How would you feel if your Dh did this?

[Autumnsunshineday]

So imagine whilst out you go to a sandwich shop with your dc and Dh. Dh agrees to go in and buy the food while you wait outside with the dc.

You ask Dh to get you a cheese sandwich, second option would be a chicken sandwich or any other type of sandwich. The dc choose a sandwich each too. Dh wants a sausage roll.

Instead of sandwiches your Dh comes out with a sausage roll each for everyone. You don't like sausage rolls, you never have. So you tell your Dh you don't like sausage rolls. He then tells you that the shop had no sandwiches, and you're just being fussy. You question the fact that a sandwich shop would have no sandwiches, at all, but your Dh insists they had no sandwiches at all, the shops useless, they've run out of sandwiches, he even asked them to make one but they wouldn't.

So you say you'll nip in yourself and get something else, your Dh then tries to stop you, berating you for not just eating the sausage roll.

When you go into the shop, they are actually fully stocked with every variety sandwiches. Turns out your Dh just couldn't be bothered to pick up the different sandwiches.

Sausage rolls are often 2 for 1, is he generally tight? are you short on money?
The lying would piss me off, he could have got 4 sausage rolls and eaten 2 and got you a sandwich cheaper than getting 4 sandwiches. He could have just said "I was trying to save money"

I've been trying to think of something to say back to this...
It's just... Weird. Why? What's the point of all the convincing you to eat the sausage roll and stop you goin back in..

I would be livid.

it's very stressful remembering 4 peoples sandwiches This is the worst excuse. He's just lazy and doesn't care enough.

but he has occasionally lied about ridiculous pointless things like this. The (pointless) lying would really piss me off. It shows a lack of respect for you.

What a really weird thing to do and the extended reasons of the shop assistant refusing to make sandwiches, so bizarre!

I'm puzzled as to how he thought he'd get away with it to be honest....

A sandwich shop that doesn't sell sandwiches

It not just the laziness that would piss me off but the underlying sub text that I was so stupid/gullible I'd accept an utterly ridiculous lie.

@lioncitygirl

I would think he was a cunt.

That made me howl

It's one of those she left me because I didn't do the washing up things isnt it. Not worth making a big deal over but it chips away at your affection for him over the years. Then one day he leaves his pants on the floor next to the washing basket and you grab the kids and leave.

Once my ex brought me a packet of crisps he knew I didn’t like. We were out with some family members and he and another relative asked everyone what they would like from the bar, drinks and snacks. I requested mine and he came back with no drink for me (he forgot) and a packet of crisps which he knew I didn’t like and had never eaten in our 8 year relationship.

He ended things with me less than a month later but I clearly remember at the time of the crisp incident thinking that I seemed so unimportant and insignificant to him.

Sometimes the smallest of situations can signify much greater emotions.

I'd have binned the sausage rolls and gone in myself to get what I wanted.

He's a dick

it's very stressful remembering 4 peoples sandwiches

Whaaaat. Could he at least have tried to remember the word sandwich and got a few different ones then most likely you’d have ended up with something you like.

His behaviour would only just be ok if there had been a row in the car and he gave up and went in without waiting for everyone to chose.

My dad used to get into a complete panic if he had to go and give several people's orders at the pub. He'd panic, forget stuff, not know the answers to questions but be too embarrassed to ask so would get cross instead. We've learnt to send somebody else or (if he insists he'll go) send a second person along to help him. Could your dh have got himself all flustered and embarrassed then felt like a twerp afterwards?? It sounds a bit like it if he isn't normally like this.

I think he was being a lazy tight shit but it’s not the end of the world

It may not be the end of the world, but being married to "a lazy tight shit" is not what I'd want for my own life so I can completely understand why OP is upset.

It's not about the sandwich at all. It's about the fact that he has so little care and consideration for his wife and family that even grabbing a couple of items off a shelf in a shop he was already in anyway was too much trouble for him. So he decided they'd have to eat what he wanted to eat, because clearly his preferences are important but no one else are. It's also about the fact that he then covered this up with a pathetic lie and when challenged expanded on the lie (the stuff about the lady refusing to make a sandwich) so ultimately, he's willing to put more effort into lying to OP than it would have taken to just get her the fucking sandwich.

These are the actions of a massive prick.

I would think next time he can wait and I’d go in - but I would be logging it. Absolutely awful behaviour. My ex did it constantly. He’s an ex for a reason

That's so annoying! Why would he do that! It's immature if you ask me. That would really irritate me.

Certainly wouldnt be calling him 'darling' Husband like you are

it's very stresssful remembering 4 people's sandwiches

My DH would be able to do this at all without writing it down.

Christ, what a dick.

You sound normal.

He sounds really weird.

Oops! Would not be able to do it without writing it down.

Was it the sort of shop that asks you what sort of bread you want etc too?

I'm thinking he just felt overwhelmed in there

I'd think he was really stupid for telling such an obvious lie. It's three year level of behaviour. I'd lose respect for him.

I think it was thoughtless and but be more annoyed he lied and even though it's only a sandwich, it will damage my trust in them over time.

If I'm putting in orders for several people and think I might not remember them, I make a note of them on my phone. How hard would it have been to type 'cheese or chicken, ham, barbecue chicken' or whatever before he went into the shop?

This is that brand of man who decides it's TOO HARD for him to manage things that require any level of mental effort on other people's behalf. I can see he's not like this all the time, but it doesn't bode well. At least he's apologised and tried to make up for it though which is better.

@Bargebill19

He was a total w**ker - in fact I would ignore them and actively give him stuff he hates, until he got the message to actually put himself out and think of others for a change.

This - in Spades!

He would never get a meal he liked again, even if it meant cooking him a different one to what I was serving myself and the kids.

I'd put kale in everything!

Was it the sort of shop that asks you what sort of bread you want etc too? I'm thinking he just felt overwhelmed in there

And yet we still have the gender pay gap. Incredible.