To let 3 year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend?

[GoldBar]

Would you let your three year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend while you read upstairs in bed? With the video monitor on to keep an eye and some cereal and milk?

No, I think it’d be lonely for them. It’s mean.

Surely that depends on the child? Some children like playing alone, others hate it. If this child doesn't like it, can't they just stay where they are or go and find their parent and snuggle up in bed with them?

If this child doesn't like it, can't they just stay where they are or go and find their parent and snuggle up in bed with them?

Yes, I mean I'm not locking them downstairs and closing the stairgate. They can stay in their bed or come into our room. It's just that if they want to play with the doll's house, happyland, train track, cars or other big toys (rather than do puzzles or read), they have to go downstairs. Sometimes, DC does prefer to read in our bed or in the chair in our room (we have lots and lots and lots of DC's books in our room as there's no space for them anywhere else).

I dont see a problem. My parents let us downstairs at that age. They plugged the TV in and left us to it

I would but my three year old wouldn't do it.

But I've got stair gates blocking off the kitchen so they could only go in to the childproofed front rooms.

I'd walk them down the stairs too. By which point I would probably just give up and go down anyway

Why would you be doing this? Surely you can read when they’re in bed? I’m a fairly relaxed parent, but when they’re that age, you have to look after them and realise that ‘you time’ happens when they sleep. I have an 11 year old and get plenty of ‘me time’ now. When she was that age I got up and looked after her, regardless if I was sick, hungover, tired etc etc. I was also a single parent, so completely understand the relentlessness, but that’s life.

Not judging you at all op, it's your child, you do what's best for you.
I wouldn't leave my 3yo alone for that amount of time though, even if I did shout down to see he was ok, I'd end up going down to a bomb site by the time I'd had my rest.

I did this all the time from when DS was probably younger than 3. YANBU.

How can you read and watch the monitor at the same time? Surely it's more relaxing to sit downstairs in the same room with them than trying to keep an eye on a monitor and read at the same time?

I really don’t see a problem with it. My kids are all grown up now but when they were little they would go downstairs without waking me a lot of the time and in those days stair gates weren’t really a thing, let alone monitors. They used to play until they were hungry and then I would be woken up. Nothing bad happened, except my youngest liked pulling all of the carefully ironed clothes out of the drawers and leave them in a big pile!

No too young.
Put her in bed with you and pop CBeebies on and you can read your book.

I have a 5 and a 3 year old and I let them play unsupervised in another room all the time. How else did parents manage during lockdown? There were plenty of times when dh and I would have meetings at the same time and our children would be in a different room to us.

I wouldn’t leave them alone to eat but our children enjoy the space from us too. There have been a number of times when I’ve popped my head around the door to check up on them and been met with ‘please can I play on my own Mammy?’.

During lockdown we actually had to carve out time for our 5 year old to be alone in his own bedroom playing because he wanted space from everyone. He would sit there and read alone and then come back out when he felt he wanted company again.

I think it’s absolutely fine for children to have healthy boundaries of personal space. We also eat as a family everyday and have regular board games and family walks or activities. I am someone who likes being around others a lot and my children are too but they also like some space sometimes and we all have to respect this, even if they are young.

No chance
And we have a 3 year old 😂

Nope. Read your book downstairs

You're clearly very comfortable with it & don't feel there is a risk... Why did you ask?

No. It's too young to be left unsupervised.

If you're reading you are not looking at the monitor and that's not taking into account bathroom trips.

Take your book downstairs or put 3 year old in bed with you with the ipad on.

Definitely not.
True story below
A mum left box of assorted buttons in a thick plastic box next to halogen hob. Let's 3 Yr old go downstairs. Child decides sausage sandwich would be a good breakfast and puts hob on and tries to find sausage.....skip two hours mum n child had to be rescued & social services called.
Extreme example but still too risky... Like others have said maybe 5 or 6 Yr old though personally we just had things to amuse in their bedroom.
Oh...an eg from an old neighbour that did it....got up everything OK...went to pop a video tape in machine for their ds to watch Snow White couldn't as there was already a jam sandwich jammed in.

I'd say it's fine if it's a child-friendly room, your child is a sensible 3 year old, and you're not sleeping. I wouldn't allow food and drink while unsupervised though, due to choking risks which would need an instant response, and may not easily be noticed straight away through a monitor.

No, I would sit in the same room and read my book.

No. You cant be a part time parent. What if there was a choking episode or a accident. Hospital would be on the bat phone to social services. O mum was up Stairs in bed. Really think about what your saying.

@faraway. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Sensible 3 yr old. Thats hilarious.

You can't parent your child through a monitor.
I was a single parent to a toddler twice and we went everywhere together.
I read plenty (magazines and books) but while I was in the same room as them. Only time we were apart was when they were in childcare for me to work, or when they were asleep.

@BillywilliamV

Get a blanket and a pillow and camp out on the couch, its what I used to do.

Exactly. Most 3 years won’t sit still long enough

I don’t see what’s so hilarious about the idea of a sensible 3 year old. Mine is in school full time so has to be able to toilet herself. At 2 she was a bolter but in the last 6 months especially she has calmed down enormously and loves to play independently. I couldn’t see a situation where I was reading in bed whilst my children were somewhere else in the house but I have certainly left them for online meetings and when I’m doing something like cooking or cleaning. They know to check in with me regularly and I check in with them.

If DP is working weekends our 22 month old has free reign of a few (child proofed) rooms while I shower. She tends to wander for a few minutes, then comes and stands in the bathroom anyway to have a chat to me. I honestly can’t see her being happy to spend an hour downstairs alone within the next year, though I wouldn’t rule it out...

*rein