AIBU to think a job is a job at the moment and to take what you can get for now?

[LastGoldenDaysOfSummer]

Friend's grandson has been applying for jobs since May. He graduated with a 2:2 in June. He hasn't even been offered an interview for his field, which isn't surprising with the Covid Effect.

His mum is a single parent in a low paid job but he is refusing to give her any money from his benefits. He is always complaining about not having any money and tries to borrow from the rest of the family.

My friend knows someone who runs a nursing home and she has offered him weekend shifts in the kitchen and laundry. He says it's beneath him. His mum said it was just to help out until he got a job he wanted. Huge row and she has said that if he doesn't start contributing he will have to leave because she can't afford to keep him and his siblings.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

AIBUto think he should take the shifts for now and keep trying for another job?

• mypetEufy Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.*

I think you have entirely the wrong idea of what middle class is love.

@mypetEufy

Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.

No one in his family would be clamouring for a share of his £58.90 per week to pay the rent and support his younger siblings, there would be no question of his taking up a job in the laundry or kitchen of a care home, and his grandmother wouldn't be 'panicking' because she's afraid her own grandson, who has spent the last 5 months applying for jobs, might turn up in her doorstep.

Poor kid.

Are you serious You must know a lot better off, better connected middle class people than I do Round here they struggle to get jobs just like everybody else.

Maybe get another chip to balance that one?

DS worked in Tesco’s for 6 months while applying for jobs he wanted. That was before Covid, so especially now yes he needs to take what he can get.

You seem way too invested in your friendship grandson’ Let him and his family sort their problems, None of this is your problem.

ah diddums he doesnt want to work beneath him-where does he get this entitlement from doesnt so9und like his mum brought him up like that

Of course he should take it.

ANY job provides valuable experience and work skills to put on his CV. It also has the potential to provide a valuable employers reference

" Tim has spent two years working here full time as a carer for people with dementia.. In this demanding role he has impressed us as an adaptable and resourceful team player. Tim has demonstrated unusual maturity, patience, and resilience.

Trust me, work experience and transferable skills stand any future career in far better stead than " "Since graduation I've been unemployed for two years and living with Mum".

@mypetEufy

Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.

No one in his family would be clamouring for a share of his £58.90 per week to pay the rent and support his younger siblings, there would be no question of his taking up a job in the laundry or kitchen of a care home, and his grandmother wouldn't be 'panicking' because she's afraid her own grandson, who has spent the last 5 months applying for jobs, might turn up in her doorstep.

Poor kid.

I graduated in 1992, it was during a recession and very hard to get onto a graduate scheme, absolutely no chance with a 2:2. I eventually got onto a graduate scheme in the November, there were eight of us and the others were all middle class, some of them upper middle class. They had all struggled to find work just as much as I had and did not have parents’ contacts they could use, they also all had taken menial stop gap jobs.

In my working life of just under thirty years, I have never worked with anyone who got the job because of who their parents know. You maybe have something on your shoulder.

He’s going to struggle generally with a 2:2 like other posters have said. He generally wouldn’t get into a graduate scheme or indeed a Masters.He needs to realise that even without Covid he needs to get other skills To compensate for his 2:2. Showing he is willing to work hard and as part of a team in whatever environment will only be positive on his CV.

IME the difference between a 2:2 and a 2:1 is hard work. There’s going to be lots of unemployed graduates with 2:1s and 1sts. He really needs to pull his socks up.

He needs to take the job or pull his finger out and find something, no matter how beneath him he thinks it is. It's the wrong of time of year really to be applying for specific graduate recruitment, that would have been done nearly a year ago for jobs starting now, my company is only weeks away from starting the process for Sept/ Oct 2021 intake. Anything is going to look better on his CV for "proper jobs" than a gaping hole and claiming benefits.

@iklboo I think you have entirely the wrong idea of what middle class is love.

No one is upper class in the UK unless their family is/was titled, right? The term middle class covers a lot of ground.

@Hargao

I graduated 20 years ago - a 2.2 degree was not an ok degree then.

Agree. I graduated 28 years ago and a 2.2 closed the doors to all graduate training schemes.

