Trying until having a baby boy

[TunMahla]

An acquaintance of mine basically kept trying to have a baby boy after having had only daughters previously (4 of them!). I personally find it shocking that there can be such a preference for male progeny in this day and age. Note, I am talking about clear preference for a boy, not trying for another child of a different gender.

YABU: it is normal to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy
YANBU: it is weird as hell to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy

My friend when I was younger was one of 7

Her mum really wanted a girl. She had 5 boys. Then my friend came along and her mum thought her luck had changed so went for no. 7
It was a boy.

Friends mum loved all her children but liked the idea of when they were older she could go shopping with her dd.

It's a bit depressing but also not that surprising. People don't realise that mumsnet isn't the norm and that most people (sadly) don't actually pine for a little girl whilst looking after their little boys very happily and lovingly.

In real life girls are still treated like shit in most of the world.

I meant the character

What---"call out" Molly Weasley? How does that work? She's not real. How can anyone call out a fictional character existing between the lines of ink on a page?

In real life girls are still treated like shit in most of the world.

Even before they're born, sadly.

I guess people feel how they feel. It's not right to be disappointed though. It the girls are a disappointment then no they shouldn't have had them. But if they are very much loved and it doesn't truly matter to the parents they are girls then I guess it's not horrendous. But you can't keep going beyond what you have money and time for. I mean look at the Radford family. They've got fame hungry and the kids are now just a product. But they are now living in luxury due to constantly craving a new baby.

I always wanted two girls. But my second was a boy. I was still really happy and after a half hour of omg I don't know what to do with boys I was so excited. If I had a third I would hope for another boy. Not because I don't love my little girl as much but just because I've never had boys in my life. I had three sisters and nieces. He's given me a really different experience. But if be equally over the moon with another beautiful girl.

I think children are just a blessing in general. People go through so much heartache with pregnancy and infant loss. I just feel grateful I have two wonderful children. But yeah people feel how they feel. They obviously want a boy. But let's hope those girls are adored too!

@BabyLlamaZen

It's a bit depressing but also not that surprising. People don't realise that mumsnet isn't the norm and that most people (sadly) don't actually pine for a little girl whilst looking after their little boys very happily and lovingly.

In real life girls are still treated like shit in most of the world.

This is absolutely true but a lot of these comments seem to imply the current preference for girls in the UK (which isn't just a MN thing, there's more data on the US than the UK but there's pretty strong evidence there that parents now prefer girls) is a reasonable 'evening up' of the balance. Well, firstly it isn't harmless - apparently 70-90% of adoptive parents adopting from overseas express a preference for a girl which is pretty heartbreaking for the little boys in orphanages and also very harmful as it seems to have driven child-trafficking of girls in Cambodia. Secondly, surely the aim isn't for as many people globally to want girls as boys but rather for as many people as possible to move past the restrictive stereotypes of what boys and girls do that drives the preferences at all?

We have three girls. Last time we flew to NZ we went through Turkey and I was surprised (though maybe shouldn't have been?) when people kept saying "Ah, 3 girls! What a blessing!" They weren't being sarcastic. (They also wouldn't have thought they were such a blessing if they had seen them in Singapore Airport.)

We did, however, have plenty of people in the UK ask us if we were trying for a boy when I was pregnant with DD3.

@catsjammies

I think it's awful and irresponsible and selfish. The world is already so overpopulated, the last thing anyone needs is people popping out endless children just because they don't have the genitals the parents would like them to have 🙄

I agree! I’m shocked by the acceptance of all these huge families, regardless of the reasons for them

I have three boys then a girl. That's just the way it worked out. Actually we had the last dc after a bereavement and moving to a bigger house, we wanted something happy after sadness, had more love to give, boys wanted a sibling and we now had the room. I'm sad that people could think I only had the middle boys to get a girl.

It’s ridiculous on my fb I have an old work colleague and she had 3 girls and when pregnant with number 4 dad kept saying better be a boy etc and it was a boy and baring mind they have 4 children it’s only him they post about.

