Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out my work colleague on her unacceptable view

263 replies

Marg33t · 27/09/2020 17:19

She posted today on Facebook that she was sick of hearing about the death of one police officer as there's more important things going on and it's a risk they accept.

I've got family members in the force and quite honestly they are hero's doing very difficult work that not many people would do. I can't stand this anti police sentiment. I've got a meeting with her and many others tomorrow afternoon and I'm worried I won't be able to keep my cool. Would it be unreasonable to send her a private message to say how offensive her post was? I want to say nothing, but I m not sure I can

OP posts:
Dollyrocket · 27/09/2020 20:50

I think you probably need to step away from SM if you can’t cope with difference of opinion enough to keep your cool with a work colleague.

PrivateD00r · 27/09/2020 20:50

OP I personally would delete anyone who posted something like that on fb. I agree with you that it was a very unpleasant post.

jdoejnr1 · 27/09/2020 20:50

@thedancingbear

There is an anti-police sentiment in the air

why do you think this is @jdoejnr1?

Pointless discussing on here as opinions appear to be polarised.
amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 27/09/2020 21:08

Whilst I'm sure your family in the police are all gold star heroes, a friend of a friend was recently beaten black and blue by her (now ex) boyfriend. Doctors took photos of the X-Ray showcasing her broken jaw, her bloody mouth on arrival to A&E, strangulation marks round her neck and were subsequently passed on to the police.

The police decided there was "lack of evidence" and her ex-boyfriend walks free and brags about it on Facebook.

The policeman in Croydon didn't deserve what happened to him, of course. But you are biased and warped to think that all police officers are great.

EinsteinaGogo · 27/09/2020 21:13

@thedancingbear

^Do you think a Custody Sergeant should expect to be shot in the line of duty?

Is that not what makes it 'big' news?^

a couple of thousand people die every day in the UK, a significant proportion of them in tragic circumstances, and some of them doing their jobs. None of them deserve to die. No-one should die in a car crash, or falling off scaffolding, or through suicide, or because of an NHS fuck-up, or whatever it is. Yet 99% of these deaths don't become front-page news. Are you suggest that the lives of police officers are worth more than those of all these people?

You are being deliberately obtuse.

I'm suggesting they are more newsworthy because gun crime is rare in the UK (thankfully) and the shooting of a police officer inside a police station is even rarer.

thedancingbear · 27/09/2020 21:16

You are being deliberately obtuse.

I'm really not. I'm not here for a barney or to insult anyone.

Have a good evening.

EmbarrassedUser · 27/09/2020 21:21

Im assuming you mean Andrew Harper? However, isn’t she entitled to her opinion? Why does your opinion trump hers? So dreadfully sad for this man and of course his family but I don’t like people who are so entitled that they feel they have the right to call out others just because their views don’t represent yours.

Yesmate · 27/09/2020 21:21

@amijustparanoidorjuststoned the CPS make decision on evidence. Not the Police.

Those that say “it’s a risk they take when they join” Do you think It it a risk criminals take when they commit crime that they maybe end up hurt or even dead. No, didn’t think so.

Justanotherlurker · 27/09/2020 21:23

Wow, we have ACAB adovacaes posting on MN and we are still pretending that MN is full of ineltectul discussion...

Brefugee · 27/09/2020 21:26

it's a perfectly valid viewpoint. How do you know she doesn't have something in her family that means more to her than the death (no matter how tragic) of a police officer?

Just delete her and move on. If you think you can police what people say, and you think that is acceptable, you're living in the wrong country/century.

Cadent · 27/09/2020 21:27

YABU. I do get annoyed with all the police wives who go up in arms in arms when a tragedy happens.

Matt Ratana's death is very upsetting and I'm very sorry for their family. They will see justice though and you can't stop your colleague having an opinion you disagree with.

Yesmate · 27/09/2020 21:28

@EmbarrassedUser There was a fatal shooting of a Police Officer in a Croydon custody suite 2 days ago. His name was Sgt Matt Ratana.

