Page 10 | Off he went!

Electrixdreamz88 · 2020-09-24T11:21:24+00:00

I fell down the stairs this morning and after the initial shock of just carrying on the pain was unbearable so got to a and e and have broke my foot. DP is off on his friends stag today his lift came an hour after it happened. He was half hour into his journey when I told him the news of the break. We have a 7 year old 2 year old and ten month old. He did the whole do u You need me to come back? I just said no as I know if he did come back he will be annoyed all weekend missing out...but really he should have came back right?

MrsCollinssettled · 24/09/2020 20:59

@NoMoreReluctantCustodians

He shouldn't have asked you. But the silver lining is that you now know his lads weekend is more important to him than you. So at least you know where you stand.

This

ravenmum · 24/09/2020 21:06

SunshineCake
Doesn't really matter or do you subscribe to the don't help as not in the right topic iyo?
I was replying to another poster asking why the focus was on whether the OP was being unreasonable or not. I said that it was happening because she is in a forum specialising on whether she is being unreasonable or not. So yes, the forum does matter. I don't know what "iyo" means.

Mittens030869 · 24/09/2020 21:22

He shouldn't have gone! And yes, I know he didn't know the severity at that point but bloody hell, you stop & check on your wife, who has just fallen, regardless of everyone being in a rush.

^This! Not just because he supposedly loves his DP and should want to make sure she was okay, but because, as a father, it was his responsibility to look after his DC in circumstances where their mother wasn't able to. It was so cheeky to expect her DSis to step in.

MomToTwoBabas · 24/09/2020 21:47

Yea he should have come back. He has left you to care for his kids with a broken foot. Next time he has man flu book a spa weekend on your own.

BloggersBlog · 24/09/2020 21:51

If your sis and her dh have his number I would expect they will be texting him to get his lazy arse back and look after his own family!

Why should they?!

SunshineCake · 24/09/2020 21:52

@ravenmum

SunshineCake Doesn't really matter or do you subscribe to the don't help as not in the right topic iyo? I was replying to another poster asking why the focus was on whether the OP was being unreasonable or not. I said that it was happening because she is in a forum specialising on whether she is being unreasonable or not. So yes, the forum does matter. I don't know what "iyo" means.

I missed that.

IYO in your opinion.

when a post develops into relationship issues I think where it is posted is less, much less, important than supporting the OP.

cariaaad · 24/09/2020 22:27

I am currently 10 weeks post fractured ankle. My break was pretty bad but there is no way I could have coped without the support of my partner in the early days and we don't even have kids! I was pretty helpless, the stairs were really difficult-going up and down on my bum, and couldn't do any cooking/cleaning/washing etc. I used a wheelchair for first 7 weeks!
He was working away when I had my accident but came home that night, having to cancel the job.

I'm still in a boot and admittedly I am now doing more in the house than my partner which is usually a cause of confrontation, but I am at home all day now and he is working, but he really needed to step up initially. My point being that your husband will need to do more when he does get home and from what you've said that doesn't seem likely. I think you'll need to have a serious conversation about how you'll need his support, if he can't offer that at this time then I would really question the relationship. I really feel for you and wish you a speedy recovery.

Agingdisgracefully · 24/09/2020 22:53

Your husbands a selfish arse. But I hate these silly games. Saying no when you mean yes. Ffs. I couldn't be in that sort of relationship

Shizzlestix · 24/09/2020 22:55

I have now been told that I just don't want him to enjoy himself and that it was my own fault I fell and why should he have to pay for my stupidity. I knew he'd react like This. I've been told not to text him and let him have fun with his friends

Holy heck. That is unbelievable. That would be the end of it for me. Let him have fun while you deal with his 3 kids??

timeisnotaline · 24/09/2020 23:17

Oh op now its clear he’s an asshole. And I’m sorry, he doesn’t love you. Can you ask your sister to help out by dropping you all back... then taking you back and leaving him with the kids so at least you get some rest for a few days before you have to face trying to get your dick of a husband to help? One way to do it is tell people. If you have any mutual friends call in tears asking them to do the school run as dh refuses to. Make sure he can hear you. It’s so embarrassing to actually say this stuff to someone out loud but if you don’t all you are doing are covering for him. You need help and you need to ask for it.
I think this will be a moment you remember for the rest of your life. Make sure your foot heals so it doesn’t hurt for the rest of your life.

Feelingconfused2020 · 24/09/2020 23:29

I have just found this thread and can't believe 60% think yabu. I started a similar thread the other day about my dh who didn't come home from a "lads" ( they are in their 40s) weekend when our DD was taken to hospital.

