To tell my niece that the guy she's been talking to online is her mother

[Jaimeles]

I don't know what to do !

My niece has been living with me for 2 years ( not in the UK) , she used to be very very difficult , anger ,drugs , skipping school etc... She moved in with me and now she is almost 18yo. Her mum visits us maybe once a year.

My niece is really now a really kind and nice person. Works hard , thankful , gentle. She , herself, can't even believe she used to act like she did.

So about 2 months ago , she started talking to a guy on facebook. She told me about it and is really happy about it. We had the "be careful" convo. She told me that he was always making up excuses not to meet.

My sister has a hard time believing that her daughter has changed , and always tell me I am just trying to find excuses. I once told her again how her child grew up and now is not who she was. After I mentioned the boy , she told me " I am veryfing what she is doing , X is really me. You'll see she hasn't changed and will show all the sex convo we had"

I am disgusted. Now what do I do ? Tell my niece about it , risking to ruin her already fragile relationship or just rell her he's not good to convince her to stop talking to that "guy" ?

Beyond disgusting.

Tell her, otherwise her mother will tell her that you colluded.
But soften it to save her some face. You could say something like ‘your mum said something to me that was weird about the the guy your messaging. There’s no way she could have hacked into your account is there?’. Be prepared to be her rock for a bit thins is going to send her right back.

Is this for real?! What mother would groom her own daughter online to prove a point?

the mother is violating and humiliating the daughter:(

If this is true the mother is beyond sick and it's also beyond strange that the OP is asking advice from randomers on the internet

@AriettyHomily

Jesus Christ do people really behave like this in real life.

Tell your niece.

No, they do not.

@draughtycatflap

“She shouted out I’m all yours Babooshka Babooshka Babooshka ya ya!”.

Tell her the truth .

This makes me so sad.

Your sister is sick.

Hey everyone , thank you for your advice. Everything ended well. I told my niece to voice chat with the boy without talking about her mother. I insisted and she finally did. They even did voice chat. It's not the mother. I am so so glad I came here. Thanks for those who suggested my sister may be lying. She was.

I'm glad she was lying. She's sick, either way. Thank goodness your niece has you!

In 20 years of mumsnet this is the worst thing I’ve read. How awful.

Oh, seen most recent update. Well that’s better for your niece but her mum is still a twisted weirdo.

I would still tell your DN.
She needs to know her mum lied and worried you, so she can be careful and double check in future.

Wow. That is less scary than the thought of your sister actually doing it. But it’s still messed up to lie. Do you think you’ll confront her or tell DN anything? I don’t know what I’d do really.

Well, it's still messed up that your sister lied about it (just why would she do that??) but at least you know that it wasn't her actually catfishing her daughter, so that must be a relief.

As to whether you should tell your niece, I really don't know, but it demonstrates that her mum can't be trusted to have your niece's interests at heart.

Please tell me that you are going no contact with your sister? She sounds truly scary.

Did you mean "they even did VIDEO chat", not "they even did voice chat"? Because doing a video chat would be a wise thing to do at this point.

Video chat or voice only? Those of us that watch catfish are still

Still a very odd thing for mother to say even if she isn't behind it.

Had a good chat with my teens about cat fishing after reading this thread, they said it's a very regular thing.