Trying until having a baby boy

[TunMahla]

An acquaintance of mine basically kept trying to have a baby boy after having had only daughters previously (4 of them!). I personally find it shocking that there can be such a preference for male progeny in this day and age. Note, I am talking about clear preference for a boy, not trying for another child of a different gender.

YABU: it is normal to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy
YANBU: it is weird as hell to keep trying pregnancy after pregnancy to get a baby boy

My aunt and uncle kept going until they had a girl (their 4th child). It didn’t mean they loved their 3 sons any less.

IMO a preference for boys is embedded in some cultures.

After I had dd2 - dh and I were entirely happy and dh bought me a lovely ring - a non Brit neighbour called, saw my ring and instantly said, ‘You got that for a GIRL?’

None of your business is it? It's not new behaviour, it's been going on for generations.

It’s weird either way, whether keeping on trying for a boy or for a girl.

Someone who has such a strong preference would be better off getting counselling to understand and address the reasons for such a preference, and learn to love the children they have as a complete family.

is this a cultural issues where boys are more valued?

I think it's weird myself. Probably evens up with the woman over the road though who had eight or maybe nine boys before getting the much wanted girl.

Don't Jinx me @ShebaShimmyShake! I'm 39+3 weeks pregnant and need all the luck I can get!

I wonder how they feel if - having tried and tried for a boy (or girl) - the 'required' sex child doesn't live up to their expectations for that sex?

My eldest DD was always VERY ungirly and resisted any attempts to make her 'dress up' or even look vaguely tidy and presentable. Didn't worry me in the least, but if she'd been born into a family who had tried and tried and tried for a girl...would they have been upset about her lack of girliness?

I always feel sorry for the middle kids in this kind of scenario, and just hope that they grow up feeling loved and not like they were a mistake.

A woman in my road once said to my mum how lucky she was to have one of each, because she was still trying for 'her boy'. She ended up having a boy as her third child, then marrying someone else and doing it again! Luckily it was the second child with this other guy, but even so she ended up with 5 children.

To be fair I think she only annoyed me so much because she never worked and was a stay at home mum until the youngest child left for university a few weeks ago. I don't know what she calls herself now, but she's still not working.

YANBU but I think it's pretty common, although people often aren't brazen enough to admit it. There are NHS trusts which will not disclose your baby's sex at the routine scans because there are people who will terminate a female foetus.

Pre-implantation gender selection is illegal in the UK but available in many other countries.

I had a home delivery and it was a long night, midwife and her student were chatting with me (distracting me I suppose) and midwife said she had delivered a 13th baby, a girl with 12 older brothers. She said she wasn't sure if she felt more sorry for the boys who clearly knew they were a disappointment or the little girl who would carry such expectations on her little shoulders.

I have a friend on FB who has 4 sons and then the required daughter. The daughter is dressed up like a little doll, frills, ears pierced etc and there are billions of photos of her all over FB. None of any of the sons. Poor things.

Whats the name of that WAG whose boobs exploded who's now had 4 boys and wants to go to a sex selection clinic to get a girl? Scouse girl.

I'd get my DH a sperm check, personally. Some men can only have children of one sex.

But whatever your motivation - it's selfish in terms of the planet. Two successful pregnancies, or two babies - whichever comes first, should be enough for any family. (Allows for twins/triplets etc)

It won't be the first time.
A neighbour we grew up with had 7 boys until she gave up on the idea of a girl her youngest is 30 now.
Lots of people have an obsessive need to fill they'll go to an extreme length.

I know someone who's finally admitted defeat after 6 boys and is getting sterilised when she has this baby .........I think she's a little selfish as she's a single mum and works part time minimum wage so there's not much to go round. But the kids are happy enough and she has a loving, supportive family so it's up to her.

I grew up in a Scottish farming community with boys very definitely preferred, and I knew several families with several girls then a boy.

I’m now in my 50s and do have an an automatic twitch reaction when I get asked if I have any brothers, especially if the question is in the context of my having grown up on a farm. It’s a loaded question, and the implication is that only males can be farmers. Things, thankfully, are finally improving in terms of sex equality in agriculture.

Too many boys created a different problem.

Heard of more with keeping going for a girl rather than a boy.
In any event 2020 has given us all more shit to stress about this another couple’s reproduction for whatever reason.

As long as all the children are cared for and loved equally then nothing to concern me.

Surely if the parents have this attitude, the younger girls will grow up sensing that they were a disappointment? Very sad.

@ancientgran

I had a home delivery and it was a long night, midwife and her student were chatting with me (distracting me I suppose) and midwife said she had delivered a 13th baby, a girl with 12 older brothers. She said she wasn't sure if she felt more sorry for the boys who clearly knew they were a disappointment or the little girl who would carry such expectations on her little shoulders.

And, of course - this ^

A child needs to be allowed to be their own self, and not carry their burden of a great potential (for any reason) on their little shoulders.

The olden custom of dowries was probably developed to curb this sort of thing ...

WAG whose boobs exploded

!!??

I think it is unfair as you're time poor for attention with so many DC some get lost in the mix.

@ancientgran

I had a home delivery and it was a long night, midwife and her student were chatting with me (distracting me I suppose) and midwife said she had delivered a 13th baby, a girl with 12 older brothers. She said she wasn't sure if she felt more sorry for the boys who clearly knew they were a disappointment or the little girl who would carry such expectations on her little shoulders.

Three babies has wrecked my body. I have flinched just thinking about giving birth thirteen times

I’m expecting DD2 and couldn’t be happier. I’m sure if she’d been a boy I’d be excited to have 1 of each. Our neighbours have 5 boys all 2yrs apart and I’d always assumed they were trying for a girl to be honest but the dad at least (slightly rudely) told me recently he was glad he didn’t have girls as he felt they were more sly or some such nonsense. Guess I don’t know what the mum thinks...

Fairly similar to Albless.

Families hoping to pass on a business tended to want one son and one or more daughters.
2 sons would mean needing to buy another business.
The girls would be encouraged to 'get ahead' and get a nice job like a teacher, nurse or secretary before they got married.