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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 5 year old to school

93 replies

Mayla · 29/09/2020 05:26

All 3 of my kids have been going to school and to my surprise, they are very happy to do so, even my 5 year old who last year, hated going.
He has been very shy interacting with kids his age but this year he seems to already have made a bunch of friends.
He's good with mask wearing and the schoolis verygood with maintaining the bubble of the clsssroom and using sanitizer/washing hands.

My parents, both in their 70's, have now cone to stay with me (previously at my brother's house)
Mum has asthma and dad has diabetes, so both higher risk.

Their bedroom is downstairs with the den right next so that area so could easily be cordoned off if the kids show symptoms.

I work from home and it has been an extremely difficult few months with trying to homeschool them while working.

On top of that, my current work is coming to an end and i will be transitioning into a new career (also remote) for which i need to do an online course - so requires concentration.

However im worried about my son being a silent carrier to his grandparents. He's 5 and doesn't have the maturity his 11 year old sisters have to stay safe.

So what would you do? Send him or keep him home?

OP posts:
SimonJT · 29/09/2020 06:30

Send him to school, I have type one diabetes and 20% spleen function, my five year old is going to school as normal, hes fast asleep in bed with me now. Keeping him at home while I work all day would be very unfair on him.

Sally872 · 29/09/2020 06:30

I would find somewhere else for parents to stay rather than stop school if it is a concern. Are your parents comfortable with the risk?

OverTheRubicon · 29/09/2020 06:31

Your 11 year olds, no matter how careful, still brings some risk, it's not fair to keep the 5 year old home for a long term situation like this unless you're planning to properly home school him, not just have him hang out with his elderly grandparents or the TV for most of the time while you work.

What happened at your brother's house? Did he have kids? If so, what did they do there? If not, why are they coming to live with you?

ComicePear · 29/09/2020 06:32

Personally I'd send him to school.

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 06:32

So my actual answer is:

  • You could home school him, but you would have to research how you would approach it, there are different ways
  • You don't have to do it all yourself, you can outsource the teaching.
  • Your child would need social interaction and that is going to get harder over winter due to covid.

Home education is usually harder than sending your kids to school. But you are entitled to do it, so do your research. But try to be honest about what you would want to be able to provide.

The issue isn't really 'getting behind' so much as whether the child would have an adequate year, and whether it would be an excessive workload on you to do it in a way you'd feel ok with.

Mintjulia · 29/09/2020 06:32

Your son's education is the priority.

Why have your parents come to stay during a pandemic? Suggest that they delay their visit until next year.

PleasantVille · 29/09/2020 06:33

Have you posted this before, either I'm having deja vu or another poster has posted the exact same dilemma previously.

I'd send my child to school too, adults should take responsibility for themslves. Do your parents have a home of their own?

ivfbeenbusy · 29/09/2020 06:37

It's not fair to disrupt your sons education because you agreed to your parents coming to stay ffs!!!! If they were that vulnerable they should have stayed at your brothers? Why don't they have their own home?

Porridgeoat · 29/09/2020 06:37

Op doesn’t have time to home educate. She’s working and in a new job. The only people who could home educate are the grandparents. And normal home education is nothing like lockdown (unless you want your son to be completely isolated for the next few years till Covid is over). Grandparents would need to get involved with the hone education groups locally which also bare Covid risk.

So I recon send him to school. He’s happy there so no child centred reason to home educate.

There are precautions you can help your son take. Like him not touching anything when returning to the house, showering and changing clothes once home, putting school clothes immediately in the washing basket. Daily temperature taking. If your son needs to self isolate he needs to stay in his bedroom and the family bathroom needs to be cleaned down between each use by the person using the bathroom. This will minimise risk to your parents who will be legally required to isolate if your son has Covid. Maybe you could self isolate with your son so that it’s the whole of the upstairs in isolation from the down stairs. Your girls could sleep in the playroom downstairs and stay downstairs or be 100% with the covid floor upstairs. Either way chat to the family and make a plan.

whatswithtodaytoday · 29/09/2020 06:38

If you're all living in the same house you will have a high chance of catching it anyway, regardless of social distancing. It's spread in the air as well as touch, and being in an enclosed space for a long period of time is the best possible conditions for spreading the virus. Unless your parents are planning on staying in their room at all times?

