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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband failed drug test-swears its wrong

169 replies

Whatwouldyoudo8988 · 19/09/2020 10:53

My husband has had a drug problem for a few years. About 3 years ago he did it in the house whilst the children were asleep and I was in the shower, he had overdosed, paramedic came out and the called SS as obviously there were children.
I threw him out
He went to doctors and got some medicine sorted for his depression and anxiety, and got completely off the drugs.
I had him back but the trust was broken so I order some drug test online which I did everyweek to know that he was staying away from them.
Hes been fine and relationship has gotten much better i haven't drug tested him this year.
Yesterday he seemed off so I asked if didnt mind doing a drug test he did it and it came back positive for drugs. He was shocked saying he hadn't touched anything, i check the date expiry on them and they are in date, i did one and it came out negative.
Hes lying isn't he?
What shall I do? He swears its wrong
How can I know the truth, I can't have that shit around my kids.
Do these tests ever come out wrong?
Please advise me

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/09/2020 14:45

@BatShite

Personally, if my husband ever put the kids at risk by doing something so stupid, he would be out the door never to return.

However, on the tests, I think yours was a false negative if 2 others showed positive.

Eh? The two positive were his. The negative hers. Did you not read it correctly?
BatShite · 19/09/2020 14:48

Eh? The two positive were his. The negative hers. Did you not read it correctly?

FFS

I read this as he did the test himself twice. Then she did it (on him)

Been a long time since I misread soethinglike that Blush

RepDom21 · 19/09/2020 14:54

@Karwomannghia

Something made you test him, so I would say he has.
Exactly.... and for him to continue the lie.
GallusAlice79 · 19/09/2020 15:00

@mamette

I think you'll find she hadn't clarified that when I posted.

anorangeaday · 19/09/2020 15:02

He needs to leave, you can’t have this around your DC

Hipsterpotamus · 19/09/2020 15:05

Antihistamines can cause false positives in drug tests.

Which ones is he on?

Can you get him tested at a private drug clinic and let them know the full list of medications he is on?

(I know this as I take anti histamines and I get drugs tested for work regularly... Mine have to get sent away rather than be done "in house" and I always have to do multiple samples to be sent away)

Hipsterpotamus · 19/09/2020 15:06

@Whatwouldyoudo8988 Read my post above please (just in case you miss it).

Does the test specifically test you for different drugs, or just say positive/negative for any drug?

Vector5 · 19/09/2020 15:09

Addicts are liars. You've got to test him to try and figure out what's going on because you can't trust him to be honest. That's the rest of your life If you let it go.

MagpieSong · 19/09/2020 15:10

I believe cocaine is quite hard to get a false positive for, unless a professional has used a specific topical analgesic. Amphetamines can be caused by over the counter cold medicines quinine among other things, while opiates can also be cough medications (less commonly in UK) and co-codomol among other things. Some antidepressants can give false positives as either an amphetamine or benzo dependent on the medication used, even occasionally as a hallucigen.

I think (if I read your second post right and it was cocaine) it is very, very unlikely. I think you've got two paths really, ask him to leave or that he immediately seeks professional help. So sorry, OP, it must be really tough for you.

AlternativePerspective · 19/09/2020 15:14

You’re drug testing your husband on a weekly basis. The relationship was over three years ago when you started doing that.

It’s not a marriage if this is how you live. The man is a coke head, he was a coke head three years ago and you took him back. Why?

Even if he’s not using, living in a marriage where you feel you have to drug test your husband whenever he acts a bit off is madness.

I had no idea you could buy drug tests online....

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudo8988 · 19/09/2020 15:14

Its a specific one for cocaine, one line is negative and 2 lines is positive for cocaine

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldyoudo8988 · 19/09/2020 15:16

I meant that the other way around, my heads all over the place

OP posts:
Hipsterpotamus · 19/09/2020 15:19

@Whatwouldyoudo8988 Sorry, that does not sound good. I would still get a professionally lab-tested sample done before any big decisions are made.

Wishing you all the very best.

PrincessForADay · 19/09/2020 15:21

He's lying.

goingtotown · 19/09/2020 15:26

Stop kidding yourself0P He’s used drugs & he’s a liar.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 15:35

This is why DIY drug testing kits for home use are pointless.
They undermine trust- if a partner or child is being tested, it smacks of control and chances are the tests aren’t as accurate as NHS ones.
There are ways of cheating urine tests - won’t mention them here- but the main issue is the undermining of trust and what happens if a positive result is given, as here?

It causes stress and possible aggression- they are not at all a good idea.

A professional drugs agency is much better for such testing to be done, but the bottom line is that people can and DO Change.

But it takes a lot of self honesty to do so.

Denial goes hand in hand with active addiction.

“” It’s only a line, it’s not Crack”
“It’s my birthday, it’s a one off”
“Alcohol is worse! At least I’m not a drinker” &c

Maybe Cocaine Anonymous May help him?

If you can’t live with the stress, OP, then consider yourself divorcing.

Is it a lapse? Or a serious relapse?
Professional help is needed.. to take pressure off you.

catnoir1 · 19/09/2020 15:44

What drug did he test positive for?

BornOnThe4thJuly · 19/09/2020 15:44

Addicts lie as much as they breath???

Where do people come up with bullshit like this from?

iklboo · 19/09/2020 15:49

@catnoir1 - OP has already said cocaine.

lostguider · 19/09/2020 15:57

Citalopram can produce false positives on drugs test.

Prettybubblesintheair · 19/09/2020 15:58

I’m sorry op, I think you already knew before you tested him. Hope you’re ok Flowers

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 19/09/2020 16:02

Op, ring a pharmacist and have his prescriptions handy to ask whether they would make a false positive on a cocaine drug test.

Don't bother talking to him about it. If he's lying, he will just keep lying because he knows you're doubting the test.

Sorry this is happening to you.

Remember you don't have to.make a decision today. You can also make a decision, and then change your mind. Also... you don't owe him your decision or even agreement/disagreement with his lies. You can keep your own counsel here.

All the best.

Undergrad20 · 19/09/2020 16:12

My brother is a coke head and he is the most manipulative person I’ve ever met. He ruined our family. Don’t let your partner ruin yours.

Torvean32 · 19/09/2020 16:26

The tests are correct. He's lying to you.

iklboo · 19/09/2020 16:28

Citalopram can produce false positives on drugs test.

Not for coke it can't.