To let 3 year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend?

[GoldBar]

Would you let your three year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend while you read upstairs in bed? With the video monitor on to keep an eye and some cereal and milk?

hell no! my child is wild and if he wakes at 04.30.am then I get up with him
.its not safe!

It depends on your DC. We did this from around age 2. But I could hear them all the time and I knew they wouldn’t move from the sofa. I didn’t let them eat anything alone.

They’re 12 and 8 now.

@Kungfupanda67

I can’t believe the number of people saying no - my husband and I are still in bed and have just commented that it’s so nice now that our youngest can entertain herself for a while in the mornings... she’s 20 months 😂 she’s just got back into bed with us to read books but she’s been up since 7 playing downstairs

@Kungfupanda67

I don't think that is a helpful joke on this thread

It always sort of makes me feel they have just been ignored a lot or not often played with actively*

This is ridiculous. Do you not think an important skill for kids to learn to be able to occupy themselves and be independent?

It is not healthy to entertain a child every minute of every waking day IMO.

Also. OP has a monitor? Children are left to sleep alone with monitors for a reason and they can still choke? Is it bad for a child to sleep at night in another room?

Honestly, some of these responses are so silly

No. My Mother did this when my brother was 3 and whilst it worked well for a little bit and allowed her to have a lie in he ended up having an accident- he recovered fine but it definitely would have been avoided if an adult had been in the room at the time. She swapped it to napping on the couch in the mornings after that.

I would not leave an under 3 alone for any length of time, but surely this partly also depends on the size /layout of the house? We have a reasonably big 3 storey house... If I go all the way upstairs I can't hear what's happening in the kitchen, so I don't leave them there... But in a smaller house or flat surely children can be left as you can see/hear them even from another room /upstairs?

@Fedupoftheworld what is it sowcifically that makes you think some of the people here should have their kids taken off them?

I'm a pretty laid back parent, but 20 months is still a baby! You cannot trust a baby to not do something that could harm them.

My 5yr old is allowed to go downstairs and watch tv in the morning and can help himself to brioche and a drink thats left in the fridge for him. My 3yr old has to play in her bedroom if im still in bed but once im up and in the shower she can go downstairs with her brother, my 2yr old stays upstairs with me until i go down.

Ths 3 and 5yr old go up and down the stairs all day unsupervised but the 2yr old only goes up if i go with her mostly because she has no need to be up there alone and will get up to mischief but none of them were allowed to use stairs alone at 1.

@boomboomg thank you! Positive risk taking is something missing in this generation because of over supervision.

On the stairs issue, when we moved in my assessment was it was safer to teach my toddler to manage stairs than it was to have a stair gate because of how to stairs are laid out it was really dangerous for my 3 year old who could have very easily tripped over the bar at the bottom and fallen. Risk assessing. It’s a skill.

@Badbanana that list of tragic accidents are really sad. How many children do you think are injured or die in traffic accidents each year? Did you know that we have a massive suicide epidemic in this country among teenagers? Did you know that studies have linked mental health issues with a lack of ability and opportunity to take risks, leading to a lack of self belief and confidence. I don’t expect you to all suddenly let your toddlers climb stairs, but consider for a minute that we haven’t always had stair gates. Not letting a 3 year old walk up the stairs is ridiculous - how do they climb ladders at the park? How do they know that they are capable?

I’m not some sort of scummy parent who lays in bed hungover neglecting their children. I work with teenagers and young parents, and a big part of our work in encouraging and facilitating positive risk taking. What could happen, what is likely to happen? My daughter COULD fall down the stairs and seriously hurt herself, it’s LIKELY that she will be fine, and even if she falls she will LIKELY be fine.

Of course a 3 year old is fine playing downstairs on their own, as long as you are within earshot and popping down occasionally so they know that you’re there if they need you.

No I would not allow this. My three year old is able to climb on to the kitchen worktop. He has hurt himself on a few occasions when I've been downstairs, so if I wasn't around this could end in disaster. I wouldn't let my 6 and 4 year olds do this either.

