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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let 3 year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend?

439 replies

GoldBar · 26/09/2020 08:02

Would you let your three year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend while you read upstairs in bed? With the video monitor on to keep an eye and some cereal and milk?

OP posts:
TheDuchessofMalfy · 27/09/2020 20:06

Another yabu

I wouldn’t leave them alone with food for one thing.

3 is too young to be up on their own imo. I let my 6 yo get up and watch tv but only started this year (since lockdown really) and he doesn’t really like an early breakfast, he’d rather wait a bit. It’s a job to get breakfast down him for school!

My 11 yo gets up and has breakfast when she wants, and she’s the earliest riser naturally. So he’s not even the only one up if he gets up before me, even if they aren’t interacting (which they won’t be!).

gingganggooleywotsit · 27/09/2020 20:11

no are you bonkers op?

LovelyIssues · 27/09/2020 20:11

No way

S0upertrooper · 27/09/2020 20:19

When my DS was 3 he was playing in the living room and I was on the sofa watching TV. I was exhausted, nodded off and he unlocked the front door, took himself outside, out the gate and along the pavement of a busy road.

A very kind elderly gentleman walked DS home and woke me up by knocking on the window.

I would have sworn he wasn't the kind of kid who would have done that and to this day, he's now 26, have no idea why. My stomach turns every time I think of it. I was an attentive mum, it was just one of those things.

I'd probably read downstairs, maybe in another room if you need some space.

Idontbelieveit12 · 27/09/2020 20:23

No way. Put some toys in your bedroom and they can play there. My 3yo watches YouTube on my phone in my bed if he gets up ridiculously early.

Bobbi73 · 27/09/2020 20:27

My friends 3 year old choked on a small toy. Had we not been there, she would have died.
It's too much of a risk at that age. My two are now aged 6 and 10 and they go down, make breakfast and put the TV on while I get a lie in. It's great but I wouldn't have done it when they were little.

skodadoda · 27/09/2020 20:42

@Rocinante39

How things have changed.

I was less adventurous than my brother. When he was 4 and a half he rode his bike to school on his own. It was about a mile on a quiet road. It was the 1970s.

Too right! I walked to school alone when I was 5, in the 1950s.
Frokni · 27/09/2020 20:51

You know your 3 year old OP. I wouldn't mind as we have little playroom downstairs and my 5 year old is there too and can turn on TV and access the all-important Puppy Dog Pals. They are quiet when they are content and vocal when not so I can easily do all my upstairs tasks while they are downstairs BUT I have never kicked back and done anything relaxing. I would risk falling asleep if I read my book. It's personal choice really. Maybe don't leave them with food?
Good luck!

Stephenfrylust · 27/09/2020 20:57

I will let my 3yo play in a different room to me if I'm cleaning and tidying. I would check on her regularly. Tbh though my 2 children rarely leave me alone. There is no way she would go downstairs in the morning without me. I would set up some toys and read on the sofa or bed though.

dramaticpenguin · 27/09/2020 21:19

Depends on your downstairs! If you have a safe space, no access to sharps or oven then yes, especially if you can hear them.

whatkatydid2013 · 27/09/2020 21:20

My youngest was a 3 year old until less than 4 weeks ago and she’s now in reception full time. Sure at this age she can still be a bit impulsive but I generally feel safer leaving her to her own devices for a while than her 6 year sister. She usually gets up after 7 but has been known to get up, go downstairs, get her breakfast and then settle down to watch cartoons at 5 or 6 in the morning & not even wake us up so she’s been downstairs for over an hour alone while we were still asleep. Do people generally lock their 3 year olds in their rooms or something? If not what do you do if they just wake up first & decide to explore?

jblue2018 · 27/09/2020 21:28

To all the people saying a 3 year old should be constantly supervised - genuine question ! As my LG will be in a bed soon as opposed to a cot. What about when she wakes up in the morning, gets out of bed and plays in her room? What if I don’t hear her because she’s playing? The room is childproofed with a stair gate on the door but there are small toys etc !

FarAway · 27/09/2020 21:48

@Jeeperscreepers69 I am blessed to have two children. One I would say was a sensible 3 year old. Didn't take risks, deep thinker, assessed dangers, always asked about things they weren't sure of. The other was not a sensible 3 year old. They climbed on everything, put everything in their mouth, then tested all boundaries without any thought of consequences. Not all 3 year olds would get up to mischief when left alone for a while - in another room, with access to their parent at all times.

whatkatydid2013 · 27/09/2020 21:48

That was my thought too. Our youngest learnt to climb out of the cot before she turned 2 so we moved her to a bed. She could open and climb over a stairgate round the same time so we just practiced lots how to go up/down stairs and at just turned 4 she basically goes where she likes most of the time now. My eldest never slept in a cot at all. She co-slept with us till she was 2 & then went into a double bed with a stairgate. She’s been fairly free to roam since she was 3. If it helps any OP the school love our two and how capable and independent they are so it clearly has done them some good along the way.

