To think this is not free time

[chocolatte2020]

I had the day off work today due to annual leave and our dc were with the childminder as they are every Wednesday. I pay for Wednesdays whether I work or if I'm off, so if I'm off work I still send them down and use the time to do something constructive.
I used today to make a start on some Christmas shopping for our dc and family. I always shop for my in-laws as I have the time and work less so I feel it's only fair.
My husband keeps making comments about how much free time I get and how I had all day to myself. I pointed out that I didn't have the day to myself I was doing stuff and he scoffed and said so "you weren't browsing for yourself either I suppose". I was gone 5 hours with two or those hours travel time.
Aibu or should I have been chained to the sink doing the dishes all day. I even left him lunch as he was working from home.

Definition of free time:
Leisure has often been defined as a quality of experience or as free time. Free time is time spent away from business, work, job hunting, domestic chores, and education, as well as necessary activities such as eating and sleeping.

However I get the impression that many men think free time is doing whatever they want that involves thinking about themselves only. When they apply that to their wives/partners etc it becomes - when you're not earning money. I know my DH thinks me doing the garden is 'free time' because 'you like doing it'. Yes I do and it is a hobby however the fact is that it is a household chore that has to be done and if I didn't do it then he would have to or we would pay a gardener. Therefore it is not free time.

@PyongyangKipperbang

So if the OP didnt "choose to use [her] free time" to shop for Xmas, what would happen? Santa is a lovely idea, but lets face it, without some poor sucker doing the shopping and the planning and the cooking, it wouldnt happen.

I would just not bother getting him or his family anything and when he inevitably gets the fucking hump, tell him that you used your free time for yourself.

It was fucking SEPTEMBER! You're talking as of it was December 23rd and her husband had forced her out to do his bidding!

We don't even know if he expects her to get his family's presents. There absolutely no reason for OP to have to use her day off to do it. It was her choice.

She had a day off. No work, no kids, no husband. The definition of free time. She choose to shop for a Christmas. It was not a bed or an imperative.
Having a choice of what to do is also one of the definitions of free time.

Bed= need

It was free time. You could have done anything you wanted, but you chose to go Christmas shopping, which could have waited a couple of months.
Did you feel like you had to do something productive rather than take some time for yourself to do something fun or relaxing?
Your husband sounds resentful and his attitude is unreasonable.

I think it's free time.

You didn't need to go Christmas shopping in September, you chose to do so.

That said, I don't see any reason whatsoever why your annual leave should not be your own free time, and I don't think it's OK for your husband to comment on it in a scoffing way.

Personally I'd have made different choices - meeting up with a friend or chilling out binge watching TV or doing something creative would probably figured much higher on my list on what to spend my free day doing than shopping (which I do online anyway).

"You could have done anything you wanted, but you chose to go Christmas shopping, which could have waited a couple of months."

So if Op had done it nearer Christmas, would it have not have been free time??

He sounds like abit if a cock

@MobLife

Would your husband ever use a day of leave to do any xmas shopping? Would he go out shopping of his own volition to buy your children new clothes they needed?

It sounds less like free time and more like mental load time

This absolutely.

OP do you organise Christmas every year? Tell him he can do it this year. All of it, the thinking , planning, the doing.

Are you having a laugh? What do you call free time?!

Well as pps have said-simple solution-if husband thinks that shopping is free time then he can do it!

I would call it free time as it's a choice. I wouldn't have spent a nice day in September Christmas shopping for my ILs (I don't shop for my ILs, period). If I did, it would be because I wanted to and I'd consider that free time. Dh works about 60 hours a week running a business (note: I work fulltime as well). He still has plenty of time to do all the shopping for his family.

Going shopping without anybody else in tow sounds like free time to me.

I think YANBU TBH! He is out of the house what about 10 hours on his hobbies ,and begrudges you a day off each week of around half of that!Tell him to Jog On and carry on as you were .It is free time for you but if you are shopping for his family ,maybe leave him a list somewhere so he can do his own present buying in future !

Yeah! It's free time. A special variety - Woman/wife time.

Make a spreadsheet: free time and who benefits

You'll find that yours is spent doing things that benefit family, him, the kids, his parents. That you enjoy it is a bonus. Or maybe you just grew to enjoy it as it is all you get to do when not working in or out of the house.

His free time = hobbies! He gets the benefit. You don't. Your kids don't. His parents don't He hets time to do nothing for anyone, for his own enjoyment. Opting out of hours of family life while he does so. Double benefit!

Make that list and shove it up his nose!

@HappyDays10101

Why not say cycling? It really won’t out you.

- I thought this too - DH has this hobby and I knew when I saw weekend morning until 12 it had to be this.

It's always cycling!

@Sugarbeanie

It's always cycling!

Shopping trip is leisure, you could have done it online, another time. It’s free time

Ah! Cycling.

Then to that spreadsheet you can add

Cost of bike, clothing, other 'essential items' like the Garmin watch etc to his benefits... and add the other benefit of you cleaning the clothes he wears, stirage space for the bike (as it's always somewhere slightly inconvenient for the rest of the family.

And don't forget the intrcatability - he ALWAYS does it and you and the kids ALWAYS have to wait until he is done. He will NEVER willingly miss a session for you!

A good bit of that sounds like free time. However you're allowed to have free time, so screw him!

Gosh I'd kill for a day off to go Christmas shopping ahead of the rush. Total luxury sorry.

H sound unpleasant in how he put it to you though.

I'm surprised to see most commenters consider running essential errands free time. I know the OP didn't have to do Christmas shopping on that particular day, but it IS is a necessity and something that needs to be done. For me, shopping (especially for my in laws) is NOT free time, it's a chore and I'd be really pissed off if my husband suggested otherwise.

@Keratinsmooth

Shopping trip is leisure, you could have done it online, another time. It’s free time

No, it really isn't.

Shopping for esentials, for other people, is work, a chore. And ANOTHER TIME is just more time identified to do more work.

Free time is doing something that is just for fun, has no benefit... like cycling, reading, painting, having a long bath...

Why is doing chrstmas shopping for a husbands parents considered a "necessity" diamondpony80?

That seems a burden of choice.

@diamondpony80 but there was no need for her to use the time to Christmas shop. It's still a significant distance away, it can be done online (and by their own son) - it's a choice. Different if she had to go to the supermarket or go shoe shopping with a child, or if it was her Mail's birthday tomorrow and her DH had begged her to go. But none of that was the case.