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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 5 year old to school

93 replies

Mayla · 29/09/2020 05:26

All 3 of my kids have been going to school and to my surprise, they are very happy to do so, even my 5 year old who last year, hated going.
He has been very shy interacting with kids his age but this year he seems to already have made a bunch of friends.
He's good with mask wearing and the schoolis verygood with maintaining the bubble of the clsssroom and using sanitizer/washing hands.

My parents, both in their 70's, have now cone to stay with me (previously at my brother's house)
Mum has asthma and dad has diabetes, so both higher risk.

Their bedroom is downstairs with the den right next so that area so could easily be cordoned off if the kids show symptoms.

I work from home and it has been an extremely difficult few months with trying to homeschool them while working.

On top of that, my current work is coming to an end and i will be transitioning into a new career (also remote) for which i need to do an online course - so requires concentration.

However im worried about my son being a silent carrier to his grandparents. He's 5 and doesn't have the maturity his 11 year old sisters have to stay safe.

So what would you do? Send him or keep him home?

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 29/09/2020 05:30

That’s really hard. Of course he could be a carrier and your parents are vulnerable but it doesn’t seem at all fair to him to pull him out of school for this. And the pandemic could go on for ages so who knows when he could go back.

I’m just being nosy but is there a reason your parents had to come to you? It doesn’t sound an ideal set up.

Dancingwithdaftness · 29/09/2020 05:30

Send him to school.

Friolero · 29/09/2020 05:30

If you're worried your parents should leave rather than stopping your kids going to school!

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 29/09/2020 05:33

Your child deserves an education.

Womencanlift · 29/09/2020 05:38

Of course you send your child to school. Unless you can effectively home school which I assume you can’t as you say you require concentration for your own job then he has to receive his education at school

Rainallnight · 29/09/2020 05:39

We’re thinking of getting our loft converted so that MIL can move in with us as she’s been so lonely due to Covid. She’s very elderly though quite independent but the thinking is that she and the DC would really keep their distance - they’d be on waving from the top of the stairs terms really. Could your parents self isolate within your house?

headscantwin · 29/09/2020 05:42

You really need to send them to school. It's not fair to them to miss out on an education. This is particularly important in your case as they were previously reluctant to attend. By withdrawing you could really knock them back. School isn't optional all students have to attend.

Racoonworld · 29/09/2020 06:04

Really unfair to your DC to pull them out of school, they deserve an education and will fall behind. Why did your DP have to move in with you? It doesn’t seem a great idea really at this time.

LittleBearPad · 29/09/2020 06:04

Your children deserve an education and the social interaction with children their own age.

Nquartz · 29/09/2020 06:05

Definitely keep them in school, particularly as it sounds like the school is managing the situation well & they're enjoying it.

Will you parents be living with you for a while? Do they have anywhere else to go?

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 06:07

@PaulinePetrovaPosey

Your child deserves an education.
This is an obtuse remark. Children who are home educated get an education. Tens of thousands every year in normal times.

OP you are not being silly and there is much to think about. You need to consider case levels near you and your ability to homeschool effectively.

LittleBearPad · 29/09/2020 06:08

If you do keep them home then who looks after them - your parents?

Which presumably means no trips to the playground, no seeing their friends, no trips out and about.

Perhaps your parents should find somewhere else to stay.

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 06:09

School isn't optional all students have to attend.

Actually, school is optional.

Education is compulsory and UK law states parents have a choice whether to provide this:

  • by sending to school
  • otherwise (meaning at home)
LittleBearPad · 29/09/2020 06:11

@RepeatSwan

Read the OP

I work from home and it has been an extremely difficult few months with trying to homeschool them while working.

On top of that, my current work is coming to an end and i will be transitioning into a new career (also remote) for which i need to do an online course - so requires concentration.

So who is going to home school the children? Because this isn’t the same as a parent choosing to home school because they have the time and inclination to do so.

FippertyGibbett · 29/09/2020 06:16

Send your child to school. His education and future should be your priority.
Do your parents not have their own home ?

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 06:16

@LittleBearPad

The OP would have to work that out, obviously.

The problem with these threads is they are full.of comments from people who know nothing about home education.

When you do it properly, it is nothing like the lockdown situation everyone was thrown into.

headscantwin · 29/09/2020 06:19

The op doesn't seem to be suggesting home schooling as an alternative. Home 'school' is an alternative to attending school but not what this op appears to be about.

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 29/09/2020 06:19

@RepeatSwan of course some people homeschool.

But the OP said that she found homeschooling hard, and that her DC are thriving on the social interaction of school.

Blunt perhaps, but not obtuse.

LittleBearPad · 29/09/2020 06:19

[quote RepeatSwan]@LittleBearPad

The OP would have to work that out, obviously.

The problem with these threads is they are full.of comments from people who know nothing about home education.

When you do it properly, it is nothing like the lockdown situation everyone was thrown into.[/quote]
Oh well if the OP would just have to work that out that’s alright isn’t it.

Hmm

The OP doesn’t want to home educate her children - that’s why they are at school and would stay there otherwise.

One other problem with these threads is the home schooling evangelicals.

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 06:22

One other problem with these threads is the home schooling evangelicals.

My chdren are in school!

I just read a lot of bossy boots telling people they can't do things they obviously know nothing about, and it is irritating.

KitKat1985 · 29/09/2020 06:23

You need to send him to school I think. It sounds like he's settled there and it's easiest for him to have an education that way.

Have a frank talk with your parents. Their reason for needing to stay with you isn't clear from your OP but you need to be honest with them that them staying with you does put them at a higher risk of catching covid because the kids could potentially bring it home. Providing they have all their faculties, it's up to them I think if they are happy to take that risk or whether they need to find other accomodation.

DragonPie · 29/09/2020 06:26

Send him to school.

Qqwweerrtty · 29/09/2020 06:26

11 year olds really don’t socially distance anymore than 5 year olds in school. It will be very hard for your 11yr olds to ‘stay safe’ and an unfair responsibility for them.

DragonPie · 29/09/2020 06:26

Just to add my 6 year old is better at washing his hands than my older one. It’s the first they do when entering school.

LittleBearPad · 29/09/2020 06:27

@RepeatSwan

One other problem with these threads is the home schooling evangelicals.

My chdren are in school!

I just read a lot of bossy boots telling people they can't do things they obviously know nothing about, and it is irritating.

No, just responding to the fact pattern in the OP rather than a totally different scenario.