Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this woman was very selfish

392 replies

littlemsattitude · 19/09/2020 17:28

This morning at the petrol station she was in the shop with her husband, they walked round several of the aisles without buying anything and then she went with him to pay for the petrol, he was wearing a mask and she didn't. He paid for the petrol and they didn't buy anything else.

She should have waited in the car, there was no reason for them both to be in the shop Angry

OP posts:
Chestergirl39 · 20/09/2020 12:09

If her husband was wearing a mask and she wasn’t she was probably exempt. If she needed to go and look for something, I still think it’s polite to do that and then leave the shop as soon as you’ve found it and leave the mask wearer to pay where possible. Obviously if you’re on your own without a mask and exempt that’s unavoidable. It’s about managing risk, every potential close contact is a potential risk.

On a separate note, we do seem to have a larger proportion of exempt mask wearers in our country compared to others. Why is this? I have friends and family with asthma and chest probs who all wear masks when they are in shops. It’s probably different wearing them all day, or if your condition is severe....but then if it’s that severe you’d be very high risk if you caught the virus, so spending too long in shops or any public indoor place is probably not a good idea.

RubyAberdeen · 20/09/2020 12:11

Did she leave her car at the petrol pump while she went in to browse though?

Because that really is selfish and annoying.

Cadent · 20/09/2020 14:07

@RubyAberdeen maybe it wasn’t her car?

BronwenFrideswide · 20/09/2020 15:31

I can see why people have accused the OP of behaving like a totalitarian authoritarian. The OP set herself up as Judge, Jury and Executioner and deemed that the woman in question should have stayed in the car and had no reason to be in the shop based on no knowledge or evidence as to why the woman:

a) was not wearing a mask
b) why she accompanied her husband into to the shop

(a) and (b) are none of the OP's business nor are they within her decision making gift or power, both the above are decisions for the woman in question and her alone to make not the OP.

Neither the OP nor any who support her on this thread have the right to decide who should or shouldn't wear a mask, ask questions as to why they are not wearing a mask, or dictate which premises they may or may not enter without one or whether they accompany someone else into the premises.

Mittens030869 · 20/09/2020 15:52

I think the OP's mistake was focusing on this particular woman, as she doesn't know her circumstances, hence she is coming across as judgemental. And I think she is being judgemental in this instance. But nevertheless, there is an issue with too many people not wearing masks, unlike in other countries, at a time when COVID is on the rise again and we appear to be facing a second wave. It appears that there are a lot of people who are in denial about this.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 20/09/2020 15:59

How do you know it was her husband she was with? Maybe it was a relative or a friend. She popped in to get something for herself, didn't fancy what was on offer and waited until he had paid for the petrol before returning to a car that may have been locked.

Lolwhat · 20/09/2020 16:13

I sometimes go to the shop with my OH because I’m not able to do it on my own, I have a chronic health condition but look completely normal, my body could dislocate at any time or I could suddenly get very dizzy and sick, I need him with me if that happens, she might of just fancied getting out for a little while

Ghostoast · 20/09/2020 16:17

Ew, if I catch anyone glaring and judging at my ASD relative because they aren't wearing a mask I won't be able to keep my mouth shut. You wouldn't know anthing was "wrong" with them by looking, it's actually got nothing to do with you.

Whammyyammy · 20/09/2020 16:20

Nobody knows the lady in the shops back story and why she wasn't wearing a mask.
Its her business, nobody else's as to why she was not wearing a mask.
OP have you signed up to be a covid warden yet?

MrsClatterbuck · 20/09/2020 16:53

Saw similar just into lockdown when queuing into supermarket. Man wandering around store with no basket hands in his pockets. I was socially distancing in queue and he was just standing there not looking at anything. Must have felt my eyes on him as he then scuttled off. Aisles were not very wide.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 20/09/2020 20:38

Must have felt my eyes on him as he then scuttled off

GrinGrinGrin Well done!

