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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this woman was very selfish

392 replies

littlemsattitude · 19/09/2020 17:28

This morning at the petrol station she was in the shop with her husband, they walked round several of the aisles without buying anything and then she went with him to pay for the petrol, he was wearing a mask and she didn't. He paid for the petrol and they didn't buy anything else.

She should have waited in the car, there was no reason for them both to be in the shop Angry

OP posts:
littlemsattitude · 19/09/2020 23:05

@HugeAckmansWife

I think you want to deflect attention from the original nastiness of your op by saying 'yeah but they did worse'. I'm a teacher and a parent to two kids and divorced from a fuckwit narcissist who always deflected, it's pretty standard.
No, I stand by what I said. However somebody else said this thread has brought the worst out in people and I agreed because a pp calling me hitler is obviously completely unacceptable. I am entitled to say I think somebody is selfish, nobody is entitled to call me hitler. That's why my op has not been deleted when the unacceptable comment calling me hitler has been.
OP posts:
CoopsMalloops · 19/09/2020 23:05

Perhaps she was looking for something.

Honestly OP? Get a life.

littlemsattitude · 19/09/2020 23:06

Thank you for your apology.

OP posts:
ellieboulou33 · 19/09/2020 23:08

Maybe she was a victim of domestic abuse and was forced to go in the shop with her partner.

Maybe she is the abuser and wouldn't let her husband go alone but herself was exempt from mask wearing.

Maybe she has panic attacks or mental health issues and can't / won't stay alone.

Maybe she was just a selfish cow

Thing is, you just don't know.

Maybe you are completely over reacting and are slightly deranged yourself?

Who knows! but YABU

Thewomeninthemirror · 19/09/2020 23:12

FML! Either get a grip or never leave your house again!

Gladysthesphinx · 19/09/2020 23:16

The GDR called & wants the OP back.....

Havaiana · 19/09/2020 23:26

You need to be robustly challenged OP so people understand that no one has the right to question ANYONE about why they're not wearing a mask.

I'm one of the lucky ones who can wear a cotton cloth mask quite happily for a couple of hours but I understand that a lot of people can't. Neither I or YOU deserve a reward for this or a pat on the back or to start a slagging off thread so you can feel how superior you are.

And it's funny how these threads always target women.

happythankyoumoreplease · 19/09/2020 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RegularHumanBartender · 19/09/2020 23:29

BUT, i do think it’s a bit rude to go near the till without a mask if you have someone else that can pay. Sorry but it is

Is it? Was it rude in March, April and May when we didn't have to wear masks?

BetterCare · 19/09/2020 23:31

This is now getting beyond ridiculous.

OP simply asked if it was selfish for someone to be in a small garage shop without a mask on when they were with someone who was wearing a mask who could have perhaps shopped and paid on their own.

People are now accusing her of snitching in Nazi Germany and starting a dictorial state.

I suspect OP would not have raised the point if the person was on their own without a mask.

I also suspect if they were in a spacious supermarket she would not have created a post.

The point is about scale. This was a small shop, so at some point, even if they was a 99% chance she was exempt from wearing a mask. They may have even needed to make a choice as to what they were going to buy together. But when they were both stood in a queue together maybe she could have gone and sat in the car whilst he paid alone.

I had the same scenario just the other day. In a tiny garage shop. The woman wearing a mask, the man not. They stood in the queue for the till behind me snogging the face off of one another (she still had a mask on). At that point I did think to myself perhaps he could go and sit in the car and she could pay on her own. Especially as the shop has a traffic light system and there were people waiting outside on a red light.

According to some of the responses on this thread it now makes me a dictator.

Whilst there are people who are exempt, of course there are scenarios where people need to be together but there are are also a huge number lacking in a little thought, consideration and knowledge as to how some small actions and choices can have a huge impact on someone else’s life.

everythingisginandroses · 19/09/2020 23:32

Things were better back in March, April and May, right? Raving about the Stasi and Nazis to make yourself look righteous is also rude and ridiculous.

littlemsattitude · 19/09/2020 23:34

@happythankyoumoreplease

I'm calling you Stasi as we need to remember what happened in the past so it doesn't happen again. Naziism was only able to flourish because of their helpful little spies, people grassing up their neighbours etc.
Where is your evidence that I have done any of those things ?

