To think why this is one of the reasons we have an obesity problem.

[Delamalama]

Friend on facebook has put about 2 stone on this past year. She posted a selfie the other day with a statement saying how she's finally learning to love herself, she may not be perfect but it's her body and she loves it!!! She's on the verge of being obese and suffers with chronic backache. Of course she had comments saying 'looking good hun' 'you beauty!' Etc.

I've noticed quite a lot of younger ones doing this 'be fat and proud' crap.

Am I wrong to think that this along with many other things is why we have an obesity problem.

Bad

This is an awful awful thread! What I don’t understand is that our health sector is shouting at the top of their voices that we have a huge obesity problem is this country. Huge portion sizes in terms of calories and booze on top of it! It costs billions for NHS to tackle the whole situation as best as they can.
Same goes for everything else when it comes to mental health. I have seen people eat twice the portion size they should, get all sorts of health troubles a few years down the line and complaining constantly that they can’t lose weight. They have never been to their GP, they have never given up on the food and they never do exercise either.
When they showed me their diagnosis, I realised how much I disliked them and we are no longer friends.

@Happyheartlovelife we should all be raising this issue. Not in a personal way of course but the message is just not getting through. Still the levels of obesity is rapidly rising

[quote boomboomg]@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble that being overweight/obese is not something to be proud of.

Imagine I was an alcoholic or drug addict and proud. Do you think people would support me and say I should stay that way and carry on loving me for me irrespective of how it's driving me to an early grave?

Or do you think people would tell me I'm deluded and I should get help?

[/quote]
Well I believe that making you see you are a person who is worth love and respect. I think this would be more beneficial to any recovery long term than just telling you you are an alchie and should be disgusted with yourself.

Which route do you think will have a better effect?

It's the whole "real women/woman " thing that pisses me off. Being overweight does not make you a real woman ffs. It's just that you're fatter than other women. No more a real woman at size 16 then at size 6.

Being fat isn't good.
Choice or not.
It shouldn't be acceptable.

I can't help thinking that these people who moan about fat acceptance etc just don't want to be nice to fat people.

oh give it up. Why should be accept fat?

Why should we accept smokers, addicts of any kind, pat them on the back and say that you are wonderful as you are hun?

Why can I say about someone: smoking is bad for you without being called a Smoker-shamer, but I can't say the same about being overweight?

The world is not against fat people, no need to pretend to be a martyr because people have an opinion. I bet you are one of those who think it's ok to tell someone they are exercising too much

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's the whole "real women/woman " thing that pisses me off. Being overweight does not make you a real woman ffs. It's just that you're fatter than other women. No more a real woman at size 16 then at size 6.

that!

and skinny women are just as real as any woman.

It’s complicated.

I’m a “recovering” obese person. I’ve lost 5 stone over the past year. My BMI is 26, although all other metrics are now “healthy”.

For all the complex social and psychological factors, the only real power any of us have is choice. The choice to eat that, or not eat it. The choice to exercise, or not exercise. The choice to change, sustainably and determinably, or not.

Choices, choices, a million choices.

My remaining obese would have been a choice. Many choices, every day.

Obesity is nothing to be proud of, nothing to celebrate. But likewise nothing to be ashamed of. Shame is pointless and corrosive.

But we need to understand that we are all responsible for our health and our decisions. No hiding. No excuses. We are individually responsible.

@Totickleamockingbird

Oh. I completely agree. Though not sure alcoholism and obesity are in the same catagory

What I’m saying is. Do we have to be nasty about it? Do we have to say

Oh. Fuck me. The size of her. She’ll cost our NHS a fortune. Fat Fucker.

One huge Problem is the food

Baked beans did a test where they tried to take out the sugar content in their food. 100% of people said they wouldn’t buy it. Not even 90. It was the full lot

So they didn’t. For many years. Because people would of stopped buying them.

But thanks for this view. I love a good debate. You’ve brought up a very good point.

No, when she put the lost weight post she didn't get nearly as many likes or comments.

People might have commented more on a post about loving herself because it's a nice sentiment. I doubt they were saying, go on and put more weight on? You think as a society we celebrate fat more than thin? Billion dollar weight loss industry says otherwise and there is huge pressure to be slim. A couple of plus size models and some fringe activists doesn't mean the pendulum has swung the other way.

What do you suggest her friends say instead?

