap if they didn't get a graduate job straight away.

I can confirm that I am from a solidly middle class background and did just that. I have done many minimum wage jobs.

@Graphista Yep, my friend also hates that expression; one of the reasons they get on so well with the ordinary staff at all the homes she works at is because they're ready to muck in; we both know of only too many agency nurses who trot along and sit in the office all night except when it's time to do the meds round. I personally don't think making nursing an all degree profession was the right decision for many reasons, but that's what we're stuck with.

And when I made the comment in my post about having had to do jobs I'd rather not have, it was only because I was rubbish at them (well okay, not the data entry), not because I thought they were beneath me. Having done things like waitressing also gave me a much better insight into what a hard job it is, and we always make sure we tip as well as we can if we go out to eat. (Remember those days?!)

It does always make me laugh when people who've never had to do tough physical jobs go on about how easy they are. One of the things I do is a little editing, and some of the entitled attitudes of some of the other editors about how much they should be earning [over 3 times per hour, what a UK registered nurse earns] have my eyes watering.

(I also personally think our politicians, for instance, would make more sensible decisions if they all had to actually do some real work of that kind every now and then. Though God help the poor diners or patients...)

I would also say, however, in the defence of graduates, that universities and teachers who've never done anything but teach are still peddling the myth that all you need to "get on" in life, career wise, is a clutch of GCSE A*s (or whatever the current terminology is), 'A' Levels, and a degree.

One of the longer-term positive effects of COVID-19 is likely to be a realignment of expectations for many, I suspect.

I'd be shocked if he got a graduate level job with a 2:2, especially considering the grade inflation because of Covid this year. If I were deciding between two candidates (who were equal on all other grounds), I'd take one who didn't have a degree over the one who got a 2:2 (provided they got the 2:2 in recent years).

@Sophiafour I agree re nursing as a degree profession - and I was one of the first nursing graduates! But there wasn't really a choice once it was made clear that's the way the vocation was going!

In my opinion the people doing what I consider "real nursing" now are mostly hca's

Also it wasn't done - as claimed - to benefit nurses but in response to the jr dr workload crisis so that nurses could be loaded with that work instead

Every job has aspects that are less interesting/appealing no job is going to be all pros.

For my part (having also done "menial" jobs) anything that's boring tends to be my most hated part -

Cashing up
Counting receipts
Watching something happening or rather not happening mainly quality control in factory work where for the most part x happens with very rare issues so you're just sat watching eg x amount of boxes being folded or whatever

I quite like data entry as I enjoy figure work and something with a defined, precise outcome.

Wouldn't cope with it now (ocd - much much worse now) but back in the day I didn't even mind sluice or bed baths as you were actually DOING something with a clear satisfying result/achievement.

I've worked with lazy people in pretty much every job I've done and I don't see the point because aren't they just bored out their nut?!

The hardest time though was a job I heard about through a friend and then ended up working with said friend and she was the laziest, most slovenly, disrespectful person I've ever had the misfortune to work with! Ruined the friendship of course and made the job far harder than it needed to be - even WITH me calling her out on it, the boss in that job to be fair was pathetic! He hated telling people off or making them do anything they remotely disliked!

Physical and mental jobs are equally hard and tiring if done well, I've done both. To be honest looking back I preferred the manual ones simply as they tended to be the ones you could leave at the door! I'm an overthinker and more mental jobs especially if there was a huge responsibility to others were more stressful, but I also remember the relief of sinking into a hot bath after a day of lugging boxes around or operating heavy machinery (though it was amusing at the time of having those jobs both telling people and colleagues being surprised I could do them as I'm only 5'2" and at the time was between a size 4-6 and not remotely muscular!)

I've said on here many times I think before becoming an Mp a candidate should have a proven track record of working in "the real world" NOT in politics - inc campaign offices, councils etc, NOT in high end banking etc but real down to earth JOBS not careers! I've also said I think they should try to manage on min benefits for 6 months!

Agree with you on lifelong academics being similarly narrow minded, the lecturers I had that were most useful and better at guiding students were those who'd done other jobs outside academia too.

I'm a grown up professional, with tons of experience in my field, and I've worked most of my life in the voluntary sector, in an area traditionally ill-served by grant funding. When there's been a gap between grants to the various organisations I've worked for, I've rolled up my sleeves and got a job in a shop, or a call centre, to keep body and soul (and the organisation) together until the next tranche of funding kicks in.

He needs to get over himself.

When I completed my degree/ Masters I took any job I could find.
My mother was a single parent and couldn’t afford for me to sit on my arse .
I had several jobs including, cleaning, retail , factory work, football stadium, post office worker and chambermaid .
I was grateful to even have a job.
My god daughter has just gained a Masters and has a job working in a warehouse and a cleaning job. Btw her parents are highly paid professionals and she doesn’t have to work, but her parents have instilled a work ethic which will hold her in good stead.
Your friend’s grandson is in for a rude awakening

I do graduate recruitment and find some of the attitudes of today’s graduates insane. They have such bizarrely high expectations. I have friends who are at the top of their game now in their late 30s but we all got any job straight after graduating just to get money and then started in the lowest levels of chosen careers. And as others have said a 2.2 is not great.

So many students where I live don’t work. But this is something else again. In normal times I would never employ anyone who hadn’t got off their backside and found a job whilst at uni and definitely not post uni. I think that working in hospitality or a care home is, in very many ways, more difficult than a desk job in a professional field. And for that reason, I would rate someone with that experience highly. That’s apart from not wanting to employ someone who was entitled and “above” certain jobs. Shows bad character in my book.

He got a 2.2... Hardly an impressive grade to be saying anything is beneath him. I'd point that out and tell him to get a job. Maybe once he has a mortgage and children he will grow up abit and realise any job that pays the bills is what matters.

I have resigned after a 23 year teaching career. I claim a teachers pension, but still have a mortgage - so still need to work. I will soon start my 3 day training as a community support worker - zero contract and minimum wage - I have a 2:1 first degree and a 1st class Masters degree. Nothing is beneath me, but happiness in your job is everything.

@mypetEufy Solidly middle class here (I guess). Parents both professionals and went to higher education and I grew up nice leafy suburb with foreign holidays etc. I did a paper round from 12 then retail through school, babysitting bar work and retail every uni holiday then more bar work before I started training as a professional. Most of my friends did similar. I think this is more to do with upbringing/being a brat than class. I’ve been a fairly high earning professional for 20 years but I’d have no issue working in retail/hospitality etc for minimum wage now if I needed the cash.

From a hiring POV, I would hire someone with a work history over someone with a degree and blank spaces For previous jobs. Work ethic is always going to win. The lazy bugger needs to get his finger out, get ANY job, and start paying his own way. The comment saying the kitchen work was beneath him is awful! People seem to forget that those who do the dirty jobs so we don’t have to are fantastically hard workers, doing an important job for little pay.

Poor kid? How about a lazy kid who has pissed away his opportunities. Went to Uni and only got 2:2 so.wasted his mother's time and money that could have been used on the sibikings and is now being a money sucking leech refusing to work.

Bit harsh - when he had to also work bars at night to pay his keep and more.

Lower working class (i.e. the precariat) uni isn't the same as solid middle class uni. It's really not - and I say that as one who didnt do it hard, but knew those who did. They don't have family to fall back on if it all goes wrong and that must be terrifying. This kid likely knows from what he's seen before that the job he takes now will pigeonhole him where he is and keep him there.

It doesn't sound like his family are proud of him. It sounds like the outrage of crabs in a bucket - "who do you think you are, this not good enough for you, mate?".