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 20/09/2020 20:40

Soon we will be paid to snitch on shoppers without masks.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/09/2020 21:59

Don't judge a book by its cover

Legoandloldolls · 20/09/2020 22:03

@Readytogogogo

This sort of attitude becoming more acceptable is really beginning to alarm me. You have no idea what is going on in her life.
Me too. But it surfaced pretty fast from the first lockdown.

It's become perfectly fine to bitch and gossip now. The only bonus is it's like the curtain twitches have put their hands up so you know who to guard yourself against going forward

VinylDetective · 20/09/2020 22:26

Not only that but it’s state endorsed now. Priti Patel is encouraging it.

Mcarthurpark · 20/09/2020 23:01

OP, I can see that this bothered you. Fair enough. But you didn't confront the woman there and then??. So why worry about it now? I don't understand

AdoreTheBeach · 21/09/2020 11:08

OP, I originally voted YABU. However, my area is now having big increase in the virus and may go in lock down. On the local radio they’re playing adverts funded by a European development fund. The adverts are about shopping locally. They’re advising, amongst other things, to shop alone and to wear masks. This is to help reduce chances if transmission

So I’m changing my vote. F people cannot wear a mask and they have the opportunity to have someone else do their shopping fir them, well then during a pandemic I think they’re bloody selfish. Just because they think they can’t wear a mask does not man they cannot get the virus and pass it on.

If this were back in April or May, I know for certain all these people telling you YABU and practically berating you for feeling as you did on this occasion, would be answering very different

Well guess what, the virus is spreading a lot again We’re now having more local lock downs. If people took more care, we wouldn’t be in this situation.

So OP YANBU

CatRamsey · 21/09/2020 11:16

You do realise some people are unable to wear masks OP.

Cadent · 21/09/2020 12:50

@Mcarthurpark

OP, I can see that this bothered you. Fair enough. But you didn't confront the woman there and then??. So why worry about it now? I don't understand
Because she would have to scurry away like a mouse when the woman rightfully would have told her to mind her own business.
iluvgab · 21/09/2020 13:00

If this were back in April or May, I know for certain all these people telling you YABU and practically berating you for feeling as you did on this occasion, would be answering very different

How can you know this "for certain"?
I for one think the OP is BU although I did not berate her. I would have said exactly the same thing back in April or May although the UK did not have compulsory masks at that point anyway.

The OP does not know the reason why the woman was not wearing the mask. She also does not know the reason why the woman felt it necessary to go into the shop with her partner.

Cadent · 21/09/2020 13:05

If this were back in April or May, I know for certain all these people telling you YABU and practically berating you for feeling as you did on this occasion, would be answering very different

Well I was on some of those threads and I didn’t answer any differently then.

BillywilliamV · 21/09/2020 13:06

This is the sort of post that makes me wish that the Coronavirus was just a bit more virulent, so that there was a real chance that the human race could end!

Spidey66 · 21/09/2020 13:45

Really?

She could have wanted something in particular but her husband didn't know what she was on about, but when they looked it wasn't there.

She could have been exempt from masks.

DominaShantotto · 21/09/2020 13:57

AIBU to think that posting someone else's life on the internet so I can seek e-validation for my own ego by subjecting someone else to vitriol and scrutiny of their medical history and potential mental health conditions is selfish.

Yes, you are.

Chestergirl39 · 21/09/2020 14:22

@DominaShantotto

That’s a little bit OTT don’t you think? She hardly named the woman or stated her location!

I’ve been out shopping into our town this morning, to 3 shops and a supermarket. Have seen a large number of people all doing the same, all different ages, ethnicities, some disabled, some able bodied. They were ALL wearing masks, I didn’t see one without. I’m sure that plenty had medical conditions but they all seemed to be managing just fine.

I’ve also been into my work, at a hospital. Lots of people waiting for tests and investigations, probably with varying medical histories. ALL wearing masks.

If someone is truly exempt, I’m sorry but in the current climate it’s probably advisable to not be indoors in a public place unless they have no other choice. For their own protection as much as the risk to others.