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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry my husband booked my flu shot?

399 replies

Bankingswitch · 30/09/2020 17:01

Been at my desk since 7am. I go to the toilet for 10 minutes this afternoon to find Dh has booked my flu shot for a time I didn't want 

Phone rang, he picked up and it was surgery on behalf of NHS to book this year's flu shot for me.

He had the choice of 2 appointments 9am and 10.30am. He picked the second one. I always make medical appointments for first thing if I have a choice - he knows this!

If there was no choice in appointment I could accept that but there was!

Also annoyed because I am a high-risk patient (hence the flu shot) and now another 20 people will have been through the room I have to use before I even get there!!

He says it will be fine. He's so laidback all the time. He thought we could go for a walk afterwards if we went later... I am more interested in not catching COVID right now.

I am happy to hide out from COVID and flu but don't like having to go into situations like this.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
CCC1 · 01/10/2020 22:02

Hi. I’ve done the sinful thing of not reading the full thread so apologies if this has been covered.

I do however know a little bit about this and wanted to reassure. Places up and down the country are working really hard to deliver fast, efficient jabs and you’ll be in for two to three minutes and will not be touching things etc. If you Google vids about it a few NHS partners have done walkthroughs. If you look at Staffs CCG on YouTube they certainly have one. It’s obviously not exactly the same for each location, but many are following similar formats. Hope that reassures a little.

expatinspain · 01/10/2020 22:02

You really do sound like hard work No, you do. Read the thread for the love of god!

Ddot · 01/10/2020 22:03

Wow poor you, i get it, he should have just asked you. Shouted which do you prefer. A lot of people don't understand that its more stressful living with covid when your vulnerable. He obviously wasn't thinking and just chose wrongly. Suit up, mask, wipes, sanitizer get it done and over with. I wear something over my clothes I can take off and put in bag then straight in wash.

HelpOrHindrance · 01/10/2020 22:08

I bet you tut when you get a present you didn't want

Theradioison · 01/10/2020 22:10

HolyForkinShirt

READ THE F* THREAD!!!!

Jenny1951 · 01/10/2020 22:20

I feel sorry for him. ‘Poor Sod ’ as my Nan would say. Definitely unreasonable. I wish my husband would suggest a walk.

namechangedasscared · 01/10/2020 23:18

Funny because I was posted off at my husband for the exact opposite! We are both eligible for the flu jab (he has been for a long time due to being asthmatic, I have been for about 3 years due to a kidney condition). He was always rubbish at remembering to book himself in historically, so the last few years as soon as they could be booked, I would phone and book for both of us (and would do him an early morning a lot because he likes to get up and get it done, and me a later slot so I could have a lie in, and so we don’t need to take the kids with us).

A couple of weeks ago he came through to tell me he had booked his flu jab and told me when. I said “great, did you book mine too” (it’s extremely hard to get through to the surgery on the phone at the best of time’s) to which he replied “oh no I didn’t, I didn’t know you had it”. It really annoyed me because he’s been telling everyone that it’s really important he takes extra precautions when he went back into work etc, not because of his own health condition but because of.... then tilts his head at me. (After the third or fourth time I admit I lost it with him and asked why he kept making out it was my fault, I was at more risk etc, when he has 3 risk factors compared to it 1 (all similar levels of risk on their own)). Anyway, he was well aware of that, therefore he should have known that I would be getting the flu jab! And how could he not know that I have it anyway when we’ve discussed having had it previous years and the fact I always made sure I booked it for him or else he missed the clinic and ended up getting told off and having to have a normal appointment. In fact, thinking back, I even went and booked it for him before I was eligible (after the year he got told off).

So yes, YABU - at least he tried! The only thing slightly in your favour is he could have asked them to hang on whilst he called you to the phone, then let you know who was calling. That way you could have booked it yourself - you were on the loo, it wasn’t like you’d gone out!

I only read the first page, so apologies if there has been a big update that says this husband is massively controlling etc. I really just wanted a moan about my husband without starting a thread!

SurroundedByIdiotsEverywhere · 02/10/2020 00:22

YABU & OTT... Poor hubby!

CCC1 · 02/10/2020 00:23

Direct link to flu vaccination video

Furries · 02/10/2020 02:02

@SurroundedByIdiotsEverywhere - fairly apt username there. Maybe, just maybe, try to read even just the OP’s posts before delivering your verdict!

Furries · 02/10/2020 02:07

@Bankingswitch - I posted earlier saying that I gave up at page 11, but decided to finish it off.

All I can say is - you may have some health anxiety, which hopefully you can address in time. But, by jove, you have patience in abundance! All of your responses have been spot on. So refreshing to see that on AIBU.

