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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed he didn't buy me an ipad?

153 replies

chookbug · 29/09/2020 11:58

For months now, since the start of lockdown my husband has been dropping hints that he is going to buy me an ipad for my birthday. He bought a new one for himself last year and gave me his old one but it doesn't really work anymore as it is pre 2014 and so few apps work on it and the browser is crashing all the time. I didn't ask for a new ipad but he just kept hinting at how I needed a new and that I'd be wanting one for my birthday. I didn't ask for one or hint at it myself.

It was my birthday yesterday and he gave me a dvd and a book from my amazon list and some chocolate which is lovely but its a bit disappointing after him hinting at the ipad for so long. Our money situation is fine, and is unchanged although he earns a lot more than me so an ipad isn't a purchase I can easily make for myself.

I feel a bit petulant for being disappointed but it was unfair of him to drop hints. I asked everyone else for money so I could get an apple pencil even.

OP posts:
Original poster
chookbug · 29/09/2020 14:03

The birthday or christmas thing is sort of my issue not his as I like them to be special and tend to wait until my birthday or christmas to get things i really want rather than buy them through the year. For example I if an album I wanted came out in July I would wait until September (my birthday) to get it, if it came out in October I'd wait till christmas iyswim? DH doesn't really bother about birthdays and christmas so much so just gets what he wants through the year. Turns out that he didn't know what one I would want and was waiting for the new ones to come out.

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/09/2020 14:11

Excellent news OP!

LunaLula83 · 29/09/2020 14:19

Ugh why accept his cast offs. No wonder he didnt buy you one

Original poster
chookbug · 29/09/2020 14:23

Well at first I thought it would be fine for what I needed and it was ok at first but over time it was laggy and apps stopped being compatible. The one I am getting now is more expensive and higher spec than his.

OP posts:
Original poster
chookbug · 29/09/2020 14:23

@YetAnotherSpartacus thanks Grin

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 29/09/2020 14:25

Did he say why he was hinting but didn't buy you the IPad?

EKGEMS · 29/09/2020 14:26

Oh so sorry my iPhone didn't refresh past your initial update about ordering one

Aridane · 29/09/2020 14:41

This is probably what I get for not being upfront about my grabby self and trying to appear all unmaterialistic!

Oh bless you

Aridane · 29/09/2020 14:42

Turns out that he didn't know what one I would want and was waiting for the new ones to come out.

Very sensible

Mella91 · 29/09/2020 14:57

You're married - it shouldn't be his money and my money. Tell him you want a new ipad and buy one for yourself with your joint money.

MJMG2015 · 29/09/2020 14:59

Turns out that he didn't know what one I would want and was waiting for the new ones to come out

So why didn't he ask you or give you a 'IOU an iPad'😘 note or something on your birthday, instead of waiting for you to bring it up?

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it feels very 'big man' bestows gifts on 'little woman' to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

AnnaMagnani · 29/09/2020 15:04

It sounds like you need a chat about what is a Christmas/Birthday present and what is something you just buy.

In my relationship I was your DH - if it's worn out, I'll replace it now, if the album's out now, I'll buy it, and my DH was you - my shoes are getting worn out so I'll ask for new ones for Christmas.

We had an open discussion about budgets for gifts, expectations etc and that the way we were doing things left him feeling continuously aggrieved and with holes in his shoes.

It helped a lot and we haven't had the same problems since.

Original poster
chookbug · 29/09/2020 15:05

@MJMG2015 you are reading it wrong, as I said he's just not that fussed about birthdays and we went on a day trip yesterday to the mountains so he was preoccupied with that. I should have just asked him.

OP posts:
Etinox · 29/09/2020 15:20

@seayork2020

Why not just buy your own? We just buy what we want at the time
For heaven's sake catch a hold of yourself @seayork2020
Nanny0gg · 29/09/2020 15:26

@seayork2020

Why not just buy your own? We just buy what we want at the time
Our money situation is fine, and is unchanged although he earns a lot more than me so an ipad isn't a purchase I can easily make for myself.

But actually the OP's money situation isn't fine as he clearly has more disposable income as he bought one for himself.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 29/09/2020 15:32

Nice result OP

rattusrattus20 · 29/09/2020 15:54

i see that this has been 'resolved' but my two penn'orth: iPads are very expensive, the decision to buy one [or, rather, the decision to buy a third one] should be a household thing, depending on how much spare cash you have and how much you want/need one.

seayork2020 · 29/09/2020 22:38

@Etinox yeah I should have realised the suggestion was some wacky old fashioned idea

Nikileigh · 30/09/2020 17:47

I’m hinting for the new Apple Watch for Christmas. My series 3 has broken 😭. I will very much have the face on if I don’t get it Christmas morning lol. Glad your new iPad is ordered @chookbug

MollyMinniesMum · 30/09/2020 17:50

Buy your own bloody iPad!! Are we in the dark ages?

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 30/09/2020 17:54

If you wanted a new ipad you should have asked for one. Hints can't be relied upon.

Oldbutkicking · 30/09/2020 17:58

I’ve got one of those old iPads. They hardly work at all. I’d do as suggested earlier and say that it’s too broken to use and that you’re going to buy another one. Then he can say that he’s getting you one for Christmas or that he’s ordered one, or if he says nothing about buying you one, just buy it.

Feckmesideways · 30/09/2020 17:58

Happy days OP. I was about to say maybe he did order one, but the delivery for some of the iPads take 2-3 weeks.

Twinkled · 30/09/2020 18:06

Buy one with shared money

SoupDragon · 30/09/2020 18:14

@Twinkled

Buy one with shared money
That would be a bit daft given there is already one on order.
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