Takeaways

[Rhoobarbandraspberries]

Following on from another thread..do people really leave other members of the household out when they buy takeaways?? There are six of us, but I would get lynched if I got a curry in without involving all of us (even though that can work out expensive!). Are takeaways an adults only treat, or should the whole family be involved??

YABU - it’s fine
YANBU - it’s not worth the risk of the row and / or it’s a bit rude to exclude

At the moment, we have takeaways for just me and partner.
I have a 2 year old and 9 month old who wouldn't be able to stay up late enough to enjoy it and although my 9 month old would definitely love a curry, my 2 year old wouldn't 😂

This is only whilst they are small though and we will involve them once they are old enough to enjoy it!

We're a family of 4 and have unfussy eaters.
DCs have been involved in takeaways ever since they have been old enough to be/stay up when we get them.
We don't get takeaway very often, but they have never complained that they don't like it. If they found out we got one after they'd gone to bed we'd get grief. If we tried to give them freezer food, they would polish off the beige and then sidle up with a 'can a just try a bit...?' and before I knew it my dinner would be inside a small person. It's easier to let them have it from the get go.

This thread has resulted in two things:

1. I have realised I have been being over-precious about DS not having takeaway food as a very occasional thing - I had some idea it was far too unhealthy to give to a two year old but on reflection I give him restaurant food so what's the difference?
2. DH and I have ordered a takeaway (and DS is now in bed, so this new resolution that he can have some is not starting from tonight!)

Just me and DH at the moment, DS isn't two until December and for me that's too young. I cook curries, stir fry, Thai dishes etc quite often for all of us though, just have to watch the salty ingredients in some recipes and add after DSs bit has been taken out (soy/fish sauce etc) , he does like spicy though

@WanderingMilly

If it's a family takeaway night, everyone's in. If it's the case that everyone is doing their own thing, why can't one member decide to order something of their own without having to ask everyone else? What a daft question.....

So you do that then? You buy yourself a takeaway and don’t offer your partner or kids. You just rock on and get that Meal and fill your face in front of them without even asking if they want something when you order ? And you consider asking them as daft?

You crack on and do you. but as you can see most people perceive not asking or offering as rude,

Enjoy your take away,

Our kids love a takeaway and have done since they were teeny, curry or Chinese are favourites. There would be hell to pay if we tried to fob them off with fishfingers while we tucked into Chinese.

Likewise if we were kicking around discussing food and I couldn't think of anything in the house that I wanted, I'd probably say I wasn't fussed so wouldn't bother. If dh then nipped out on the sly for a takeaway just for himself, when this hadn't been on the table as an option earlier I'd be miffed.

We rarely have them but everyone is included. DH has been known to ring me from the kebab shop on the way home after a few drinks out to ask if I want anything (no DH, I am in bed asleep )

I think if you normally eat dinner together, it should be a family event to get a takeaway. If your kids normally have their tea early and then you have dinner when they're in bed, adults only is fine.

The only exception is if maybe it's a special occasion but even then I can't really think of why the kids would be left out and cooked something else. Unless they're picky eaters and there's nothing they'd like, of course.

To be fair, takeaways are pretty rare things anyway aren't they? So it's fairly easy to grab one when the kids are at grandma's or at a friend's? Maybe not in covid times, but normally?

Everyone is always offered. Sometimes they want it, sometimes they don't. Its not often they don't. We usually get takeaway when there's nothing in for dinner and no one can be bothered going to the shop so there's not much choice 😂

I have to order my own curry sometimes as DP doesn't like it. And even then has to be the mild ones like butter chicken or korma as my preferred Jalfrezi makes me fart

Generally it's an all or none situation, although there exceptions.
About once a month DH and I eat together without the kids. Sometimes I cook something the kids don't like or we eat out but usually we get a takeaway.
Other times one person who is eating really late for whatever reason might get a take away.
Rarely DH doesn't fancy what I've cooked so will get himself a takeaway.

DH has been known to ring me from the kebab shop on the way home after a few drinks out to ask if I want anything (no DH, I am in bed asleep )
My DH goes a step further and stumbles into the bedroom brandishing bag of goodness knows what acting as though he's bringing me an amazing gift! Who wouldn't want to get up at 3am and tuck into of congealed Chinese food

Youngest has food allergies, if we get a takeaway she can't eat she quite happy to have a 'freezer' meal.