@FuckHim

I am appalled at a 20 month old climbing up and down stairs unsupervised though! DS is 3 and knows he has to wait for an adult to follow him before going up or down.

My son is nearly 2 and we have stair gates. Not a chance in hell I’d not have them. We let him go up stairs himself when we are directly behind him, but no way unsupervised. He’s big into climbing and “jumping” off things, lord knows what he’d do with free reign of the stairs!

I think it depends on what side of 3. Just barely 3, no probably not. The older end of 3 and about to start school soon, yes, mine would watch tv downstairs (no video monitor) for an hour or so with a cup of milk. I trust they are no more likely to kill themselves then than they would be watching tv in the other room with me making dinner.

Yes I would definetly if he would be up for it. He would shout me if he needed.

I feel like he would make a big mess mind but our home is a safe environment and I trust him to not do anything massively stupid

@Crystal why not your 6 year old?

No.

The expression Snowflake says a lot more about the user than the person it’s supposed to apply to.

I totally would and always have. My kids at that age would quite happily sit and watch the telly or play Lego with some yogurt and cereal while I read in bed/ had a long shower whatever. I wouldn’t even use the monitor if I’m honest!

@Badbanana you seem to be projecting quite a bit on this thread, if something traumatic has happened for you it may be wise to step away.
Otherwise cut out the snarky language. Just because someone else assesses risk differently to you, or (shock horror) has a different opinion doesn't make them wrong. The unpleasant comments might make you feel better but they're not actually adding to the conversation.

No. But he wouldn’t stay down there on his own anyway! At the weekends if we want a bit of lay in we put him in with us and put the TV on for him. He loves a cuddle !

I leave my youngest to play in her room sometimes and have done since she was 3, maybe a little before then. I know her bedroom is the safest place for her to be (not that the other rooms are unsafe) and she can't get up to much mischief in there. I'll pop in and out to check on her

Not if she'd been anything like my dsis, she got into all sorts of mischief, as a 6 yr old it didn't occur to me that my 2 yr dsis would climb on a small table from the bed and hit her head on an old gas jet. Dad was sitting at the table with us, listening to me reading with my dsis drawing, except she got down, sat on the floor and cut a pattern in the table cloth with scissors, she was 3.

Yes, parents did a great deal of really stupid things with their small children in the past. My grandma remembers having "small beer" with dinner when she was 8. Thankfully, we all know a lot better now.

haha. Every generation regards its predecessors stupid and itself so much more wise.

You have to love the usual extremes that pop up

A 1 1/2 baby left alone for an hour, who does that? of course it's not safe.

But to reassure the poster who think a 3 year old playing independently for 30 minutes, it's perfectly NORMAL. How do you think people manage to get anything done?

I would't stay in bed for an hour, that very weird and sound just selfish. But with a 3 year old, surely you have child-proofed the house enough that you can pop in the toilets or the shower, and just get on with general chores whilst they are playing in the house somewhere. It just doesn't feel right to just ignore them for an hour, which is different than showing them you both do your own things but you are around.

@Badbanana that list of tragic accidents are really sad. How many children do you think are injured or die in traffic accidents each year? Did you know that we have a massive suicide epidemic in this country among teenagers?

And what, @Kungfupanda67, has any of that got to do with the fact that in your house two grown adults can not be arsed to get up, even when awake, to supervise a 20 month old?

Whoppie for you that you work with teenagers, doesn’t make you NoT a lazy parent.

We didn’t always have stair gates no, and we didn’t always have car seats either. No excuse, we had to have stair gates made and drilled in to our property as it was impossible to get normal ones to fit. You just couldn’t be bothered.

‘Risk assessment’ seems to be a phrase coined by lazy neglectful parents to say ‘Oh I don’t have to control these things that I can, because it might not happen and look these things are worse’.

I wish every luck to your dc, to have not one but TWO feckless parents who can’t be asked to supervise them properly at the age of 1 is a hardship.