Off he went!

[Electrixdreamz88]

I fell down the stairs this morning and after the initial shock of just carrying on the pain was unbearable so got to a and e and have broke my foot. DP is off on his friends stag today his lift came an hour after it happened. He was half hour into his journey when I told him the news of the break. We have a 7 year old 2 year old and ten month old. He did the whole do u
You need me to come back? I just said no as I know if he did come back he will be annoyed all weekend missing out...but really he should have came back right?

Well, that latest twist makes his position pretty clear. Has the respect and love gone or was it never really there?

Never play reverse psychology with a man. It never works. He asked, you said no.

What an arsehole. He really despises you.

My husband wouldn't ask he would just come back. I hope you don't have another emergency as with three little ones and a broken foot you are screwed.

Say what you mean, yes obviously you need to come back, then don't take any sulking from him when he does .

@Electrixdreamz88

I have now been told that I just don't want him to enjoy himself and that it was my own fault I fell and why should he have to pay for my stupidity. I knew he'd react like This. I've been told not to text him and let him have fun with his friends.

What on earth are you getting from being with him?

He does not love you.

@lottiegarbanzo

What an arsehole. He really despises you.

That’s awful. What’s wrong with you. I very much doubt he despises her for gods sake.

I very much doubt he despises her for gods sake

Based on?

Tell him to enjoy the rest as he has sole responsibility for the dc from Monday for the next 8 weeks.

Oh op I really feel for you. He sounds selfish and immature. Yes, you should have been up front and said you wanted home to stay at home but who would leave their partner and three small children for four days with a newly broken foot?
Not to mention him going for a four day piss up with a bunch of mates during a pandemic.
I’d be changing the locks.

How would he have reacted if he'd broken his foot just as you were leaving him in sole charge of three young children for 4 days?

Actually.. lets start there - has he ever been in charge of all three children by himself for 4 days? What about 1 day?

If he were in your position, do you think he'd be calmly getting on with things, or would he be melting your phone trying to guilt / shout / plead you to come back right this moment?

@Lweji

I very much doubt he despises her for gods sake

Based on?

Have you been drinking?

Honestly on here it’s like a parallel universe sometimes.

@Electrixdreamz88

Well I know if it was the other way about I would have been home with him. I'm not annoyed just a bit sad and stressed about how I'm getting through these next six weeks in a cast. I work full time but 80% of childcare is on me ie bringing them picking up sorting etc so I'm worried how I will manage this

Don’t shot me down, and not wanting to be mean to you OP, as I said before, it is a shock falling and frustrating to be in caste 💐 .....but there are a lot of folks implying that you can’t do anything. In about 48 hours any pain will go. Unless you have been told specifically to keep the foot elevated you should be mobilising- otherwise your muscles will waste and risk of DVT etc. I had to fly to Brazil on a broken foot due to work and manage in a hotel for 2 weeks. I also as not given allowance of time off work as GP said it wasn’t broken- that was when it was not diagnosed and not immobilised- 10 days after...not trying to make out I am brave or have high pain threshold here, but simply what I didn’t know meant I just had to get on with it and had to find ways to manage. Having a cast on means you need to think creatively and be prepared ahead for things, but you can cope, you will cope and it will pass very quickly

Never mind OP, if you ever decide to LTB you can get legal aid for divorce on grounds on unreasonable behaviour without resources being taken into account.

Remember to keep the texts to use as grounds.

If it meant sitting on a bus for 4 hours, I wouldn't be as inclined to come home early when I had asked if they wanted me to stay.

@Electrixdreamz88

I have now been told that I just don't want him to enjoy himself and that it was my own fault I fell and why should he have to pay for my stupidity. I knew he'd react like This. I've been told not to text him and let him have fun with his friends.

Could you get someone to move in with you to look after you and you change the locks and have all his stuff in bin bags on the doorstep when the selfish shit comes back?

Oh dear, I'm so sorry but this is not a guy you want alongside you in the trenches.
Bottom line is, he hasn't got your back. I suspect that you've known this deep-down all along, but this accident has brought it to the fore and there's no more hiding from it.
for you. (I've broken a leg and ankle before and I send you deep sympathies).

OP you're not in the wrong.
He is bloody awful.
Make him do all the work with kids when he's back while your foot heals and then make plans to get out of this appalling relationship.

Urgh what a wanker.
So bloody selfish - how could you possibly want to stay with him after this?
As you say in your previous post you're quite far down the pecking order of priorities and so are kids if he can happily leave them while you're in such bad shape.

I feel really sorry for you. Take it easy at your sister's xx

He sounds awful. Bad luck to have such a shit husband. Are you happy to do 80% normally? If not why are you staying with him? I know its not as easy as that to leave someone but he does sound really unpleasant.

He should have just offered but why did you say no? Smacks of being a martyr to be honest. Seems you have bigger issues as a couple of you already assumed he would react badly. The fact he blames you and is being nasty confirmed it. He doesn't sound like a nice man but you really should be honest about your needs.

My exdh was exactly the same. It took me a long time to realise he didn’t actually care about me as a human being - just the woman in the house that looks after the kids.

Have a good look at your relationship to see where you really stand with this man.

Hope your foot gets better soon and really do look in to physio for it as it can have lint lasting issues

I have now been told that I just don't want him to enjoy himself and that it was my own fault I fell and why should he have to pay for my stupidity. I knew he'd react like
This. I've been told not to text him and let him have fun with his friends.

Even if he thinks it was her own fault, there are his 3 DC to take into account. Assuming he's the father, they're his responsibility, too. Why should the OP's DSis step in just so he can go on his jollies??

He should not have started the journey until he knew you were ok. He should have turned back when he found out it was broken.

But you said go. Call him. Tell him you were wrong and he needs to come home.

It doesn’t smack of being a martyr to me.

It smacks as a woman who is used to doing way more than she should and is used to just getting on with it regardless if she is in pain or not.

OP I’d bet money on it there have been times when you’ve been ill or struggling with something and he has been zero help.

If he genuinely cared about you he would have stayed or at least followed them up when you were feeling right.

What would you have done in this situation if it was him that fell? If it’s not the same you really need to think about your relationship

When you’re better OP please leave this twat.

@Bluntness100

Did you see his replies? Would you write that to someone you care for?