Mixed. Dd1 is a fussy eater but loves pizza. Dd2 is more adventurous and likes curry, some Chinese and a kebab (the shame). She doesn't like pizza. I don't eat meat and am now gluten free. Takeaways are a mine field and therefore rare.

We had one tonight for dhs birthday. Pizza (gluten free base for me natch). We got Dd2 some Cajun chicken breast and made her a chicken burger.

Would never not consider everyone but it's a ballache.

We do this regularly. Our kids are young though so we have chinese as a treat once they’re in bed. As they get older and stay up later I imagine we’ll be getting takeaway for all of us. I wouldn’t buy a takeaway for us and cook for the kids and then all eat at the same time. That seems strange.

@Mumtumwobble

We do this regularly. Our kids are young though so we have chinese as a treat once they’re in bed. As they get older and stay up later I imagine we’ll be getting takeaway for all of us. I wouldn’t buy a takeaway for us and cook for the kids and then all eat at the same time. That seems strange.

No you don’t, because you say “we” , The op asked if one person would do it and not offer anyone else, so would you order a take away and not tell or offer your partner.

Why answer a different question? It wasn’t a long difficult to understand op,?

Generally a whole family thing for us. I remember waking up a few times and seeing a dominos box on the kitchen side, but never had a takeaway except for the chippy whilst I lived at home. I'd never not share with DD.

Sometimes DH and DS order pizza, so I cook for myself. If we ever have Chinese or Indian, we all get involved.

Growing up it was a family affair. With Casualty on the telly. Now it's just two plus two four legged rascals who like a bit of something too.

I recently visited my sister and her DH made the kids a frozen pizza (and nothing else, no chips, beans or veggies) when they got in and then when DSis got home from work she ordered a takeaway for herself, her DH and I. Nothing for the children. It just felt... wrong, leaving the kids out. They had to sit in the living room and could see us devouring a delicious Chinese meal.

Meals in my house include all our children and we all eat takeaway together. We'll order different things to suit everyone but it'll still be takeaway.

If it's home cooking I will sometimes do them a slightly different meal if DH and I are eating something no good for the kids (hot curry or a too spicy chilli) but it's still served together.

@Bluntness100

I think you need to reread the OP. She asked about adults v. whole family. She didn't ask about one adult leaving other adults out.

While the thread this was inspired by may have been a different scenario, the OP framed this thread very much as adults v. kids.

It depends on the takeaway.

There are some we all like - Pizza, Indian and some the DC's don't - Chinese, Thai, plus you won't get me and DH ordering McDonalds or KFC for toffee.

So generally we gravitate to takeaways we all enjoy, but on occasion we might treat the kids to their favourites and I'll cook for DH and I (and probably cook something nice like a steak) or vice versa and make the kids a homemade McDRM burger and fries.

The only real criteria is that everyone eats food they enjoy on "treat nights" - rather than the healthier food options I prepare normally.

Growing up my parents always got Indians and Chinese without asking us (teens) at the time if we wanted anything. It used to really annoy me and my brother because we’d be there with whatever we’d made for ourselves usually some simple pasta or beans on toast and they’d be there with heaping delicious plates of Indian. Very exclusionary.

@Bbang Did they ever explain why you were left out?

All of us here - DC age 4 & 2.
We don't have takeaway often, but both children enjoy a Chinese Takeaway occasionally. Or fish and chips sometimes if we are late home and need a quick tea.
The only exception might be when DC have eaten tea at childcare and DH and I are eating once they are in bed. But this is a very rare occurance!

Depends really
If dp wanted to get takeaway seafood, i wouldnt. Im allergic. Depending on effort levels i may not bother getting anything.
Or say he caught some fish, cooked it up, id get takeaway, as i wont eat fish, dd would pick what she wanted from there.
Or if he out n about, i dont expect he grab me a burger if he stop through maccas on drive home. Would be cold by time it got here.

Generally no we all have takeaway (well ds only wants it sometimes), but if one of says they are not hungry (genuiney not as not 'no but i really mean yes' mind game thing) and the other wanted one we might get one.

I have to say personally I never thought of another person having a takeaway when I didn't want one as such a contentious issue if I say no i mean no