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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help - other people's screaming children; what to do?

312 replies

Bessie123 · 09/10/2007 11:52

I live in a terraced house in London. Our street is quite noisy before midnight, but I usually get up for work at around 7.00, so I can go to sleep around 12-ish, avoid the noise on the street waking me up, get 7 hours, and that is fine.

A couple of weeks ago, our neighbours told me and dp that they are swapping bedrooms with their children (2yrs old and 3 yrs old) so that the children can have a bigger room. The children's new room is on the other side of mine and dp's bedroom wall.

The swap has obviously happened because I have been woken up before 5.00am 3 times in the last week by the 2 year old screaming for his mummy. The parents now sleep in the back bedroom the other side of the house and can't hear anything (I assume they can't; our back bedroom is v quiet and quite far from our bedroom).

I haven't been able to get back to sleep after the 2 year old's screaming has woken me up. I have no children, but am expecting my first in Feb and am more tired than usual anyway at the moment. My reduced sleep from the early wake up calls is making me exhausted and it's interfering with my work.

So, my question is how to deal with this: should I say something to the parents next door (and if so, what), or just put up with it? The neighbours also have a 7 month old baby, but her crying hasn't woken me up before; I can only assume that it is the 2 year old's stronger lungs that are the problem.

All advice welcome.

OP posts:
TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 12:23

no its not

bossykate · 09/10/2007 12:24

yeah, yeah, with knobs on

bozza · 09/10/2007 12:25

lovemygirls is a childminder. I am probably going to have to parp this thread because it is turning into a SAHMs having it soooo hard thread and all the going to work for a rest thing. Funny how much easier I found it to be on maternity leave than when I returned to work.

LoveMyGirls · 09/10/2007 12:26

Twig - Im a childminder.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 12:27

They chose to move rooms to fit their family best into their home.

bossykate · 09/10/2007 12:28

yes, soupy. what would the op like to do? come into their home and tell them which rooms they can and can't use?

bossykate · 09/10/2007 12:28
bozza · 09/10/2007 12:29

Having cunningly put "probably parp" into my post I can return and ask a question? Was the 2yo not bothering your lodger previously? Or do I not understand the layout of your house? And, thank goodness, for living in the north and being able to afford a detached house.

TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 12:30

oh that makes sense then

I was joshing Bozza / Bossykate .. have done both .. yadda yadda credentials for having an opinion

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 12:30

They are probably exhausted too. I know I am. Trust me, whatever you plan on saying is not going to go down well. Do not do it.

Paddlechick666 · 09/10/2007 12:30

oh god! you don't live next to me do you?

my dd is 2 (nearly) and this last week has begun waking between 5am and 6:30am and yelling for me.

I generally leave her for 15 mins or so (not yelling constantly of course) before going in.

Whoever's touting the "way to sort early waking in a 2yr old" please pass on what must be a trade secret coz I'd bloody love to know!

I have the same problem however it is with my childless neighbours and I get it every which way. Fish-wife like screaching when they're rowing, all night music when they're drunk (a lot) and very noisy make-up sex (not quite so often thankfully).

I've complained and they've complained back about my noisy 2yr old. It's true she is a bit shouty in the mornings but I try to quiten her down unless of course they've kept me up all night. In which case, loud clapping games in my bed at 6:30am seem entirely fair

TBH I do think YABU but I can empathise. If you complain you will only create bad feeling and in a few short months it might be your newborn waking their kids!!

Actually, there's a thought if you are really dead set on talking to them about it. Explain that you can hear the kids quite clearly and that you're worried your newborn will waken them thru the night if they don't switch rooms again!!

Otherwise, ride it out, get some earplugs and be grateful she's a SAHM who might be a tower of help and support when you LO arrives.

pps: not wishing to be a doomsayer but by the time their 2yr old grows out of it, their 7m old will be starting and by the time that one grows out of it yours will be starting LOL.

Maybe you should just move to the Outer Hebrides now?

TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 12:31
ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 12:32

The whole SAHM/WOHM thing is a classic Grass Is Always Greener scenario isn't it?

SAHMs can nap when their children are asleep and WOHMs can have a hot cup of coffee and a chat.

[Snort]

LoveMyGirls · 09/10/2007 12:32

{is it wrong to be secretly - well less secretly now... pleased that Bozza has remembered something about me}

On the whole who has it harder I think ............. women in general have it much harder.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 12:32
TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 12:33

I am Spartacus

ThePhantomToiletFlusher · 09/10/2007 12:34

Earplugs is the only answer!

Boots do some nice wax ones you can mould into shape.

They will come in handy once your newborn has made his entrance too! (That was a joke before you all slate me for being a Claire Verity follower)...........

TwigorTreat · 09/10/2007 12:34
Paddlechick666 · 09/10/2007 12:34

WOHMs get to go to the loo on their own.

This is the part of my job I value the most.

Honestly!

How about lone parent WOHMs do they have it the hardest?

anniebear · 09/10/2007 12:36

I dread what our Neighbours think of the noise from our house at mad hours

I keep waiting for social services to turn up!!!

edam · 09/10/2007 12:37

Are bunny alarm clocks any good for 2yos? I've heard reports they are handy but can't remember if that was older children. I've donated my daylight alarm clock to ds - you can set it to come on ever so gradually in the morning, so you wake naturally. If he wakes up and it's not daylight, it's not waking up time. I can't remember what age he was when we handed it over, though.

I really bloody miss having it myself in winter, a much gentler way to to wake up.

ProfYaffle · 09/10/2007 12:37

I have the same problem with my neighbour. She moved her little boy into the room next door to ours and he's up yelling and crying at various points during the night.

I haven't said anything because at the time dd2 was due anyday and I figured that once she was here I wouldn't be in any position to complain about noise. Also, what could she do about it? If she could put a stop to it she would.

tbh I've found I've got used to it, I can tell the difference between my dds and her ds and I screen him out (like the chickens on the other side )

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 12:39

That depends whether your child is a child who can be reasoned with. BabyDragon certainly isn't, she is a law unto herself. I can't help thinking she'd pull the bunny's ears off to see if he woke up.

zookeeper · 09/10/2007 12:43

I really wouldn't say anything because your next door neighbour must be indescribably knackered too (believe me she won't be napping in the afternoon).

If it was going to be permanent then that would be different. In the meantime could you not put your furniture against the wall which may at least deaden the noise a bit? Or buy earpugs?

Paddlechick666 · 09/10/2007 12:43

wouldn't work with Little Paddle. She can wake at other times of the night but will settle herself again after a few mins of moaning a bit.

once she starts to call for me then as far as she's concerned the day has begun, for everyone!

am moving soon and will only have a downstairs neighbour one sideways neighbour and i think it will be their lounge next to dd's room. if it proves noisy i can move dd to "my" room which has no party wall with anyone. can't wait!

at that point she'll go into a bed and i will start teaching her to play with some toys quietly etc when she wakes up.

hopefully it'll work