Blueink · 27/09/2020 21:50

Too young - and with food is a choking hazard.

tigerlilly22 · 27/09/2020 21:57

Can't believe people think this is an ok thing to do tbh. Not a chance would I do or have I ever done this. Far far too young to be left unsupervised IMO.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 27/09/2020 22:06

@tigerlilly22. I agree. There really are some silly people. Yes lets leave a 3 yr old with cereal and toys while im in bed!!! Knock knock its social services

whatkatydid2013 · 27/09/2020 22:11

@tigerlilly22

Can't believe people think this is an ok thing to do tbh. Not a chance would I do or have I ever done this. Far far too young to be left unsupervised IMO.
So do/did you lock your 3 year old in their rooms or something? If not what do/did you do if they just wake up before you & decide to go downstairs? I appreciate it’s a slightly different question to letting them do it on purpose but actually if you are worried about them being alone it would be worse as you wouldn’t even be keeping an eye on the monitor. What did people do in lockdown too? Ours more or less bad free rein of the house. Poor monkeys were fed up enough not getting to see their grandparents/friends without forcing them to be in the room with us trying to be quiet whenever we were both in calls together
thisusernameismine · 27/09/2020 22:17

My two year old is pretty independent so I'd say yes!

MovingFarFarAway · 27/09/2020 22:26

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notdaddycool · 27/09/2020 22:38

3 year old (nearly 4) was downstairs alone whilst we worked on Friday. I just about trust him but happier when his big brother is with him.

Callaird · 27/09/2020 22:42

As a nanny who has been looking after children for 34 years, I have learnt that all children are totally unpredictable.

Almost 3 year old, very compliant and predictable, slept 7pm-8am without fail - climbed out of bed, went down stairs, pushed his high chair to the front door, grabbed keys from hook on the back door, unlocked front door and ‘drove’ mums car, she had only it a few days, never had a car before, charge loved ‘driving’ it. Had never left bed until mum or I went in. Didn't get up alone again for a good couple of years. Neighbour saw 3 year old in the car and knocked the door at 6am.

3 1/2 year - again very predictable, rule follower, put the new, totally adored kitten in the washing machine, shut the door, turned on machine, dad was in the shower when the water went cold so went to investigate, managed to get kitty out, child had been colouring in dad’s bedroom and painted the cat, thought dad would be cross so washed him!

15 month old twins - mum went to the bathroom, twins in the playroom, twin 1 got on his hands and knees, twin 2 climbed on his back and climbed over the stair gate and got a low stool pushed against the gate, twin 1 put their feet through the gate, climbed onto step and twin 2 pulled twin 1 over the gate. Opened the fridge and started eating a pack of ham. Mum had come back in time to watch the climbing over but wanted to see what happened. Twin 2 was a lazy arse, wasn’t walking, barely crawled, sat Buddha like chewing toys waiting for food!

3 year old - mum was in the garden hanging out washing, 3 year was watching tv, eyes glued, mum came back in to see child with a knife in the toaster, had climbed over gate, put some bread in the toaster then tried to get it out again.

When I was 2 and a half my 3 month old brother was asleep in the garden in his silver cross coach pram, I took him for a walk on the road outside our house, thankfully it was a very quiet road but it was also a 60 mph, winding country road! Luckily a neighbour saw and took us back home, there were 8 houses, set back at least 15 metres from the road and all houses had the kitchen at the back of the house and the front rooms were for special occasions (Christmas, Coronations and Jubilees!)

So I have learned that you just cannot trust young children no matter how well behaved they are. They watch and learn and then do something you completely don’t expect. Hopefully things will work out ok, you’ll have a bit of a cry and squeeze them tight but it doesn’t always end well.

SarahAndQuack · 27/09/2020 22:50

@caillard, was none of that child proofed? Shock

Nigglenaggle · 27/09/2020 22:57

I wouldn't let him eat alone as id be worried about choking. Otherwise totes yes

elenacampana · 27/09/2020 23:00

It’s absolutely fine if you trust your child OP. Crack on and enjoy some me time.