I had a bit then twin boys.
When I was younger in used to dream about having boys. I meant literally. I wanted girls and works day dream about fields but whenever I dreamt about having kids, they were only ever boys. In fact the only time I dreamt I had a girl, it was a nightmare early in my pregnancy with Ds1.

I'm sure I'll get asked if I want a girl and if I'm trying for a girl, but frankly 3 kids it's all we can afford, and it's a push at 3 so Def no more

I find it odd but know a lot of people who have done this. The amount of sympathetic head tilts when I told people found out my second (and last) was a boy and I got no end of - so you'll be having a third soon then so you can get a girl - this isn't really your last is it? Erm actually no I won't be having a 3rd. I was just grateful having 2 babies that were healthy. That's all that mattered. And I actually adore having two boys - wouldn't have it any other way.

It's very odd. I have an acquaintance who did the opposite and kept going until she got a girl. She has 5 children when she only wanted 2

@notfromstepford

I think it sounds awesome. I have one of each. But two boys sounds fab. I love the idea of brothers. How wonderful for you to watch them grow into young men together.

People are ridiculous!

One of my au pairs had come from a family with 7 girls and a boy. It's rough growing up knowing you weren't really wanted.

I couldn’t do it and think it’s irresponsible but Don’t think it’s that uncommon. I would have liked a daughter but got 2 sons. A daughter would still have been nice but no way did I want a third (or fourth etc) child.

[quote Justaboy]Friend of mine did do this, and has 4 daughters. They were very happy with daughters, but husband happens to be a hereditary peer with an estate that goes with the title.

Was'nt the Braybrookes was it?...

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2268575/The-baron-daughters-angry-wife-drama-makes-Downton-look-tame.html[/quote]
It wasn't! But a similar situation.

Much simpler if they changed the rules of succession, but that is a whole other can of worms!

What do you think OP?

My aunt has three girls. She had two girls and tried one last time to see if it would be a boy...it was another girl but she was happy with that. All her girls had boys so she finally got a boy (3 in fact).

I know one marriage that broke up due to this. They had 4 boys and his wife would say DS1 was great but the rest were ‘disappointments’. I found that sad. After he said they were done but then her ‘pill failed’ and the had the 3rd boy. The her ‘coil moved’and boy number 4 came along. She said she wanted one last try and he said no they were struggling financially (she didn’t work as they’d be worse off with childcare etc) and for space and he wanted a vasectomy to prevent any more contraception ‘failures’ she went mad and said she’d divorce him if he did that, she deserved another try for a girl. He stopped sleeping with her because he didn’t want another child and the marriage broke down it was very sad.

I went to school with a girl who had 7 sisters and then a brother. I think we were 10 when the boy was born. He was the most spoiled child I've ever met. It was like he was the new Messiah. They lived in a 4 bed house, all good size doubles, and from newborn he had his own room and the girls were moved into sharing two.

I ran the creche at the wedding for a Chinese couple once. Boys outnumbered girls 5 to 1.

It happens both ways but it's equally grim either way, especially for all the older siblings.

@FurrySlipperBoots

I ran the creche at the wedding for a Chinese couple once. Boys outnumbered girls 5 to 1.

Would that not suggest that the Chinese parents were either terminating girl pregnancies or having lots of extra boys while trying for girls? What I mean is that if your culture has a preference for one sex then (one child policy notwithstanding) you are going to have more of the unwanted sex, aren’t you?

My Dh's aunt had 11 girls and only stopped at 12 when she finally had a boy. The boy is spoilt rotten and his sisters wait on him hand and foot. They are from a country with a highly patriarchal society.
I feel sorry for the girls. I am sure their parents do love them, but do they love them as much as the boy? They were clearly only born in the hope that they were male.

I add, the Chinese preference for boys is well known. But do Chinese parents who have a boy first time round, and do not live in China so not subject to one-child policy, tend to stop at one child? Unless they really are illegally selecting for sex at conception stage or illegally terminating girl pregnancies, you would not get more boys than girls unless they were all stopping at one boy.