Buffs · 02/10/2020 03:03

YAHU

pam290358 · 02/10/2020 06:30

Wow. What a judgemental lot you are !! Given that this lady is obviously suffering from a condition which compromises her immune system, she has good reason to be worried. I have a serious condition and have been shielding since Covid began, and it does significantly affect your anxiety levels when you’re told you are at high risk of contracting this horrible virus. I agree that GP surgeries are probably safer than most places but the risk isn’t entirely eradicated and I can see why she would still have anxiety. The pandemic is seriously affecting mental health, and worsening the situation for those who already have issues in this area - thus heightening and maybe blowing out of proportion things that would normally be minor irritations. I’m sure we’ve all had similar experiences - I know I have. The almost universal condemnation here, worries me. BTW, I made enquiries earlier this year re-the flu jab and was advised that all those who normally fall into the high risk category will continue to be prioritised for flu jabs, ahead of the new over 50 age group, and will be contacted as normal by GP surgeries. Mine has already done so. I wouldn’t have thought surgeries would be refusing anyone considered medically at risk.

hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 06:50

@PlonkItDownNOW

I can't believe this is still going 13 pages later when OP acknowledged she was BU on page 1 🤣
My thread should win some sort of prize 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 06:51

@Buffs

YAHU
Yahoo?! Is that good or bad?! 😂
hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 06:54

[quote Furries]@Bankingswitch - I posted earlier saying that I gave up at page 11, but decided to finish it off.

All I can say is - you may have some health anxiety, which hopefully you can address in time. But, by jove, you have patience in abundance! All of your responses have been spot on. So refreshing to see that on AIBU.[/quote]
Thank you! This thread has cheered me up no end when I started off in a bad way😂

So many kind posters who have taken the trouble to help me. Some more robust ones who set me straight.

Can't believe everyone isn't bored of discussing my appointment yet.
It's the thread that keeps on giving !

hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 06:56

@Jenny1951

I feel sorry for him. ‘Poor Sod ’ as my Nan would say. Definitely unreasonable. I wish my husband would suggest a walk.
"Poor sod" made me LOL Grin Will remember that next time I am cowbagging. My Dh is patient but I shouldn't push my luck too far.
hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 06:57

@HelpOrHindrance

I bet you tut when you get a present you didn't want
Look for my post about The Purse on this thread Grin
hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 07:03

@Iamthedevilinthedetail

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Missed your comment because I went for an early night, I tire easily what with my health problems.

So I am not sure what you were trying to tell me.

But you are right - the devil IS in the detailSmile appointment itself great, lucky to get it etc, just not picking the one I'd prefer was my (unreasonable) complaint. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 07:06

@Ddot

Wow poor you, i get it, he should have just asked you. Shouted which do you prefer. A lot of people don't understand that its more stressful living with covid when your vulnerable. He obviously wasn't thinking and just chose wrongly. Suit up, mask, wipes, sanitizer get it done and over with. I wear something over my clothes I can take off and put in bag then straight in wash.
ThanksSmile yes it is life-changing but I will find better ways of coping. Dh often "doesn't think" and I let a lot go. Unfortunately this really irked me.
nosswith · 02/10/2020 07:07

Reading this my first concern was the length of time the OP has been at her desk without a break of sorts, assuming this is the case.

hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 07:15

@nosswith

Reading this my first concern was the length of time the OP has been at her desk without a break of sorts, assuming this is the case.
Thank you for caring. It was a particularly busy day for me. I am freelance so only get paid for what I do and no sick pay or anything. Do get out for a long walk once a day with DH and dogs though.
hunneebunnee · 02/10/2020 07:16

@expatinspain

People on this thread are possibly the stupidest people I’ve ever come across on any thread on MN. THE OP HAS APOLOGISED TO HER HUSBAND. ALL IS WELL. STOP COMMENTING YOUR REPETITIVE BOLLOCKS NOW FFS! Jesus Christ!! OP, you have been calmness and patience personified on this thread.
My husband wouldn't recognise me on here 😂😂😂😂
lcl · 02/10/2020 07:34

People are still commenting because even though OP has backtracked , the very fact she was angry enough with her husband is enough to make people want her to wise up and maybe appreciate the poor guy. If this was gender reversed people would say it’s a form of emotional abuse getting angry just because something that was meant in a kind way wasn’t quite done to their liking. She needs to wise up to her perceptions of what is poor behaviour in a relationship.

tigerlilly22 · 02/10/2020 08:53

You are being very unreasonable and dare I say a Nag lol. Either cancel and rebook or attend appointment and stop moaning.