Kittens - AIBU to take them back?

[Lotsofsocks]

This may be long! We have a rescue cat who is three years old. We decided to get two kittens from a rescue and have been to pick them up today - now I'm not sure we've done the right thing!

When I was asking the rescue about cats/kittens to adopt I made it clear we had five children (and we'd rescued from them before so they had all our details) and another cat. Every cat/kitten I was interested in I asked would they be good with another cat, how would they be with children?

I was told the two I was interested in were a little shy but would be fine and that they were chipped and neutered. We've been to pick them up today and it was then confirmed that they weren't chipped and neutered as they are only 10 weeks old and the woman at the rescue couldn't confirm where they had come from! I was also told they are a little shy and will hiss a bit but keep picking them up and they will be fine. That's an understatement!

We got home and took them into one room and let them out of the carrier. They both fled into the corners of the room and won't let us anywhere near them. When we tried to get them back into the carrier one bit my husband and wouldn't let go. They were both hissing and howling. I don't know what to do for the best. The kids have come home and are all crying as they can't touch them. We'd had a rescue kitten but he'd been looked after in someone's house so was much more socialised and would be picked up and stroked (as were the two previous cats I had as kittens) and our rescue cat was the same. When we got our current cat you were allowed in with the cats so could see their temperament, whether they would be picked up etc but with COVID you can't do that and have to go on what the rescue say. When we were leaving the lady at the shelter did say if you can't handle them you can bring them back which is making me think they weren't handled a lot there and aren't actually really ready to go to a home.

Do you think it's fairer if we take them back so they can go to a home that's quieter and may be better for them? I don't know what to do for the best. I've also got to introduce them to our other cat at some point but am really fearing how this will go.

To anyone saying OP is an experienced cat owner - she is clearly not, or would not have these expectations.
Obviously the rescue has not acted correctly either.
OP just take them back, it is better for everyone.

@Pancakeorcrepe

To anyone saying OP is an experienced cat owner - she is clearly not, or would not have these expectations. Obviously the rescue has not acted correctly either. OP just take them back, it is better for everyone.

If you read the OP’s posts these are not her first cats and kittens

I think in fairness the only bit of your post that is “fair”‘is from “Obviously”

Unless anyone here has actually seen the kittens to see their behaviour, it's impossible to criticise/judge the OP. You don't have all the information.

You must know kittens can't be neutered until 5 months old. Your kids should keep away from these poor scared little kittens. You should put something of yours like a worn sock in their baskets so they get used to your smell. Feed them 4 times s day at 10 weeks and give them kitten milk you can get from supermarkets. Make sure they have warm blankets to cuddle iinto. Plug in a felaway. Each time they re feeding gently stroke their head. In 2 weeks they should be used to you. Keep them in one room and kids away from them. Once they are used to you and used to being handled introduce to one child at s time. Remind your kids they are not toys and they will have plenty of time to play with them once they have settled in. Buy them a couple of toys.

Every "new" kitten will be scared for a few weeks which is natural. A rescue kitten I would imagine that wiuld be nore so.
All they need is a bit of love and paitence and I think it would be more cruel to upheave them again to take them back without giving it some time.
Xx

Are you really expecting instant gratification from a pair of young kittens? Give them some love, ffs!

I'm not sure why you are getting such horrible responses here, you sound like you have the kittens best interests at heart and doing everything you can to help them settle. I hope you get it sorted with the rescue, it's really bad that they've given you the wrong cats. I wouldn't be happy!

Bloody hell op just leave the little things to settle first. And get a grip on your crying kids, the kittens aren't toys & they need to be left alone, not paraded about In front of noisy crying children. Cats really loose their bearings when they are put in a place they don't recognise. Stop handling them, let them come to you when they are ready & teach yourself kids some boundaries or there will be more biting & hissing to come. If you know anything about cats what they need right now is a room for them to be left alone in with all essentials, leave the door open a little & let them come & explore & meet you all when they are ready.

Good luck

How are they doing today?

