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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To call out my work colleague on her unacceptable view

263 replies

Marg33t · 27/09/2020 17:19

She posted today on Facebook that she was sick of hearing about the death of one police officer as there's more important things going on and it's a risk they accept.

I've got family members in the force and quite honestly they are hero's doing very difficult work that not many people would do. I can't stand this anti police sentiment. I've got a meeting with her and many others tomorrow afternoon and I'm worried I won't be able to keep my cool. Would it be unreasonable to send her a private message to say how offensive her post was? I want to say nothing, but I m not sure I can

OP posts:

CoffeeAndABook · 27/09/2020 17:39

You need to keep work and private life separate. You should step away from your work colleagues on social media.

thedancingbear · 27/09/2020 17:40

I agree with her tbh

You're not allowed. It's 'unacceptable'.

emilyfrost · 27/09/2020 17:40

Of course YABU. She’s allowed her own opinions and viewpoints.

LockdownLump · 27/09/2020 17:40

Yabu. Just because you don't agree with her, it doesn't mean she is instantly wrong.

Not all police are heroes either. Anyone remember the undercover policemen who fathered children with the women they were using to assist their undercover work?

Its ridiculous to say they are all heroic.

I agree they have a tough job and I would not want to see my child joining the force, but it is an individuals choice to take that career path.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 27/09/2020 17:41

YABU to think that your opinion is more valid than hers, however unsavoury hers may be.

Two members of my family are officers and I think highly of the police and the work they do. Others have had less great experiences and feel differently. Their opinions are equally valid and I will always uphold the right to an opinion of anyone who disagrees with me because shutting down opinion includes the potential to shut down my right to an opinion, and I love my opinions.

FixItUpChappie · 27/09/2020 17:43

"Call her out"
*"Unacceptable view"

You've summed up what's going wrong with society. Intolerance, cancel culture, thin skins, a need to jump in.*

^^This exactly IMO

JalapenoDave · 27/09/2020 17:46

No, absolutely don't call her out. I don't agree with what she has said at all but it doesn't make it unacceptable. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 27/09/2020 17:48

She is obviously just it a very pleasant person. I'd delete her and forget about it. If she ever asks you why you deleted her then you can calmly and politely put your point across.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 27/09/2020 17:48

*not a pleasant person. When are MN going to get a bloody edit button?!

Mintjulia · 27/09/2020 17:50

If she didn't raise the issue specifically with you, I think your best move is to unfriend her. Just don't look at her posts.

Then your relationship is strictly professional. Work topics only.

Finfintytint · 27/09/2020 17:50

Her views might be unpopular and of poor timing but there are many who do not care about the death of a police officer on duty. The Police have lost the faith of the community in many areas and we are policed by consent. The community is not consenting to police practices in some areas. Many don’t see us as heroes and I see why.

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/09/2020 17:51

I agree with you OP that her view is offensive.
But you would be unreasonable to message her on it. She is just a colleague and so your relationship is not one of friendship.

frogswimming · 27/09/2020 17:52

Is she your friend or just a colleague? I think it is strange to say being killed is a hazard of the job that should just be accepted. It is tragic if anyone is killed while in the course of their job trying to protect the general public. You could message her to say you found it hurtful as you have relatives in the police, if she's a friend. If she's just a colleague I'd just unfriend her.

CoronaIsWatching · 27/09/2020 17:53

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

She is obviously just it a very pleasant person. I'd delete her and forget about it. If she ever asks you why you deleted her then you can calmly and politely put your point across.

Because these days if you don't agree with someones opinion on a subject you have to delete them. Unfriend them. Scrub them out of your life as much as possible.

squeekums · 27/09/2020 17:53

Ahh who are you OP?
The thought police?

No you shouldnt call her out, she has a valid opinion

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 27/09/2020 17:55

What exactly was so unacceptable and offensive?
Where exactly is the anti police sentiment?

InterviewTerminated · 27/09/2020 17:55

You need to let it go and remain professional.

user12533685436 · 27/09/2020 17:58

No, all police are not heroes. You deserve to be put back in your box for spouting that shit and going around labelling anyone with critical-thinking abilities as "anti-police".

Some of them behave in heroic ways at times, and some of them have multiple misconduct warnings on file. Some are thoughtful and protective, and some of them prey on the vulnerable. Some of them are decent people, and some of them are abusive bullies. Some of them are honest and trustworthy, and some of them are manipulative and deceitful.

Labelling anyone sensible enough not to blindly hero-worship an entire sector of workers as "anti-police" is idiotic and the reason it is easy for the dodgy police officers to get away with harming the vulnerable.

Graphista · 27/09/2020 18:01

I kind of understand where you're coming from op as I have a brother in the service and it's NOT a risk they should have to accept.

However, that said, and even he would say this NOT all police are "heroes" and to place them as such puts an unwelcome burden on them, and fails to recognise that just as in any profession there are those who really shouldn't be in the job unfortunately.

Painting them all as "heroes" makes it easier for those who are far from to get away with unacceptable behaviours.

It's a tragedy for sure and one that shouldn't have happened and I feel heartbroken for all who loved him.

But she is entitled to her opinion.

You are entitled not to like that opinion and remove her from your fb feed but you still have to work with her and getting into an argument about this at work would be foolish.

Keep her at arms length by all means and only deal with her civilly when you have to but maintain your professional behaviour.

Pukkatea · 27/09/2020 18:04

I mean, I can't really stand whataboutism of any kind, regardless of what you think of police I think it's always tasteless to jump in with 'there are more important things you know'.

That said, you would be unreasonable to bring it up. If she mentions it directly to you, just say you don't agree with her views and leave it at that.

Jeschara · 27/09/2020 18:04

Leave it and move on, she is a work colleague, not a friend I hate the view she has expressed but she is entitled to her oppinion
You say you may not be able to stop yourself from saying something. Just exercise self control and behave professionally. You really have nothing to gain calling her out on it.
At best she will say it's my opinion and at worse you will get into a argument, and even worse colleagues taking sides if they have read it, and that will cause a atmosphere. Really best left.

Frenchtoastie · 27/09/2020 18:04

She is entitled to her own opinion, you are being completely unreasonable

Roundtoedshoes · 27/09/2020 18:05

Just block her OP and move on. Her post was ill timed and crude. Don’t waste head space on her.

TheSunIsStillShining · 27/09/2020 18:06

This is exactly the reason people should not friend each other based on working for the same company.

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/09/2020 18:12

Some organisations would be very unhappy to see this sort of post if people can tell who she works for. Do you have a social media policy or one that covers bringing the organisation into disrepute? If so, that the way to take this forward.

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