@Graphista

Don’t forget. Steroids also make you metabolise sugar differently. Hence why carb heavy diets aren’t good for people on high steroid doses. ❤️

*Well I believe that making you see you are a person who is worth love and respect. I think this would be more beneficial to any recovery long term than just telling you you are an alchie and should be disgusted with yourself.

Which route do you think will have a better effect?*

I actually agree to an extent - self esteem is important as if you feel worthless then you're not going to see the worth in fixing the problem.

But my point is obesity should be on the same category as drug addiction, alcoholism and any other addiction for that matter.

They are all forms or self harm and coping mechanisms and all will kill you if you consume too much.

Obesity and being overweight is glossed over and people are made to tip toe around and make people feel as if there is no problem.

People would have no problem pointing out I'm a druggie if I'm a druggie. People have no problem telling me if I'm an alchie that I'm an alchie.

People WOULD have a problem telling me I'm fat if I am fat though?

I’m a size 14/16 and am 5’9 (Bigger when pregnant!) I have extremely painful large breasts and I suffer from mild (at the moment) lipodema. I’ve ran marathons this size. I’ve found it impossible to lose weight. Or at least I do but in the wrong places. I’ve been this “obese” for my whole life yet I’ve had a size 28 inch waist.

I absolutely hate myself. I’m constantly depressed about my appearance, I have no self esteem. I’ve been on every single diet going my whole life and I can’t get smaller than at the very smallest a 14.

In my darkest moments I look at myself in g to be mirror and I tell myself how worthless and pathetic I am. I also occasionally hit myself. I know I’m worthless OP. Your friend nor anyone else deserve to ever feel about theirselves how I do about myself. I’d do anything to change this frame of mind and accept myself because I know my body can’t physically change. Living this never ending train of thought is absolute torture and sometimes I’m afraid of where it’ll end.

Please try to remember that when you criticise others.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's the whole "real women/woman " thing that pisses me off. Being overweight does not make you a real woman ffs. It's just that you're fatter than other women. No more a real woman at size 16 then at size 6.

Funny that you are the only person to being this up on tbia thread though.

No one else has said it, including the woman the original op was talking about.

Just another stick to start beating fat women with, 'but sir, we can be cunts about fat women because they said I wasn't a real woman!'

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's the whole "real women/woman " thing that pisses me off. Being overweight does not make you a real woman ffs. It's just that you're fatter than other women. No more a real woman at size 16 then at size 6.

What am I? I have no kids (not a real woman), but I am obese ( a real woman)🤔

No. It's because we're being mislead by the authorities into eating the wrong foods. Obesity started rising when they started telling us to eat 'low fat', in the 80s.

adc.bmj.com/content/90/10/999

I do think some people look good overweight. However, obesity kills , and its effects are a particularly nasty way to die.
To me telling people that they look good overweight basically means encouraging them to kill themselves.

The body positive movement is rooted in misogyny.

I used to be extremely thin, I'm now (post 4 kids and with a sugar and wheat intolarance) what most people would say normal, size 12, 9stone 7 lbs. I am five foot 4. I definitely hate my gut but have only lost it through almost totally giving up carbs and not eating after a certain time in the even ing and to be honest it makes you beyond miserable. Weight is so easy to put on and so bloody difficult to come off and I had a chat with my friend one night who was aghast I was so set on getting back to my former shape. She asked me which life I preferred, life with treats (it doesn't take much to put me over) or life where I stopped eating at a certain time and sat writing (am an author) or reading or watching tv with my stomach rumbling. I can see why people let go or give up, it's bloody hard and to be honest it is a miserable existance (dieting all the time).

@WinchesForFinches I have every sympathy for you - have you seen a doctor? Have you really and truly hand on heart investigated every possible reason for your inability to lose weight? Are you really being true to yourself about what you're consuming and how much exercises you're doing? Have you tried therapy?

I see the low carbers have been out in force on this thread

Horrible thread YABU. Shame is toxic and doesn't fuel anything positive (more likely to binge eat etc)..accepting who you are and the learning to make good choices for your body works. Incidentally we can't decide who's healthy and who isn't from looking, quit with the judgement because you just don't know.

What are you so angry?

Think it's shitty behaviour to slag a so-called friend off on a huge site like this to validate one's own views and exert some sort of superiority over them instead of telling them to their face what you really think of them is 'so angry'? What kind of a twat excuse for a 'friend' does this? And no, I'm nowhere near fat or obese. I think it's two-faced AF to keep a person you think so little of as a 'friend' and use them to slag them off elsewhere online.