I've struggled all week with my anger... He doesn't know. He's shown me that his priority is his social life and enjoyment. I wouldn't be able to enjoy a trip away if DH had broken his ankle and was stuck at home struggling with our small children. I wouldn't be able to enjoy a weekend away if my toddler got taken to hospital. These men don't seem to have this problem.

It's selfishness and it's hard to accept the man you chose to marry is selfish but I think I have finally accepted it. I won't ever look at him the same and I don't think I'll ever feel the same. I'm so hurt by this (and it's not isolated as I'm guessing yours isn't)

KarmaStar · 24/09/2020 23:34

Of course yanbu!!for goodness sake,he's a grown man,he knew very well he should have returned but wanted you to take the responsibility for him continuing on his jaunt so he can tell people he offered!
Can you get any help whilst he's away from family or friends?
I hope you have some strong pain killers and manage to get some sleep tonight op.

Sciencebabe · 25/09/2020 00:34

He was going out the door for what was probably an expensive stag do, away from the kids and wife for a few days. Let him be. It's sad that you broke your foot, but not the end of the world. You will survive you have your whole family around you helping, why do you need him to come back. How do you think single people/single parents survive when this happens.

I agree with him, tbh. You are ruining his fun time by dragging this out and constantly messaging him. He asked if you wanted him to stay and you said no. You are unreasonable for then getting upset and challenging his love for you.

He's home Sunday. Let him make it up to you from Sunday onwards. Don't paint him to be the bad man after you already declined his help.

CheeseAndOnionIcecream · 25/09/2020 00:46

I'm surprised that he even had to ask if you wanted him to come back. Imo,he should have just done so! But maybe my expectations are a bit high......

Yummyplainscones · 25/09/2020 00:58

I’m sorry about your foot OP, I hope you recover ASAP.
Your DH is a selfish and nasty pig. As soon as you fell he should have been checking you are okay and dropping everything else to look after the kids and take you to hospital.
He thinks nothing of you all having to go to your sisters to be looked after whilst he has a great time. Any self respecting man would be embarrassed at this behaviour.
It sounds like all he cares about is his needs and wants. It doesn’t sound like he adds any positives to your life. Ask yourself what is the point of him?
When he gets home tell him you want him to leave.
You will find a way to manage with your cast and the children, you do it all anyway.
Free yourself of this useless lump.

EarringsandLipstick · 25/09/2020 02:57

@Sciencebabe

It's sad that you broke your foot, but not the end of the world.

Hmm. What a goady post from you. It's sad she broke her foot, eh? would it be the 'end of the world' for her H to prioritise his wife & family over a drinking w/end actually 4 days with his mates?

Susannahmoody · 25/09/2020 03:02

Similar to the thread the other day - child had a seizure/fit and the dad went to the pub! What's with all these feckless men

Susannahmoody · 25/09/2020 03:04

You are ruining his fun time by dragging this out and constantly messaging him. He asked if you wanted him to stay and you said no. You are unreasonable for then getting upset and challenging his love for you

^
Eh???

Don't challenge ANYTHING, op. Sit down and be a good little girl with a broken foot and look after the 3 small kids whilst he's in Latvia or wherever.

thesecangettofuck · 25/09/2020 03:10

Your shitty partner is holding you back more than your foot op. He's a useless fecker and you know it.

Not a chance my dh would have left me with a broken foot. Sorry this has happened. I hope you get rid of him and realise your worth.

LunaNorth · 25/09/2020 03:16

He’s a pig.

I’d let him have his fun this weekend, in the full knowledge that he’ll be coming home to his bags on the doorstep.

I mean that, too. If your husband doesn’t have your back at a time like this, he’s no husband.

SmokeMirrors · 25/09/2020 03:22

How long is he on the stag do for?

SmokeMirrors · 25/09/2020 03:24

Nevermind ignpore me I skipped ahead

IHateCoronavirus · 25/09/2020 04:59

@Sciencebabe

He was going out the door for what was probably an expensive stag do, away from the kids and wife for a few days. Let him be. It's sad that you broke your foot, but not the end of the world. You will survive you have your whole family around you helping, why do you need him to come back. How do you think single people/single parents survive when this happens.

I agree with him, tbh. You are ruining his fun time by dragging this out and constantly messaging him. He asked if you wanted him to stay and you said no. You are unreasonable for then getting upset and challenging his love for you.

He's home Sunday. Let him make it up to you from Sunday onwards. Don't paint him to be the bad man after you already declined his help.

finding time to text from the stag do?

KatherineJaneway · 25/09/2020 06:21

Sounds a pretty miserable marriage tbh.

wombat1a · 25/09/2020 06:24

The thing is he isn't there to see how you are/how you are coping, therefore he has to ask if it's bad enough that he has to come back. He asked, you said no, he is not a mind reader. Alas you have shot yourself in the foot here.