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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think why this is one of the reasons we have an obesity problem.

665 replies

Delamalama · 27/09/2020 16:37

Friend on facebook has put about 2 stone on this past year. She posted a selfie the other day with a statement saying how she's finally learning to love herself, she may not be perfect but it's her body and she loves it!!! She's on the verge of being obese and suffers with chronic backache. Of course she had comments saying 'looking good hun' 'you beauty!' Etc.

I've noticed quite a lot of younger ones doing this 'be fat and proud' crap.

Am I wrong to think that this along with many other things is why we have an obesity problem.

OP posts:
lunalulu · 27/09/2020 18:14

@Indoctro

I agree . There is nothing to be proud about being overweight.
So ... if you shouldn't be proud, you should be ... ashamed? Horrified? Feel inferior to the successful slim people?

The way to a healthy body weight is self esteem and a realistic but positive body image.

It does annoy me when people make weight a judgemental issue.

I have an amazing body, but it durant make me feel superior. It makes me feel humble.

Happyheartlovelife · 27/09/2020 18:14

@Igotthemheavyboobs

Weirdly. It was usually from complete strangers!!!!

Or it was the first thing when people met me. It was like these strangers nasty comments were going to be able to make me put weight on?!?

I never understood how they thought by asking me how many times I vomited a day to get so thin was going to help

My whole family is skinny. I’m a size 6-8 now. I’m 41. I was just always tiny. Just like some people are big boned.

❤️❤️

ShebaShimmyShake · 27/09/2020 18:14

@Nottheninkynonk

The body positive movement is rooted in misogyny.
How so?
Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 27/09/2020 18:15

@Nottheninkynonk

I see the low carbers have been out in force on this thread
Oh, yeah, don't tell them if you eat bread or are vegetarian or vegan.
Totickleamockingbird · 27/09/2020 18:15

But we need to understand that we are all responsible for our health and our decisions. No hiding. No excuses. We are individually responsible.
Sorry but that is not quite true, is it?
I think NHS should create structured programmes to deal with addictions of all sorts, including food addiction. If it is not working, just like a lot of other conditions, the patient should be responsible for not following the advice and their future, obesity-related issues should not be covered by NHS.
This will deter a lot of smoking-, drinking- and obesity-related problems.
We already do it for a lot of other patients who have genuinely serious problems but lose NHS support. Why do they need NHS less if they can’t follow through advice but obese/alcoholic/drug abuse patients can?
It will save billions for the patients who will genuinely benefit from NHS.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 27/09/2020 18:17

[quote Happyheartlovelife]@Igotthemheavyboobs

Weirdly. It was usually from complete strangers!!!!

Or it was the first thing when people met me. It was like these strangers nasty comments were going to be able to make me put weight on?!?

I never understood how they thought by asking me how many times I vomited a day to get so thin was going to help

My whole family is skinny. I’m a size 6-8 now. I’m 41. I was just always tiny. Just like some people are big boned.

❤️❤️[/quote]
People are so bloody weird. I just can't imagine going out of my way to comment on another person's body.

I hope you told em where to fuck off too! 💜

Happyheartlovelife · 27/09/2020 18:17

[quote Time2change2]@Happyheartlovelife we should all be raising this issue. Not in a personal way of course but the message is just not getting through. Still the levels of obesity is rapidly rising[/quote]
Absolutely!

How do you suggest we do so?

What would you do to combat obesity?

queenofknives · 27/09/2020 18:18

Aw leave her alone. You're supposed to be a friend. Can't you be happy for her that she's happy and she likes herself? That's not easy for a lot of women to do, whatever size they may be. Besides, her weight and her health are not really any of your business, are they?

Original poster
Delamalama · 27/09/2020 18:19

@titsaleena

You sound a bit jealous that she’s getting positive comments from others. Let me guess, is she more attractive than you by any chance?
God no!
OP posts:
WinchesForFinches · 27/09/2020 18:19

Boombong, yes everything. My entire life. I have had to adjust to live permanently on around 1200 calories a day.

I’m not in a my pain anywhere at any time. I have low blood pressure, cholesterol and am very physically fit. For that I am thankful.

