To let 3 year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend?

[GoldBar]

Would you let your three year old play downstairs for an hour or so at the weekend while you read upstairs in bed? With the video monitor on to keep an eye and some cereal and milk?

@Livelifejoyful

I live in Morocco. Yes there are cars, as there are in every country?! My dad grew up in Palestine and even to this day my family children walk to school alone. Everyone in the neighbourhoods know eachother and know the kids too.

Well I've not been to either country so I can't compare.

However, I do not agree that children are wiser and more responsible when they are left on their own at such a young age.

Lmao at the concept of being able to teach a 1 year old how to climb the stairs safely and them retain it as an older child would.

Funny, I have friends in Morocco, and I can assure you none of the children in their neighbourhood is ever going to school alone, and no one would even consider walking there anyway, they are worst than the UK about cars and the school run.

Morocco is a big country...

@Tarantulala

Lmao at the concept of being able to teach a 1 year old how to climb the stairs safely and them retain it as an older child would.

what's so funny? I have never put stairs case in my house.

I still find the OP ridiculous. There's a balance and the mindset behind the reasoning is what matters.
Thinking it's safer for the child to use the stairs as opposed to climb over stairgates one day is in their own interest. Wanting to stay in bed without being disturbed is selfish and not in the best interest of the child at all. "I don't want to see you until I feel like it" has nothing to do with teaching them independence.

@santaclaritaDiet if they live in a tourist busy city then perhaps not. But in the quieter rural areas they all do.

I think it depends on the child to be honest.

My Daughter is 3, and I know that she is (mainly) trustworthy playing up in her room on her own. Everything in her room so safe.. wardrobes bolted to wall etc. She plays up there for maybe 10/20 mins on her own and I go up to check she is ok quite often.

I have a 6 month old, so it is impossible to always be in the same room as my eldest.

I think if your child is fairly sensible and can't hurt themselves, then I would let them. You also have a video monitor so can keep an eye on them.

what's so funny?

Thinking that because a 20 month old can climb stairs (most can) it's safe to leave them to it as they have 'learnt'.

No

I'm sure mine was taking himself downstairs sorting himself cereal to eat in front of TV at that age whilst we were still asleep. May god strike me down.

No.

No too young

[quote Kungfupanda67]@NoViolins I see you are also incapable of reading. She wasn’t on her own, we were all pottering around the house, she probably didn’t go more than 10/15 minutes without me or my husband seeing her, between us popping down for drinks/coffees and her popping into our bedroom to show us things, read books etc. We could hear all 3 children for the whole time, and most of the time they were all playing together.[/quote]
Rude response.

But that aside - despite your nonsense about the child being able to navigate the stairs...do you honestly believe it's safe to allow her to do that with other siblings who could trip / push/ unbalance her ? I am honestly astounded that you are still defending this and blaming other posters.

Mine would have been fine at 3.

I still wouldn’t have done it. Still wouldn’t now she’s 4. Just go downstairs with your child.

@Tarantulala I fully accept that one year olds can be very different from one another. But one of my children could climb the stairs up and down from one, certainly before walking.

Our 6 and 3 year old do this most days... They get up super early, and go downstairs to play/watch t.v, while me and Dh doze a bit longer. DD1 is very very sensible though, and although dd2 isn't, she wouldn't do anything crazy with dd1 there. Guess it depends what sort of 3 year old you have? DD1 could have let her do it from young, dd2 I'm only happy with it because her sister is watching her like a hawk.

Just to clarify, they were walking at 10 months but the question was whether I would leave them downstairs as three year olds.

Hell no. She’d have the wallpaper off the walls.

Also it’s kind of sad for a three year old to get up and go downstairs alone. Mine comes through far too early and I do my best to persuade her to come into my bed and watch Peppa or whatever to give me an extra half hour of dozing. But I couldn’t lie there and let her go downstairs alone. It’s too sad.

I agree children should be taught independence and appropriate risk taking, no question. However letting a 20 month old have free unsupervised access to the house with no supervision on stairs does not come under the umbrella of appropriate! DS is 18 months are has been climbing up and down the stairs for ages now, does it very safely 99% of the time, I let him, but stand behind him just in case. The other day rather than walking down and holding on like he normally does, he decided to try and let go (which is great for him to try, he’s learning!), but he wasn’t ready to do that and toppled forwards. I grabbed him, it was fine. If I hadn’t been there, he’d have toppled to the bottom.

Anyway I know that wasn’t the OP. I wouldn’t personally with my 3 year old- though mine does play independently for a good amount of time and I know what you mean about if you’re in the room too if sometimes seems to disrupt the flow of their game. I just like to be up and with it and able to pop my head in often, but can appreciate if you’re watching on a monitor it could be ok, just not personally something I’d do.

I wouldn't worry about my 3 year old being unsafe. I would worry about her destroying the living room.

I left her for 5 mins on Friday to do something I'm the kitchen. I came back to find the contents of a very large soft toy all over my living room floor. Her excuse 'I didn't mean to'. My DD's speech is very good for her age and she is not shy about coming forward. But she would turn everything upside down in seconds so we don't leave her.

I couldn’t lie there and let her go downstairs alone. It’s too sad.

Why? Learning to self entertain, use imagination, play on your own is a vital skill. It’s not a 3 year old being sent up the chimneys, or walking 5 miles to find fresh water, or scavenge on rubbish dumps for food. It’s playing while a loving parent has an ear out from another room.

I couldn’t lie there and let her go downstairs alone. It’s too sad.

I find this really weird - my eldest has got up at 6 his whole life. At 3, he was still co-sleeping with us - either actually in our bed, or in his own bed next to ours. If he got up to go play, it wasn't neglect, it was him choosing to get up and go play! He's got up at 6am almost every day of his whole life - in fact we had to work to get it as late as 6am.

His little brother co-slept, then went straight in to sharing a bed with DS1 - he's also never slept alone, but will also happily go down and play when he's ready.

It's not sad, it's a secure kid, happy to spend some time doing their own thing, knowing that mum and dad are just a yell, or a wander into the bedroom away.

No, I think it’d be lonely for them. It’s mean.

Just get up and eat breakfast with your child. You can sit on the sofa on your phone if it’s that important to you.

My parents didn’t leave us to go downstairs on our own until we were much older, and I wouldn’t do it with DS.