I think that while he should really take the weekend job,it must be galling to work hard and get to Uni .Work hard again in there ,and come out to a job on minimum wage!

He should be doing volunteering as well.

I'm very middle class and I've done all sorts of shitty jobs over the years, in between the ones I actually wanted to do. I've got a master's as well. He needs to suck it up and start earning some money. The important thing is to keep working, as pp have said, it's far easier to get a job when you've already got one.

Best avoid other people’s family disputes. Your role is as a supportive sounding board , no more. You are getting one side of the story anyway. For what it’s worth, if it were my child I’d be trying to get him to do internships in his field rather than nursing home work. But that’s neither here nor there. Not your grandson, not your business.

Fgs. The entitlement.

I also graduated in the 90s recession. Times were hard. I ended up working in a shop and relocating as there was no work. I then went temping before getting what was described as a graduate job, which promised loads and offered little. I missed 2:1 by a hair trigger and received 2 lots of 59% - difficult/ mitigating circumstances - so I knew a graduate scheme would be hard. That was at a time when a 2:1 was harder to get. I finally got a decent job over 2 years after graduating.

@LastGoldenDaysOfSummer

Thanks.

His degree is in Economics with something like Business Studies. He worked intermittently while at university. Bar work, mainly. he won't even look for something in a pub. I'm seething on his Mum's behalf. She's struggled to being up her DCs with precious little support from their father. He expected her to send him cash regularly but she had to stop when her hours were cut.

Good idea for Gran to tell him the rent up front.

Clearly his non existent understanding of how Economic theory translates into real world reality explains why he got a 2:2.

No one is upper class in the UK unless their family is/was titled, right? The term middle class covers a lot of ground*

And very little of it = golden connections, walking into a job, mummy & daddy finding you a top apprenticeship or buying / renting you a flat.

He's not being sold to a workhouse. He's been asked to get a job to help support himself. The benefits his mother got while he was in education stopped. Where is she supposed to make up that shortfall while he's still consuming everything he did before?

YANBU

Anyone with a job, any job, will go ahead of him. Work-shy people are unemployable.

I got a 2.1 in a STEM subject 28 years ago but struggled to get a job after I graduated because it was a recession. I had two parents but they were low income, they didn’t expect me to give them any of my benefits whilst I was claiming but they never supported me during university either. It was very very hard getting through the university years.

Whilst I was looking for my graduate job, I applied for just about everything under the sun as a stop gap job, I remember interviewing at a butchers and as a knitting machine operator in particular. After a few weeks I got taken on by a call centre and I worked there for about four months before finally landing my graduate job.

My first thought from reading the OP was that it was maybe not nice to take benefits off somebody. However when I read he is turning down work and refusing to consider anything less than a graduate job I changed my mind. He is being a brat, he will probably not ever get a graduate job and he should not expect his mother or grandmother to keep him.

If someone is offering him a job, he should take it. He will utilise his contacts

Whilst working, he can support himself & look for his ideal job

Why should tax payers & his DM support a healthy, young person ?

I shouldn't say it - snowflake

I've worked all kinds of jobs to support myself

He's deluded. DP and I both have good degrees from a top university...after leaving DP went straight to factory work while he applied for jobs, I went to retail. DP was actually told when he got a job he wanted using his degree, that his factory work job had counted strongly in his favour. The recruiter was sick of people who were just at home till something they liked came along!

He has earned his education and it’s time to support himself. If the only money he has are benefits, then all* of that should be going to living expenses. If he won’t contribute to the household, he needs to leave.

*i am not saying someone on benefits does not deserve leisure, entertainment, or treats, but those are things he needs to budget for not his primary expenditures.

Well, my contract ends 31st of December and isn't going to be renewed, and my organisation wants to keep me, so my next option is a band lower (with a year's pay protection) but not a temp contract. I'm going to go for it with everything I have, because in the current climate, no-one can afford to be picky. It does look interesting, which is a bonus.

So he graduated with a 2:2 in economics, no masters and expects to walk into a good graduate job whilst there are many recruitment freezes and people being made redundant everywhere? He would struggle in normal times, my company won’t even look at someone with a 2:2 and no masters degree. He is lucky to have been offered the nursing home work he should definitely take it.