Page 11 | Trying until having a baby boy

TunMahla · 2020-09-28T09:16:16+00:00

An acquaintance of mine basically kept trying to have a baby boy after having had only daughters previously (4 of them!). I personally find it shocking that there can be such a preference for male progeny in this day and age. Note, I am talking about clear preference for a boy, not trying for another child of a different gender. YABU: it is normal to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy YANBU: it is weird as hell to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy

Smellbellina · 28/09/2020 21:12

It’s quite an assumption to make, and people do make it. But only people that don’t really know me.

Sceptre86 · 28/09/2020 22:30

My dad's cousin had 6 girls whilst trying for a boy. They finally gave up when my dad's cousin said he didn't want anymore kids and went for the snip.

My sil has one ds and despite having two miscarriages at 20 weeks is adamant she only wants to have boys.

My cousin has 2 dd's and always gets asked if she will try for another. She seems happy with her girls but always fails to acknowledge my son, to the point where I have reduced contact as a result.

I have one of each and am considering a third. My auntie was aghast when my dh said he would love dd to have a sister as she asks for one a lot. I would be happy with either if we do get blessed again.

Each child regardless of sex brings their own unique personality to a family and is a gift in their own right.

MintyYogaTea · 28/09/2020 23:10

@MikeUniformMike

Fairly similar to Albless.

Families hoping to pass on a business tended to want one son and one or more daughters.
2 sons would mean needing to buy another business.
The girls would be encouraged to 'get ahead' and get a nice job like a teacher, nurse or secretary before they got married.

In farming families this is common.

MintyYogaTea · 28/09/2020 23:13

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I always feel for the babies that are ‘wrong’. I’ll never forget a birth announcement I once saw:

‘To X and Y, a fifth and final daughter.’
Just that, so sad. Poor little baby.

I feel that way too. Poor children. In terms of the newspaper announcement though, could it possibly have been that parents had decided no more kids, regardless of gender?

CounsellorTroi · 28/09/2020 23:55

Some don't appreciate how lucky they are to have a baby at all.

Well yes. I've seen talk on here about grieving for the baby of the sex you didn't have, and I find it incomprehensible.

ViciousJackdaw · 29/09/2020 01:24

I feel dreadful for those who are unable to have any child at all yet have to listen to the complaints of others. Must feel like the ultimate kick in the teeth. If you are disappointed by the sex of your newest addition please do the following things: Count yourself lucky and keep schtum about it.

Becuna · 29/09/2020 01:46

I was friends with a family who had six girls because they were trying for a boy. Something happened and that much wanted and loved son became a drug addict and died.

BiblioX · 29/09/2020 05:38

When people find out I have six daughters and one son they often rudely presume I kept going to get a boy. Nope. He was my fourth, I adore him but I adore my girls just as much. Each family is unique and people really need to mind their own business.

hopefulhalf · 29/09/2020 06:16

It's a minor thing, but people always asume a preference for one of each. I am one of 2 girls my Dsis is my best friend, never wanted a brother. DH is one of 2 boys also very close. I am slightly sad that my one of each dcs won't have that same sex sibling intamacy. But know how lucky I am to have had 2 healthy children so STFU

Twizbe · 29/09/2020 06:54

@ViciousJackdaw

I feel dreadful for those who are unable to have any child at all yet have to listen to the complaints of others. Must feel like the ultimate kick in the teeth. If you are disappointed by the sex of your newest addition please do the following things: Count yourself lucky and keep schtum about it.

I went through years of infertility. It's shit, absolutely horrible. But I never felt that just because I couldn't have a baby that everyone else had to have them and be happy about it.

I'm one of the lucky ones in that I now have 2 beautiful children (one of each) I suffered with gender disappointment with my second. I got over it and now I wouldn't swap that baby for the world. For me it was more about grieving for the child that never was, rather than not loving the child I had.

People will always make assumptions about your family. I've been told I was 'very clever' for having one of each. That made zero sense to me. When I was pregnant with DC2 my husband and I were the only ones who wanted another the same. Everyone else was hoping for one of each.