Have you tried a feliway diffuser? That might help in keeping them calm. A lot of vets use this for the cars visiting them.

I think they'll need to be kept in the room for a couple of weeks till they start to calm down. They are so young it must be very scary for them.

I think perhaps just have one person be the designated carer until they come out of their shells a bit.

i got two kittens a couple of weeks ago and they are gorgeous little things and sleep on my chest. I think as they were not in a home you’re going to have to give them time to settle in.

I would return them to the rescue, it’s not fair on them. The rescue will definitely understand.

Sorry you’ve had a hard time op, I’m with you.

Are you really expecting instant gratification from a pair of young kittens? Give them some love, ffs!

ffs RTWT and OP's many many comments explaining herself (she has now given up). Your comments are redundant

That goes for @melissalou too

I have 6 kids and have introduced kittens into my family without these problems so I don't agree with the pp saying that 5 kids is too much for kittens, if you do if properly then they can settle well and be part of the family in time. Saying that I agree that these kittens sound feral and may not fit with your family. I used to volunteer at RSPCA years ago and was told never to say anything negative about an animal, we had to just say they were nervous so they would get rehomed easier so I think this is what has happened here.

looks like the rescue has fobbed u off or made a mistake then hope its sorted out they dont sound professional

@Lotsofsocks
I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be very stressful for you and your DFamily and the kittens, too.
You seem like a very kind and responsible person...I'm sure whatever decision you make will turn out the best for all concerned

OP sorry to hear this. I'd say they sound like they need a different home where someone can work with them.

Thank you all for your advice.

Neither of them come out from under the radiator if we are in the room but my eldest daughter, who most definitely is the cat whisperer, has made some headway with the boy. She has managed to stroke him under the chin and he just fell asleep while she was doing it though she had her arm stuck under the radiator. This is the girl who got her last kitten asleep in the crook of her arm the day we bought him home and whose cat follows her up to bed, sleeps wrapped round her neck and is the only person the cat will let pick up. I think he feels less threatened by her size.

The boy has come out and sat on the sofa if we are not in the room (we’ve looked through the windows). The girl kitten is so scared of any noise, and is still hissing that I just don’t know that she will settle and that’s without an introduction to our elder cat and the other kids. I think he would be fine but she keeps trying to climb onto him for reassurance and he’s backing away from her and she is so jumpy. She definitely needs to be in a quieter home. My eldest daughter agrees that she will probably not be happy in our house but with some work he would be. Ultimately though the rescue only place in pairs so we’re going to speak to them tomorrow for their advice.

This is the first time I’ve ever got a kitten/cat without being able to interact with them first so I’m just feeling incredibly guilty that this probably isn’t going to work out.

No don’t lose heart now, that sounds like real progress! It does take the wild ones a bit longer, but it sounds like their confidence is growing slowly so that’s a big step forward. Just give them time. Have you tried the tuna trick? No kittens can resist tuna. Maybe get your daughter to offer them a little on a teaspoon and see if they’ll go for that? It’s great the boy kitten is coming round because ultimately if he gets used to you all, he’ll be able to show her she doesn’t have anything to fear. Please don’t split them up though.

OP, I read your OP and responded in the beginning. Having read through your subsequent posts I think that the rescue have behaved badly But it sounds as if you are making progress, I wouldn’t give up now.

TBH I wouldn’t speak to the rescue if you’re going to return them, as they’re not chipped there’s no way the rescue can make a claim on them, so if you do get to a point of rehoming, I would speak to your vet for advice.

It might be worth speaking to someone like @theCatNeuterer as she rescues and fosters kittens so likely has experience of dealing with kittens like these two.

And ignore posters who haven’t read any more than the OP and are now replying based on that, 300 posts in....

Thank you for your kind words. Some more progress, my daughter has got both of them to eat ham out of her hand so we’re feeling better. Looked through the window again and the girl is now curled up asleep on the sofa!

Both now out and on the sofa

Photo

Amazing progress