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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kittens - AIBU to take them back?

385 replies

Lotsofsocks · 24/09/2020 16:23

This may be long! We have a rescue cat who is three years old. We decided to get two kittens from a rescue and have been to pick them up today - now I'm not sure we've done the right thing!

When I was asking the rescue about cats/kittens to adopt I made it clear we had five children (and we'd rescued from them before so they had all our details) and another cat. Every cat/kitten I was interested in I asked would they be good with another cat, how would they be with children?

I was told the two I was interested in were a little shy but would be fine and that they were chipped and neutered. We've been to pick them up today and it was then confirmed that they weren't chipped and neutered as they are only 10 weeks old and the woman at the rescue couldn't confirm where they had come from! I was also told they are a little shy and will hiss a bit but keep picking them up and they will be fine. That's an understatement!

We got home and took them into one room and let them out of the carrier. They both fled into the corners of the room and won't let us anywhere near them. When we tried to get them back into the carrier one bit my husband and wouldn't let go. They were both hissing and howling. I don't know what to do for the best. The kids have come home and are all crying as they can't touch them. We'd had a rescue kitten but he'd been looked after in someone's house so was much more socialised and would be picked up and stroked (as were the two previous cats I had as kittens) and our rescue cat was the same. When we got our current cat you were allowed in with the cats so could see their temperament, whether they would be picked up etc but with COVID you can't do that and have to go on what the rescue say. When we were leaving the lady at the shelter did say if you can't handle them you can bring them back which is making me think they weren't handled a lot there and aren't actually really ready to go to a home.

Do you think it's fairer if we take them back so they can go to a home that's quieter and may be better for them? I don't know what to do for the best. I've also got to introduce them to our other cat at some point but am really fearing how this will go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotsofsocks · 27/09/2020 20:31

Right we’re going to bloody do this even if it takes months!

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/09/2020 20:33

Aw yay! Well done OP and well done OP's eldest DD.

(My eldest DD is the animal whisperer in our house too. 4 DCs and lots of well loved pets in our house. Eldest DD flying through veterinary college.)

So much for the 'brat' posts ay!? :)

shesgonebatshitagain · 27/09/2020 21:52

Well done @Lotsofsocks and your daughter
Trust your update has meant all the sanctimonious folk can shut up and behave as though they’d actually read your posts

Best of luck

chocolatespiders · 27/09/2020 21:52

As they settle toys will help with interaction. Balls and sticks with hanging feathers etc - most kittens can't resist.

EmptyFrogBarrel · 27/09/2020 22:01

Aw, fantastic that they’re out from under the radiator!

Porridgeoat · 27/09/2020 23:02

Feral cats I’ve had two and very different. One was happy go lucky and is everyone’s best friend, the other has taken a year to socialise and trust us but now we have a cat who won’t sit on our lap but is incredibly well bonded to a small number of humans.

Porridgeoat · 27/09/2020 23:05

It’s too early to tell the nature of the kittens. Give them a couple of weeks first

ilovesooty · 27/09/2020 23:25

I'm so glad to hear that they're making progress. The more the thread has developed the more I've changed my opinion about your family not being a suitable environment. I did say initially that the rescue doesn't sound very good though and I still think that. Good luck going forward.

TheQueenInTheNorth · 28/09/2020 00:50

Well done, I'm so glad that you and your daughter have made progress. Ignore all the ignorant people thinking that households with more than 3 kids are hectic and not suitable for pets. We have always had a few pets and even rescued a couple of pregnant cats and my 6 kids are now aged between 6 and 16. I hope you continue to make progress with the kittens and manage to keep them, I think your home is just where they are meant to be.

Stripyhoglets1 · 28/09/2020 00:53

I'd take them back. We've rescued a cat and we're told he was a bit anxious - a year on and he still runs away from us. We can't go near him and I think he wasn't socialised as a kitten. We're used to having a distant cat niw and have another who is perfectly calm.
Id take them back as if they are anxious cats they need a quiet home to settle into.