PleaseGoToSleeep · 29/09/2020 07:11

I have three girls and a boy.
When my second and third girls were born all I got was people asking if we'd try again for a boy.
We weren't bothered, and didn't find out the sex with any of them. Fourth time around constantly being asked are you hoping for a boy. When he was born I just felt relief that everyone would stop going on at me.
The best thing about having the boy was the drs allowing my husband to have a vasectomy because we had some of each 😅

Rosebel · 29/09/2020 07:31

My husbands cousin and his wife have 5 boys and she's pregnant again. It's actually her husband more than her who's desperate for a girl.
MIL thinks it's a bad idea as a girl would be spoiled rotten and the boys practically ignored.
I don't get it. We had a surprise baby this year that was a boy. It wasn't intentional though and we were perfectly happy with 2 girls (actually freaked out a bit as no experience of baby boys).

LakieLady · 29/09/2020 07:47

I have a friend who is the youngest of 3 boys. His mother blamed his being gay on her constant wishing for a girl.

SuzieQQQ · 29/09/2020 08:07

Yanbu it’s weird. The only concern should be for a healthy baby.

theAntsareMyFriends · 29/09/2020 09:29

I have 3sons. All wanted and I was very happy when I found out each one was a boy although I'm sure I would have been happy with a girl too. The number of people that assume in only had DS3 in the hope of having a girl is amazing. I really worry that he will pick up on this when he's older and think he was less wanted.
My DC2 has health problems so when people say all you should want is a healthy baby they are missing the point that even if the baby isnt healthy they are still a wonderful individual that you are lucky to have in your life.

Enko · 29/09/2020 15:29

I wanted a daughter and I got that with DD1 after that I didn't care but liked the idea of a sister for dd1 however had it been a boy I would have been equally happy. When DD2 was born I had so many ask if I was disappointed it was another girl that when my dearly loved grandad as no 120382323 asked I snapped " no it was what I ordered"

When DS arrived we got lots of " you got your boy" when we then went on to have no 4 people ALL wanted a boy to " even things up" and even now at 18 people feel sorry for DS for " having so many sisters" He is close to his sisters they love each other and frankly I don't thinkhe minds one bit

goldensummerhouse · 29/09/2020 16:03

I followed an Irish YouTuber who couldn't have made it clearer that she was disappointed her first child was a girl. Her second child was a boy and was immediately given the largest bedroom in the house - as a newborn...

Hirewiredays · 30/09/2020 12:36

I have two boys. I adore them. I am from a family of girls. Those boys are precious! Just had my third, a girl and everything says oh you must be complete. She wasn't planned. But I'm pleased she is purely by the fact it's a change. I still prefer boys clothes and boys toys; she may well not want to go shopping and have her nails done but my older boy loves it all that so that's great!

Persephoned · 30/09/2020 13:32

@TunMahla yes yabu to only be talking about it when repeatedly trying for a boy, not a child of either gender.

Oliversmumsarmy · 30/09/2020 13:37

I followed an Irish YouTuber who couldn't have made it clearer that she was disappointed her first child was a girl. Her second child was a boy and was immediately given the largest bedroom in the house - as a newborn

Wtf

They do realise that the video is out there for years to come and will split their family.

Can’t believe some people are so obsessed with chasing fame they throw their lives and their children’s lives under a bus.

Sounds like Kanye West and what he said about wanting to abort North.

You might think something and mask it. You don’t say it on camera.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 30/09/2020 14:24

@Oliversmumsarmy Kanye West has Bipolar disorder. He's very, unwell and was having a manic episode when he said that.

It's really sad to see such an ill person paraded over the media tbh.

I mean I'm sure he's an arsehole too, the two aren't mutually exclusive but I don't think we can compare someone who isn't in full control to some airhead favouring one child over the others.

ancientgran · 30/09/2020 18:13

Some families are more open than others. I was the second girl and was aware from an early age that I was supposed to be a boy. Didn't bother me, I knew I was loved and knew it didn't matter once I was born.