Of course your child needs to go to school, given that you can't homeschool him. Plus he's happy and settled. But you need to think about whether it's sensible for your parents to stay. It may be better to leave it up to them - do they want to take the risk?

WokesFromHome · 29/09/2020 06:51

Mum has asthma and dad has diabetes, so both higher risk.

Why does this stop them from being able to look after themselves in their own home? Why do they need to stay with either you or your DB? They have each other.

I'd tell them they can stay, but your DC will be going to school. Let them make the call and assess the risk they are willing to take.

Your DC's needs should be coming first TBH and they want to be in school.

Qwertywerty3 · 29/09/2020 06:55

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

RepeatSwan · 29/09/2020 07:00

@Qwertywerty3

I really don’t think a 5 year old is significantly more risky than an 11 year old. If you’re parents are high risk (which they are due to their age, regardless of underlying health conditions) then it seems very strange that they have chosen to come and live with a family with school age children.
This is pertinent I think, as the virus will be worse in secondary due to bubble size.

Although it is not inevitable that household members catch it, according to research. If people keep away and hygiene is good.

The virus is not as infectious as measles for example (but this doesn't mean you can just behave normally, you'd have to sit apart, clean and ventilate etc to have any chance - and it might not work).

Quartz2208 · 29/09/2020 07:00

You have to send him to school - with precautions.

Make sure you have a routine of handwashing and clothes etc when he gets home.

Do your parents have a separate bathroom? Make sure as well they socially distance from him.

PaddyF0dder · 29/09/2020 07:03

Your parents are aware of the risk. It’s not their house. A child needs an education.

Send him to school.

Beautiful3 · 29/09/2020 07:05

I've tried home schooling. It was hard work! Can you work from home and home school?!! Because I couldn't!

pastandpresent · 29/09/2020 07:13

How long are they planning to stay with you? Like pp asked, why do they need to stay with you?
If you keep him home while your parents are with you, is it just a short period of time, or for long term?

Personally, unless there is legitimate reason for homeschooling, I think children should go to school, especially they really enjoy it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2020 07:23

I think it’s safer to send a 5 yo to school than a secondary school child due to bubble numbers. I do not believe your 11 yo is social distancing. Mine isn’t either and she’s 12. Their bubble is 250. A 5 yos bubble will be perhaps 30-60 for most, I imagine.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2020 07:23

Oops I didn’t answer your question. Your parents have chosen to stay despite the pandemic. You should send your ds to school.

DragonPie · 29/09/2020 07:24

If they or you were that worried they shouldn’t be staying. It’s not fair on your 5 year old.

Lookingbackatme · 29/09/2020 07:32

Send your 5yo to school - he enjoys it and is settled. It is also naive to think that 11yo are less likely to bring home the virus. Go and stand outside any school gate and you’ll see SD is pretty much non-existent with children.

Unless your parents require support with care needs they really shouldn’t be coming to live with you during a pandemic and then you are feel obligated to withdraw your DC from school.

Benjispruce2 · 29/09/2020 07:34

I don’t think you can school at home in your circumstances so you’ll have to manage the risk.

Fedupoftheworld · 29/09/2020 07:35

Send him to school. If it’s that much for a risk to your parents maybe they should do a social distanced visit and stay another time.

GreyishDays · 29/09/2020 07:35

How long are they staying with you?

TheSkyFalleth · 29/09/2020 07:38

Send him to school of course!
At 5 he is old enough to understand what coronavirus is and what he can and can't do!