Sophiafour · 28/09/2020 02:43

Aww so pleased things are improving a little and I am sorry I didn't realise sooner the rescue place had seen your home before kits arrived. All the best going forward.

Sophiafour · 28/09/2020 02:46

And if you're looking for great toys and don't know about them already the Da Bird range is brilliant. Our younger cat loves the feather attachment and older (ex feral) cat loves the soft wiggly pink furry thing.

Original poster
Lotsofsocks · 28/09/2020 07:27

@ilovesooty

I'm so glad to hear that they're making progress. The more the thread has developed the more I've changed my opinion about your family not being a suitable environment. I did say initially that the rescue doesn't sound very good though and I still think that. Good luck going forward.
Thank you - I appreciate that.
OP posts:
Butterer · 28/09/2020 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmandaHugenkiss · 28/09/2020 09:41

@Lotsofsocks

Right we’re going to bloody do this even if it takes months!
Yay! So pleased you are making progress. Commented on your other thread but wanted to pop on here too 🙂
northstars · 28/09/2020 09:55

Really happy to see your updates! I’m glad things are improving Smile

Fairybatman · 28/09/2020 15:10

@Lotsofsocks

Thank you for your kind words. Some more progress, my daughter has got both of them to eat ham out of her hand so we’re feeling better. Looked through the window again and the girl is now curled up asleep on the sofa!
Excellent cat whisperer DD indeed Grin
Mulderitssme · 28/09/2020 19:06

I hope you do return them. They're not toys but living creatures and I don't understand why your children are crying. Please take them back so someone else can care for them.

LST · 28/09/2020 19:11

@mulder maybe read the thread

MorganKitten · 28/09/2020 20:36

@Lotsofsocks

Thank you for your kind words. Some more progress, my daughter has got both of them to eat ham out of her hand so we’re feeling better. Looked through the window again and the girl is now curled up asleep on the sofa!
Please don’t give them ham - too much salt in there for them to process.
Original poster
Lotsofsocks · 28/09/2020 20:50

@Mulderitssme

I hope you do return them. They're not toys but living creatures and I don't understand why your children are crying. Please take them back so someone else can care for them.
If you read my updates it might help. Tell me where I say they are toys?
OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 28/09/2020 20:55

They look very big for 10 weeks!

My kittend had been very well handled by a family of 5 children when I got them- they were still very shy initially, I e would hiss if a workman came into the house. They didn't purr for two weeks. They're now the silliest things ever.

I'm surprised you would think 10 week old kitten would be neutered. The only way these kittens could have been about to be neutered is if they are wilder than 10 weeks.

rubydoobydoo · 28/09/2020 22:37

Awww glad to see you're making progress!

And no, don't give them ham - it turns them into monsters! We can't go near our fridge without getting mobbed by our lot as they think there might be ham in there! Grin

Original poster
Lotsofsocks · 29/09/2020 07:26

@LynetteScavo

They look very big for 10 weeks!

My kittend had been very well handled by a family of 5 children when I got them- they were still very shy initially, I e would hiss if a workman came into the house. They didn't purr for two weeks. They're now the silliest things ever.

I'm surprised you would think 10 week old kitten would be neutered. The only way these kittens could have been about to be neutered is if they are wilder than 10 weeks.

The picture makes them look bigger but they are definitely 10 weeks.

I didn’t expect them to be neutered - I know at what age they can be done. The point I was getting at is that the rescue told me they were so made them out to older - they didn’t tell me the truth on a lot of questions I asked!

OP posts:
trixie1970 · 10/10/2020 18:08

I haven't read the whole thread but I don't think you quite understand how to adopt cats/kittens. Your expectations are totally unreasonable so in the kittens' interests, I'd return them so they can be adopted by someone who is suitable and whose children understand animal needs.