But it doesn’t elevate the deep rooted self-hate I have for myself. And trying to keep it hidden from my family is tough.

Goosefoot · 27/09/2020 18:20

No, I don't think this is a cause of the obesity epidemic. More a result, really.

howmanyroads · 27/09/2020 18:20

She's more likely to be healthy if she loves and accepts her body than if she feels shame, guilt or hatred towards it. Either way, it's literally none of your fucking business

randomer · 27/09/2020 18:21

@Kittytheteapot, what on earth are you ranting about? Who on earth are you to tell people they should hate their fat? Absolutely bizarre.

What are you talking about carry on with a fat postive message? Utter nonsense.

I don't think anybody should hate their fat, their hair, their feet , their nails or anything. Just as they shouldn't hate their mistakes, their anger, their frivolity, their failings, their successes. We are human being first and foremost, not just skeletons with fat on.

Eckhart · 27/09/2020 18:22

@Nottheninkynonk

What arguments do you have against low carb?

boomboomg · 27/09/2020 18:22

IMO obesity and being overweight is a lot of the time due to underlying mental health issues.

There is an unhealthy relationship with food and self esteem that needs tackling before the actual food consumption can be.

If you love yourself/ body enough, you wouldn't harm it in such an extreme way IMO

Spiderbaby8 · 27/09/2020 18:22

I always think when I see these conversations that if people really were interested in the health aspect they would look at what works. Shaming very rarely works so why would you want that to happen? Maybe it's more about your disgust than actually caring about someones health.

XingMing · 27/09/2020 18:26

We are all uniquely, solely and individually responsible for each morsel we put in our mouth, chew and swallow. This is true. No one has tried to force me to eat since my great-aunt suggested that I couldn't know I disliked peas at age 2. I didn't like em then, and I prefer not to eat them now.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 18:26

@Happyheartlovelife it’s a difficult one because it crept up on all of us slowly from many different angles and now it’s going to be hard to put it in reverse. We can stop this from progressing further but those in charge need to take action and the general public need to more responsible for their own actions.
If the government can make us all too shit scared to leave our houses in a matter of weeks then it’s entirely possible to change this nations attitude to food and the benefits of being a healthy weight.
Foods we are eating need to change and consumer attitudes needs to change. Fat acceptance and unhealthy food acceptance is sliding so fast though that nothing short of a revolution is going to stop it.
If it becomes frowned upon to hug your friends (and who would ever thought that possible) then is there a way it could become unacceptable to serve and eat crap every day?
I don’t know but if we, as a nation don’t change something soon it’s going to be a disaster in 20 years

lyingwanker · 27/09/2020 18:27

@Igotthemheavyboobs

Why don't you comment this in her wall OP? Just tell her she shouldn't like or love herself coz she is a fat cow.
🤣
Enoughnowstop · 27/09/2020 18:27

I think NHS should create structured programmes to deal with addictions of all sorts, including food addiction. If it is not working, just like a lot of other conditions, the patient should be responsible for not following the advice and their future, obesity-related issues should not be covered by NHS

So punish people? For not conforming? For having had shit in their lives which makes addiction a method of coping? Just provide detox but no support otherwise?

Travis1 · 27/09/2020 18:28

Ok you don’t think it should be ‘celebrated’ 🙄 what would you have her friends do? Ignore her? Say actually love you’re looking a bit chunky? Yeah that’ll really make her see.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 18:28

@howmanyroads it’s literally all of our business. Think of the bigger picture.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/09/2020 18:29

Why is everyone going on about shaming. Op hasn't suggested shaming. Nor did anyone else as far as I've seen. Not being on the "you gawj" wave isn't shaming. Discussing obesity, isn't shaming.

It's actually really interesting to watch where the derogatory comments here come from...

I think that we can all agree obesity is harmful.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 18:29

@XingMing completely agree. So many people making 100 excuses

boomboomg · 27/09/2020 18:29

@Time2change2 I totally agree. If Boris was so bothered about the NHS he would realise obesity is going to cripple it - just as much if not more than covid.

More action need to be taken as sadly people cannot take ownership and responsibility for their food consumption so therefore it has to become a government issue

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