live streamed funeral without my permission

[geeta2002]

my father in law died two weeks ago of terminal cancer, we held his funeral yesterday and as a family decided not to live stream his funeral, all the people that mattered to him and supported us as a family attended. His dying wish was that he didn't want his ex-wife who he hated to attend the funeral, but she phoned the crematorium up and managed to get the live stream set up without our permission. She then passed this onto 'family and friends'.
Myself, my husband and my sister-in-law are very strict with 'broadcasting' our children over social media or any form of streaming over the internet yet this was done again without our permission. My husband is ready to sue the crematorium but do we have a leg to stand on?

Funerals arent always public and you can certainly restrict attendance.

This raises privacy issues and compliance with data protection laws so I would certainly complain.

People who work in crematoria and funeral directors have said differently.
I can only comment in GDPR and it is, like most "it's a GDPR thing!!!" posts, not.

I would be very upset about this too. Although the children’s privacy comments are a bit silly as they would not have been in shot anyway and presumably they have been seen many times by all kinds of people whenever they go anywhere.

I am struggling to see how it happened though as I am currently in the process of organising a funeral. Firstly I make all the arrangements with the funeral director not the crematorium directly, in fact I have had no contact with them at all. Due to covid the FD brought up the subject of a webcast and acted on my instructions as the executor and next of kin, I have decided to have one and it cost £80. Had I said no, I cannot believe that the FD would have set it up anyway at the request of somebody else.

This is all very upsetting but could easily become an outlet for your grief in the days going forward, which would not be healthy at all.
Many of us don't understand the concern about a child being briefly seen on a stream by its grandmother. Allowing people to come who had "supported you" sufficiently really is a way of settling scores. The crematorium acted badly by not seeking your permission, but if you focus on this I feel it will be to your own detriment.

@TheSeedsOfADream

I am not really sure what you are saying is not true.

However you seem to be referring to uninvited guests. I have just completed the track and trace form for the funeral I am currently organising and have been clearly told that nobody else will be allowed in.

There was another family funeral at the end of August, held in a different part of the country’s different FD, different crematorium but the exact same rules. Not on list and you won’t be let in.

Sounds like your FD / crematorium or church might not have been following the rules.

If explicit instructions weren't given to FD or crematorium then it wasn't their fault. They should really have checked first but they didn't, which is not good.

we have had an update on what happened, a relative from America who he lost contact with emailed the crematorium and received the link two hours before the funeral. The crem contacted the funeral home and because we did not specifically say no the FD gave the video link out, she then distributed it to who she thought would want it. However the crem said it still should not have been given out without us saying a definite yes.
The crem were very understanding and said this should not have happened an they will be contacting the FD tomorrow (Monday).
As for people saying we are holding a grudge and it is a family feud we have not in fact fallen out with anyone we just want to get to the bottom of what has happened especially as we going to be charged for it.

As for people saying we are holding a grudge and it is a family feud we have not in fact fallen out with anyone we just want to get to the bottom of what has happened especially as we going to be charged for it.
So what was all that bilge about privacy and having to protect your children at all costs?
And it's now a relative from America, not the ex wife?!
It's done, move on.

The crem have apologised to you but are still charging you for it? Pull the other one.

Your initial story was that the Wicked Stepmother "phoned them and paid a fee". Now it's a previously unknown character from America, who didn't pay the fee so they're charging you instead?
I think you're full of what makes the grass grow green, personally.
Good liars know to stick to the same story 😂

A relative from America that he had lost contact with both knew he had died and also knew what crematorium was being used.

'And it's now a relative from America, not the ex wife?!'

I assume that the relative from America had obtained the information from the crematorium and then passed it on to the ex-wife. Very likely the ex-wife had asked the relative to do so, because she knew that people might become suspicious if she asked the crematorium/ FD directly.

Blimey
What a sorry tale
Stay safe OP

ah, that makes it slightly better really op.

please let it go

Yep, the OP will be charged for it, even if the crem did apologise.
The FD will add it to the invoice.

OP you could try getting the fee wavered by stating that you didn’t request the live streaming and if they’d have contacted you, you would’ve declined.

Also worth asking which option she went for because you can choose to just watch the service, have a 28 day play back and you can even order a DVD or a flash drive for an extra fee.

The OP didn't know the situation at first. She has now been informed. I think it puts the crem in a slightly better light, and makes it even less likely that the OP could sue. It also almost certainly suggests that the stepmother has been quite manipulative and conniving. Finding out new information doesn't make the OP a 'liar' however.

the FD gave the video link out

The OP originally said that they did not organise a live feed. They didn't want one. So how could it have been given out?

The crem contacted the funeral home and because we did not specifically say no the FD gave the video link out, she then distributed it to who she thought would want it.

So you never told the FD that you didn't want the service to be streamed?

we held his funeral yesterday and as a family decided not to live stream his funeral, all the people that mattered to him and supported us as a family attended

According to this ^^ there wasn't a streaming option used

@ChicCroissant

The crem contacted the funeral home and because we did not specifically say no the FD gave the video link out, she then distributed it to who she thought would want it.

So you never told the FD that you didn't want the service to be streamed?

You have to OPT IN

Not OPT OUT

Possibly in pre-Covid times?

Only the person who arranged the funeral should have been able to do this , but it is a paid for service so I suppose there is an incentive for them to let someone do it

Having buried a loved one during covid restrictions. I was never asked about any live streaming. There was no one routinely recording the ceremony not would I be happy to pay for it or have the decision taken out only hands.

I'm confused. Why would there be a link, if there was no streaming to be done?

I call bollocks.

Also would love to know what law OP was going to "sue" the Crematorium under.