Takeaways

[Rhoobarbandraspberries]

Following on from another thread..do people really leave other members of the household out when they buy takeaways?? There are six of us, but I would get lynched if I got a curry in without involving all of us (even though that can work out expensive!). Are takeaways an adults only treat, or should the whole family be involved??

YABU - it’s fine
YANBU - it’s not worth the risk of the row and / or it’s a bit rude to exclude

I’m just waiting for my husband to get back with mine. I’m the only one having one. Nobody else wanted one though.

At the moment, my DC are 3 and 1 so only tend to join us for takeaway if it's from the chippy. They've had others in the past, but usually a takeaway is a "kids in bed" treat at the moment.

When they're older, it'll be everybody.

Even when DH and I had had a row I still offered to get him something from the chinese before I went. I cant imagine getting a takeaway without offering. But we also live in a house where if you make a cuppa, you offer round, if you get anything from the kitchen you offer round.

Really weird! In lockdown it was all in foot takeaway.
We're a blended family of 2 adult parents, 2 adult dc then dc 15 and 17.
If me and dh want a takeaway then it includes 15yo but other than a brief text to the others to say its on offer, we don't give it any thought - if they don't respond or have other plans we wouldn't think to include them.
There's always food in the freezer, or we give them a couple of quid to go to the chippy.
People are precious, it's really not offensive.

@Quickchange5

I too thought there were bigger issues on the other thread - the wife’s side of the story I think would have been very different

Totally agree I got an undertone of resentment but also male entitlement that he must only have nice food . Most people would happily eat beans on toast if someone else makes it. He does all the cooking as hes so good at it but if the DW offers to cook he is snotty. Bizarre, he more interested in being "right" than the fact his DW was upset.

For dinner? Everyone, including 15 month old DS, who we usually get some steamed veggies or similar for.

i often get something for just me if I'm home alone though...

Usually all of us, except when someone doesn't like that type and we get them a quick microwave meal

I hate takeaways with a vengeance. Don't like curry, pizza or Chinese food!

I agree it’s rude to exclude a family member if getting a takeaway. So we always offer. But some days they don’t want the takeaway and so do eat something else. So it’s offer to all, but not always everyone eating it.

If we get one, the kids do too, assuming they are up. Only time we get one without them is if we decide to eat late and they are already in bed.

My stepkids mother regularly makes them the likes of beans on toast or a frozen pizza, and sits with her boyfriend eating Chinese or whatever they have decided on that day. Always seems nasty to me tbh. Her excuse is that she cannot afford to do them for all..but to me that would be cutting down on what I have now in order to get them one? Instead of me and boyfriend getting one 4x a week or something, have 2 a week but include the kids.

We would only have it once or twice a year so it would be for everyone.

I couldn't imagine a situation where it was such a regular occurrence that people would turn it down - we are more likely to all go out for a meal than have a takeaway, so the odd one is very exciting.

More often (perhaps every couple of months) we would have a ready meal from Cook - so a curry or Thai probably. Again, woukd include everyone.....definitely don't want to be cooking for anyone if it's treat meal.

For those who have it regularly and don t have it for everyone, isn't it a pain to cook at all for the others...isn't a key point that it's a night off cooking?

We don’t share with kids. They’re just as happy with nuggets from the freezer. Always a treat once they’re in bed with wine.

That is, wine for us, with said takeaway - we don’t send the kids to bed with wine!

I cant imagine the absolute hell that would have broken out as a child if me and my brother had come down in the morning to the remnants of a takeaway!

I think the smell would have woken me up tbh. Equally cant believe all the dc who dont like chinese

Takeaway is a family affair, if a family member declines thats fine but they should be offered. Wouldnt even have got a takeaway without offering it to my housemates when I lived in a houseshare, I just feel its rude

Just for adults in our house!
Kids don't like Chinese or take away curry (they'll eat homemade). We don't order pizzas anyway as we have an Ooni so just use that for pizza night.

If it's a family takeaway night, everyone's in. If it's the case that everyone is doing their own thing, why can't one member decide to order something of their own without having to ask everyone else? What a daft question.....

We don't exclude anyone from takeaways, but only my husband eats curry in our house so if he fancies a takeaway curry he's free to get one without buying an equivalent takeaway for the rest of us.

But if he went to the chippy and didn't buy for the girls he'd be lynched but he wouldn't dream of doing that

I won a chinese takeaway meal for one today.

Im leaving it till Sunday and we order for everyone as well.

We offer for everyone. Tonight me and dd1 had takeaway but DH and dd2 didn't but that was their choice.

I’m a tiny surprised about kids that don’t like Chinese or Indian either, as sweet & sour chicken (or chicken balls) or a coconut korma curry respectively are pretty safe (no spicy) options

I would be lynched if a takeaway didn’t involve everyone here! Out of fairness, even if one dc doesn’t want the main takeaway, Dh will pop to get them a pizza instead. Takeaways are a Family treat and I can’t imagine getting a takeaway just for me! Weird!

Oh and dd1 has her own money and will sometimes choose to buy a takeaway and will offer to buy for everyone (we don't accept but will let her buy one for her little sister).

@Hardbackwriter

Out of interest, when did people start sharing takeaways with their children? DS is two so currently any takeaway is when he's in bed because we'd want it later than he eats and it all feels too salty/unhealthy for a toddler - but this thread made me wonder when people do start giving DC, e.g., a takeaway curry?

My youngest would pick at a takeaway from probably 2 years old. He's been eating curry (korma) from about 4 or 5. It's a rare treat but he loves it. He's 9 now and will tuck in to anything (Chinese, Indian, dominoes etc) along with us.

There’s 6 of us so we generally get one for me DP DS and DSD and the younger two 3 and 1 generally eat a lot earlier and have much earlier bedtimes.

Growing up my parents always got Indians and Chinese without asking us (teens) at the time if we wanted anything. It used to really annoy me and my brother because we’d be there with whatever we’d made for ourselves usually some simple pasta or beans on toast and they’d be there with heaping delicious plates of Indian. Very exclusionary.

Usually if we get a takeaway it's for all of us.

When DD has dance I tend to do the kids tea early, because it's a bit late for them to eat afterwards. OH and I then eat together later- sometimes we cook, sometimes get a takeaway.

If OH is going to be home from work really late, the kids and I eat without him and he'll get a takeaway for himself on his way home.