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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let 3 year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend?

439 replies

GoldBar · 26/09/2020 08:02

Would you let your three year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend while you read upstairs in bed? With the video monitor on to keep an eye and some cereal and milk?

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/09/2020 08:13

Why read in bed rather than on the sofa in the room where the child is? Get comfy with a blanket and pillow?

Napqueen1234 · 26/09/2020 08:14

I think it’s different pottering around the house doing stuff than being in be watching a monitor. If I got up and made breakfast put the telly on etc I don’t really see the point in going back and getting in bed?

Aquicknamechange2019 · 26/09/2020 08:14

My 3 year old is downstairs watching TV with her 6 year old brother right now. I'm fine with that, as I've just been down to check on them. They're snuggled together under a blanket, v sweet.

I think it depends on the 3 year old and your house layout, but I wouldn't leave a small child unsupervised with food.

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey · 26/09/2020 08:15

No. How can you read and watch the video monitor at the same time? If something happened, sods law means it would happen at a point when you aren't watching the video monitor.

Original poster
GoldBar · 26/09/2020 08:16

3 year old is not destructive. Can hear everything from the bedroom anyway. They play a lot better by themselves without an adult in the room.

OP posts:
Disappointedkoala · 26/09/2020 08:16

No. If you're sat in bed watching a monitor, you might as well just get up and lie on the sofa with a coffee.

Rocinante39 · 26/09/2020 08:16

How things have changed.

I was less adventurous than my brother. When he was 4 and a half he rode his bike to school on his own. It was about a mile on a quiet road. It was the 1970s.

Imapotato · 26/09/2020 08:17

No. It’s too young.

Ohalrightthen · 26/09/2020 08:17

@022828MAN

For all the ones saying no, do you have you 3 year olds with you at all times then?! Genuinely curious as DH works long hours so I'm often cooking, cleaning, upstairs, downstairs with DD 3yrs entertaining herself in a different room. I can always hear her and shout to check she's okay but what do you consider an inappropriate amount of time to be left alone? How do you think single parents manage?
I think the difference is that you're up and pottering around, able to pop in and out, with your child in easy distance. That seems completely reasonable and safe, to me, as well as probably pretty good for developing an independent child!

OP is talking about being upstairs, in bed, with her child completely alone on a different floor. The chances of her falling asleep, or not noticing silent mischief on the monitor, are pretty high. Also, the child is alone for an hour or more, no "head round the door" or call out every 10 minutes or so, just kid-by-self, and an hour is a long time at 3. I just think it's a little young for that much solo time, under those circumstances.

Keeva2017 · 26/09/2020 08:19

I think an hour is a bit long at that age although saying that my baby likes to nap upstairs in the day so when I need 10 minutes to put her down, if my 3 year old is watching tv and looks settled, il quickly leave her to put baby down and I don’t have a monitor.

This is occasionally though and I don’t like doing it. I do know that sometime she notices I’m not there and immediately comes to find us.

Marmite27 · 26/09/2020 08:20

My 5 year old yes, 3 year old not a chance.

funnyoldonion · 26/09/2020 08:20

No

Ohalrightthen · 26/09/2020 08:21

@Rocinante39

How things have changed.

I was less adventurous than my brother. When he was 4 and a half he rode his bike to school on his own. It was about a mile on a quiet road. It was the 1970s.

Yes, parents did a great deal of really stupid things with their small children in the past. My grandma remembers having "small beer" with dinner when she was 8. Thankfully, we all know a lot better now.
MaggieFS · 26/09/2020 08:21

No.

GameSetMatch · 26/09/2020 08:21

No, what if the child choked it only takes a minute, little toys are always put in the mouth even at three, I wouldn’t risk it. Can’t you read on the sofa with a blanket?

StoneColdBitch · 26/09/2020 08:22

My child is a bit younger and will happily entertain himself for about an hour at a time as long as he has toys (though if he wales up before us, he plays in his room rather than downstairs).

As long as the room is child-proofed I think this is fine.

StoneColdBitch · 26/09/2020 08:22

*wakes

mocktail · 26/09/2020 08:25

It depends on the child. I did when dd was that age, and without using a monitor. Everyone has a different perception of risk.

missyB1 · 26/09/2020 08:25

Getting up early and not having lie ins is part and parcel of having young kids I’m afraid. Don’t leave a 3 year old unsupervised for that length of time, a video monitor is not a replacement for you.

Kungfupanda67 · 26/09/2020 08:25

I can’t believe the number of people saying no - my husband and I are still in bed and have just commented that it’s so nice now that our youngest can entertain herself for a while in the mornings... she’s 20 months 😂 she’s just got back into bed with us to read books but she’s been up since 7 playing downstairs

Badbanana · 26/09/2020 08:26

No.

Just some of the reasons:

Choking (on food or toys - it’s silent, if you slip back in to sleep there would be no noise to alert you)

Climbing on and falling off furniture (or horrifically pulling something and ending up crushed under it like a tv/bookcase etc)

Playing with something they shouldn’t, like electric sockets/cables/turning on hobs.

But if you don’t really like having a three year old then carry on neglecting them I guess.

TheRuleofStix · 26/09/2020 08:26

@Ohalrightthen I don’t agree they were stupid. It was a different time. All kids played out at that age and there was far less traffic so risks were much smaller. I played in the street and at the nearby park with friends and siblings from the age of 5.

Parents over supervise nowadays. Kids need to learn independence and many have few if no independent skills even by secondary school (I’m a teacher).

Having said all that, 3 is too young!

CulturallyAppropriatedName · 26/09/2020 08:27

My eldest, no. My youngest, at the nearly 4 end, yes. Partly because she was much more sensible and partly because her elder bro was around and they would just sit and watch TV.

We had a telly in our room for a long time; the kids would pile in and watch Milkshake on weekend mornings whilst we dozed. Now only the dog comes to see us in the morning . Wistful.

Nikori · 26/09/2020 08:27

I agree that 3 is too young and an hour is too long.

As a lone parent, my daughter used to follow me everywhere anyway.

luckystarmaking · 26/09/2020 08:28

If watching with the monitor then I would check every 15 minutes. Then again, I don't see how a 3 year old would play alone for 1 hour by themselves unless they've got the TV on.

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