To not see the point in life?

[sunshinerays]

This has nothing to do with covid, I felt this way before covid and feel the same now.

I don't understand the point of life. It's repetitive BS. I try and do so many 'exciting' things and still feel it's a pile of crap most of the time.

I want to point out I'm not suicidal for a variety of reasons that I won't go into but I'm questioning how abnormal is it to feel this way or do lots of people feel this way but just pretend otherwise?

I have no reason to feel this way from the outside I have the 'perfect' life and people would be surprised if they knew how I feel.

Every day is - pointless (with the exception of the odd day here and there). Totally pointless in particular Monday to Friday I just see no enjoyment.

I feel like an entitled twat writing this post but have no one to talk to. I've tried counselling and it doesn't seem to fix the problem.

This is less about AIBU and more about reaching out to others I guess to see if anyone else is in similar situation 😓

Alpha course? As a Christian I see great meaning in life. You could also look into different religions and things like Buddhism etc

Something you enjoy or something you really give a shit about?

Something you enjoy isn't enough. In fact I try and dissuade people from going into something that's just 'enjoyable' like a hobby as what it usually does is turn the enjoyable thing into work.

It has to be something that can actually stir your soul...

Can you see this as a relief? It's a relief to realise the pointless striving of being human. Its freeing. You don't have to have a point.

@sunshinerays yes I do agree regarding celebrities.

I have always thought I would be happy when I achieved certain things .. I have achieved them but still been miserable .

I dreamt of the life I have now 10 years ago but I'm miserable just dreading the future to come

Quite a lot of the time life seems pointless but occasionally it doesn't.

Those times when you fall in love, reconnect with an old friend, see a child you know grow up and succeed, find something new you enjoy, have a good memory triggered, meet a new friend, read a good book, master a difficult recipe, even drink a good cup of tea.

You never know when the good bits are going to happen.

It depends if you think there is a deeper meaning to life. Not necessarily religion, but a spiritual path or a greater purpose. If not then the sad reality is that life is just get up, go to work, feed kids & watch TV and that isn’t very meaningful for most people and won’t make them happy.

@TiredSloth

Sorry I haven’t read the whole thread but I just have to say I feel exactly the same. I don’t get excited by things or feel any joy. I basically make sure the dc are clean, fed and at school on time but spend the rest of my time glued to my sofa. I can’t see the point in doing anything because it’s all just a pile of crap. If I didn’t have dc I don’t think I’d be here anymore.

That very much sounds like depression, obvs I can't armchair diagnose but have you spoken to your GP?

Life doesn't need to feel like that...

No-one should settle for life feeling like that...

@blue25 a greater purpose like what though?

Guys, please don't settle for a life that feels like this.

Have to go to bed now...will be back in the morning with more irritatingly positive advice

Set goals for yourself that you want to achieve each year that will make you feel like you are fulfilled

And break it down so that you can feel the process you are making towards that

Even if it’s ten minutes per day

@wheresmymojo I have more soul searching to do then becasue nothing stirs my soul

I get very angry about some things but wouldn't pro actively go out to try and change them

You have to figure out your purpose, very rarely does it get served on a platter.

Also I think 'purpose' feels a bit fluffy and unachievable...like you're waiting for a calling from God with a sunbeam and a chorus of angels with little brass horns.

Hence I think of it as 'doing something you actually give a shit about' which seems much more 'doable'

Honestly, life is a big fat con. A lie, I guess that's why so many celebrities end up depressed. Imagine all that success and effort to still come to the same conclusion?
No they're depressed as they realise the dream they worked hard for is a shallow one that doesn't give them any true satisfaction. They haven't "won at life" and then found it wanting, they haven't found true meaning at all. If there is nothing you're prepared to die for there is nothing to live for (who said that? MLK possibly) If you have no purpose then why not make helping other people your purpose for a while, and see where that leads you.

Would you consider speaking to your doctor OP?

OP from your posts something suggests to me it is your job that's the problem. Change that and you might feel more hopeful.

You don't have to stay there. You don't .

Forgive me if I'm off base, but I don't think I am.

@wheresmymojo thank you and it's not irritating lol you've been very helpful x

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze I did a few months ago and took meds but had to stop due to another condition I was diagnosed with. I won't mention what it is as it might be outing but can confuse the meds so waiting for it to be resolved. I believe I do need meds if it doesn't.

Tried years to avoid meds but I've been feeling like this now for 15 years since a teenager so I'm at last resort now

[quote sunshinerays]@wheresmymojo I have more soul searching to do then becasue nothing stirs my soul

I get very angry about some things but wouldn't pro actively go out to try and change them [/quote]

Okay...so being harsh to be kind.

Do you think you're throwing a sort of tantrum about it?

Like stomping your feet that you don't have any purpose or meaning but don't really want to put any work in to finding one either?

(I say this from a place of non-judgment as I've been there)

@wheresmymojo

I have been to my gp but I get really awkward and I have this huge overriding feeling of inadequacy. Like who on earth do I think I am to think that other people care how I’m feeling? How self indulgent would that be? I also can’t imagine a world where me going to the dr would help me overcome this and find meaning in my life.

Have you heard of the Sutton Trust? They focus on education. I do empathise with what you're describing though - essentially life is a bit mundane with the odd highlight thrown in. But mostly hard work. And for what? I often find myself willing time away. But for what purpose? Why do I want to get to the end of the work day sooner/get the kids to bed/get through the day? So I can repeat it all? I think the answer is probably to live in the moment as much as possible and look for joy in the little things. Sounds trite though, I know. And as someone else said, embrace that you're fully aware of the pointlessness of life. Feel freed by that. Just enjoy yourself. Once you work out what that involves. I wouldn't recommend a whole house renovation on a tight budget and timescale to find that joy!

@TakemedowntoPotatoCity I think you're right but I can't change. I can't escape from it, I can't explain why because again it would be outing but it's VERY complicated and not the kind of thing you can just walk away from without creating a mess that given my headspace would be impossible to clean up.

I think we’ve all been led to have unrealistic expectations. Follow your goals, live your dream, live your best life, be fulfilled.

But think about animals - for them life is a matter of surviving, getting food, avoiding danger, finding shelter, day in day out. And possibly reproducing. That’s it. None of them are expecting fulfilment or excitement from life.

And we are, after all, animals. We’ve managed to make our lives much more comfortable than most animals but that’s still basically what our lives are about. Surviving, comfortably (if we’re lucky).

Perhaps we need to stop kidding ourselves that there’s more to life than this and we’d have fewer disappointed people? Once you accept life has no broader purpose, no big reveal, then perhaps you can appreciate the small things better, since you’re not writing those things off as “pointless”. There is no big “point” to life, all we can do enjoy life as much as we can day to day, that is the point.

Aw, lovie - you sound like you're desperate to get off the treadmill but just keep stepping sideways. What would be the worst thing to happen if you just closed your eyes and jumped?

Look up Jude Jennison - a big swinging dick in the corporate world who jumped and (with lots of courage and hard work) landed on her feet as a communications coach, working with horses.

If you could throw off the expectations of your upbringing and the society that bores you, what would you dream of?

What do you want to be different in your life? What would your ideal day look like? What do you admire in others, and why?

@wheresmymojo I feel like I have tried, honestly I've joined groups, considered courses, gone to classes.

I guess there always the 'try harder approach'

I honestly think I'm at a point now where meds is the answer and if that doesn't work I'm screwed