to be disappointed he didn't buy me an ipad?

[chookbug]

For months now, since the start of lockdown my husband has been dropping hints that he is going to buy me an ipad for my birthday. He bought a new one for himself last year and gave me his old one but it doesn't really work anymore as it is pre 2014 and so few apps work on it and the browser is crashing all the time. I didn't ask for a new ipad but he just kept hinting at how I needed a new and that I'd be wanting one for my birthday. I didn't ask for one or hint at it myself.

It was my birthday yesterday and he gave me a dvd and a book from my amazon list and some chocolate which is lovely but its a bit disappointing after him hinting at the ipad for so long. Our money situation is fine, and is unchanged although he earns a lot more than me so an ipad isn't a purchase I can easily make for myself.

I feel a bit petulant for being disappointed but it was unfair of him to drop hints. I asked everyone else for money so I could get an apple pencil even.

The new iPad is out already. It’s the new iPad Air which is released next month. Do you think he might buy you the air instead of the basic iPad?

I would explain to hubby that you thought you were going to have a new iPad for your birthday and that there is a new one coming out soon and you are prepared to use what birthday money you have and buy one then.

OP I am with @Hopeisnotastrategy on this. I maybe completely wrong but perhaps (maybe subconsciously) that you wanted it to be a gift so you'll get a nice warm feeling when you use the ipad. Also it will feel nicer to say to other people that the ipad is a birthday gift from your DH (even though the finance is shared and it is not like that he had to sacrifice something/save up to buy the ipad for you)

I am not saying you are but we women tend to hold on to romantic ideas and often try hard to match the relationships we are in, to the romantic stories we have in our heads. This is harmless on its own but often unhelpful if one's aim is to be in equal partnership.

Many years ago I used to have a flatmate who shop and cook every meal for her (not so great) boyfriend for almost a year so that he can save up to purchase her a birthday present (she paid for all the food shopping). She did that because the boyfriend always gave her cheap, thoughtless gifts.

I did not say anything of course but couldn't help thinking that her time, effort and money she spent on all those cooking and shopping was a lot more than the birthday present she eventually got but she was really happy when she got her present so I guess it was worth it for her.

As I said this may be totally irrelevant to you but worth thinking over.