MinnieMD · 27/09/2020 21:37

Where are the ACAB lot? Not one person has said that.
YABU, whilst the death is tragic so are most deaths. You also describe this person as a colleague and not a friend so I assume you have no idea about their interactions with the police or their opinions.

Brefugee · 27/09/2020 21:38

Wow, we have ACAB adovacaes posting on MN and we are still pretending that MN is full of ineltectul discussion...

on this thread? where?

There isn't. There are two main themes in this thread. One is that anyone who posts anything that is even remotely not "all police officers are heroes" are wrong and should be called out for being utter ungrateful bastards.

And another that says that SM is where we say what's on our mind and that not everyone has the same opinion and that is fine and dandy and if you don't like it, you don't have to read it.

As it happens the Sgt who was shot sounds as though he was an absolutely brilliant bloke and it is a sore loss to the world that he has been killed. But let's not get carried away: most police officers are fine but a few (very few, hopefully) of them are not fit to wear the uniform.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/09/2020 21:48

Just unfollow her
Or defriend
But as a work colleague I’d steer off commenting as I can’t see it ending well

StitchInTimeSavesNine · 27/09/2020 21:51

You can't stand anti-police sentiments so don't have her on your Facebook.

Similarly I can't be doing with all the over the top Aggro on Facebook. Naming and shaming and calling people out and all that jazz. It's madness. People can't have a decent conversation any more. If anybody has a different opinion then it's zero to one hundred in twenty seconds.

ragged · 27/09/2020 21:51

Apart from Twitter where I take a professional profile, I don't have colleagues on my social media. Even colleagues I quite like. I just want a big separation between work & private life.

Cadent · 27/09/2020 21:55

Yep I've seen police officers do some things that are far from heroic and actually quite petty.

It's just annoying that we have to see them all as 'heroes' in case we offend people like OP have police in the family.

None of that takes away from the senseless killing of someone who sounds like a good man and officer.

DizzyPigeon · 27/09/2020 22:18

You can't stand anti-police sentiments so don't have her on your Facebook

Based on what the op has said, there wasn't any anti-police sentiment.

Certainly, that's how some people are taking it, but it sounds like someone fed up with one news story dominating the headlines.

morningtoncrescent62 · 27/09/2020 22:25

She can post what she wants on her own FB page. If you don't like it, don't follow her.

workhomesleeprepeat · 27/09/2020 22:25

This is why I don’t add colleagues on Facebook! No need to see their “outside of work” side. If colleagues ask me if I have Facebook I say it’s just for family etc

Just delete her. It’s not worth potentially getting into trouble at work over a Facebook post

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 27/09/2020 22:27

I don't agree with either of you, which by your standards makes your opinions unacceptable and offensive.

If you're fed up about something stop reading about it, change the setting on your feed etc. Talk about the things that matter to you instead and raise awareness about the issues you feel matter.

And no, not all police officers are heroes. Just like not all soldiers ,nurses,doctors,volunteers,firefighters etc are. The world is full of arseholes ,of people abusing their power,abusing others. Some of those people will have respectable/dangerous/essential jobs. They're still arseholes.

Where do I complain about both of you?

Ethicalbluey45 · 27/09/2020 22:54

i think there will always be people with disgusting views personally i would instantly block her on facebook and just be professional with her but if she does bring up the subject then tell her how you feel. See this as a leopard showing its true colours scenario .

DizzyPigeon · 27/09/2020 23:13

@Ethicalbluey45

What is disgusting about this?

She posted today on Facebook that she was sick of hearing about the death of one police officer as there's more important things going on and it's a risk they accept

Don't we all get fed up hearing the same news stories at times? Don't you think there's more important things happening in the world (not for his friends and family, obviously, but generally speaking)? Do you think police officers go into the job blind to the risks?

What exactly is so disgusting?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 27/09/2020 23:13

Yeah, delete her. She may hold views like that by her timing is a bit off. I doubt you will be the only person to dislike it. Yep it’s all about freedom of expression on social media, but that also has consequences. Probably a few less likes, Facebook friends and vapid validation but not the end of the world to her.