You have no reason to describe me the way that you have.

OP posts:
CathTurnbull · 19/09/2020 23:37

I don’t think she was ‘very selfish’ but it was clearly unnecessary to leave the car. I really wouldn’t be getting too worked up about it

Kinny14 · 19/09/2020 23:40

Oh ffs get a grip. Maybe it’s her only outlet for the day. Maybe a billion and one reasons and not one of them is your business

Cotswolds10 · 19/09/2020 23:55

@BetterCare If you read my post carefully, you’ll note I said that this is how dictatorial states start. I didn’t accuse OP of starting a dictatorial state. If you apply verbal reasoning skills, you’ll accept that there is an enormous difference.

Ginnymweasley · 20/09/2020 00:02

My friend is exempt from wearing a mask. He gets asked daily why he isnt wearing one, he has been called a selfish twat while shopping in tesco. He can't breathe with a mask on ffs. I can't imagine getting this worked up about other peoples choices or lives. At the beginning of all of this I thought we were starting to see the vest of people, now all I can see is the worst. People being abusive towards others, acting superior etc. Its not a nice look.

Blackberrycream · 20/09/2020 00:02

Well said.
Some of these responses are ridiculously pompous.
It has brought out the worst in some people as one poster so aptly said 😂

Blackberrycream · 20/09/2020 00:03

I was referring to Bettercares post

Barrowmanfan22 · 20/09/2020 00:06

OP, YANBU. You should have gone over immediately and she should have presented you with her reasons for being in the shop and unmasked and you and your fellow judgement panel could have decided whether or not she will be allowed to do that again.

As with a few threads recently , you should be pleased that you have time and headspace to give a monkeys about this.

Barrowmanfan22 · 20/09/2020 00:08

@HugeAckmansWife

Do you know what, yesterday, about 8.30 am I popped into Lidl for a couple of things I was thinking about the short time window I had, the work day ahead of me, how DS wad getting in at his new school, if I needed a bag or could just use my handbag for what I was buying. I was halfway round the pretty empty shop before I realised I hadn't got a mask on. I'm not selfish, or don't care or anything else, I just forgot. I'm sure some on here would say ive basically murdered someone, but maybe a bit of perspective of REAL risk is needed. As I said upthread, momentarily passing someone who isn't wearing a mask is really not going to cause an infection unless they a) have it and b) deliberately cough sneezenear you or lick you. The few % of people who aren't wearing masks in a supermarket are not what is causing the spread.
I did the same. Was distracted following a hellish day in work and realised a few minutes in. Didn't occur to me that il be posted about on Mumsnet and judged to within an inch of my life.
Blackberrycream · 20/09/2020 00:08

Cotswold 10
It is ok to disagree but not really ok to patronise people. I think most of us have verbal reasoning skills and are aware of history.
We just don’t agree with your view.

BetterCare · 20/09/2020 00:11

@Cotswolds10 dictorial states start because someone asks a question on Mumsnet?

She didn’t snitch to anyone, she didn’t mentioned any names, she didn’t phone the police and she didn’t speak directly to the couple involved. She simply asked a question on a forum.

From that yourself and other posters have leapt to mentioning the Nazis and dictorial states.

I am quite happy with my verbal reasoning skills.

Havaiana · 20/09/2020 00:15

@Blackberrycream tbf, @happythankyoumoreplease did only say Nazism started with people grassing each other up. You then exaggerated that into her saying OP was snitching in Nazi Germany. I think that's pretty pompous.

Someone on my local page referred to people who don't wear masks as 'retards' and videotaped them. I suppose it's pompous to pull them up on that.

lilmoopoo · 20/09/2020 00:19

Did you really think that posting something like this would get everyone on your side? There could be multiple reasons why they were both in the shop together. The lady was probably exempt from wearing a mask, the fact her husband was wearing one shoes they weren't purely being ignorant.

How about showing a little understanding? My son doesn't have to wear a mask. Do I have to tell him that he isn't aloud a little normalcy during these rather stressful times? Some people are physically unable to wear them.

You need to seriously get over yourself, if your that worried by other people's actions without showing the slightest hint of understanding perhaps you should be the one to stay indoors

happythankyoumoreplease · 20/09/2020 00:19

It's a slippery slope though that starts with normalising this type of attitude...

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