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Original poster

Husband failed drug test-swears its wrong

169 replies

Whatwouldyoudo8988 · 19/09/2020 10:53

My husband has had a drug problem for a few years. About 3 years ago he did it in the house whilst the children were asleep and I was in the shower, he had overdosed, paramedic came out and the called SS as obviously there were children.
I threw him out
He went to doctors and got some medicine sorted for his depression and anxiety, and got completely off the drugs.
I had him back but the trust was broken so I order some drug test online which I did everyweek to know that he was staying away from them.
Hes been fine and relationship has gotten much better i haven't drug tested him this year.
Yesterday he seemed off so I asked if didnt mind doing a drug test he did it and it came back positive for drugs. He was shocked saying he hadn't touched anything, i check the date expiry on them and they are in date, i did one and it came out negative.
Hes lying isn't he?
What shall I do? He swears its wrong
How can I know the truth, I can't have that shit around my kids.
Do these tests ever come out wrong?
Please advise me

OP posts:
MitziK · 19/09/2020 13:20

@Whatwouldyoudo8988

Hes refusing to leave. Says it his house too and the tests are wrong. I dont actually have any SS involved it was only a for a little while a few years ago, they did their assessment and then said there were no concerns, I told the social worker about having him back and the drug testing and she said it was a good idea..
Doesn't matter what he says. He's a drug user who is going to lie because you facilitate his drug use.

You know he's lying. Antidepressants do not show up as cocaine on tests, as they are completely different compounds. He thought it would be out of his system by then, or he would have created about you not trusting him and always holding his past against him. Instead he's now claiming the tests are wrong.

Book an appointment with a solicitor on Monday. Contact Women's Aid. Get this coke head out of your home before he has a repeat performance around the children.

Mamette · 19/09/2020 13:24

@GallusAlice79

Cocaine is only in urine for a short period of time, so the 3rd negative is almost certainly because its now out of his system.

Irrespective of the test, why do you want to be with someone you don't actually trust?

The third negative test was done by the OP herself, to see if the tests were working.

Her husband did two tests, both positive. OP did one test which was negative.

OP has explained this a few times by now.

minnimiss · 19/09/2020 13:25

I think 2 tests are unlikely to be wrong especially if negative when you take one. You could pay to have a hair strand drug test done. These are really accurate and he couldn't then say they results were wrong.

Nanny0gg · 19/09/2020 13:31

Whose house is it?

Ce7913 · 19/09/2020 13:32

"hes been on anti histamine for a few months, and changed his medication to citlopram at the start of year"

Neither of these can trigger a false positive for cocaine.

MitziK · 19/09/2020 13:34

@Ce7913

"hes been on anti histamine for a few months, and changed his medication to citlopram at the start of year"

Neither of these can trigger a false positive for cocaine.

Buying antihistamines is a bloody excuse for having an ongoing sniff, though, doesn't it?

'Oh, the sniffing? Yeah, it's my hayfever playing up'.

TokyoSushi · 19/09/2020 13:35

If you're drug testing your husband it's already gone past the point of no return OP. I've no advice on how to do it, but I think you already need to know that this is the end.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 13:39

What drugs were you testing for?
Cannabis is different to heroin or cocaine.

The tests done by NHS are extremely reliable, but have had no experience of ones people can buy for themselves.

Testing anybody is something I'd not recommend, it undermines trust, plus, such testing needs to be done by a professional agency, where good counselling is in place...
Often ex addicts work in such places, they can smell BS a mile off.

Can he be referred to a drugs project, either self refer, or via G.P ?

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 13:43

@Whatwouldyoudo8988
If you tested yourself and it was negative, chances are his tests are accurate.

He needs to want to change, and that can take years.
Many, many middle class people take coke and think nothing of it, but they are the sorts who can take it or leave it.

Most addicts cannot.
One line leads to wanting another &c&c.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 13:49

@Whatwouldyoudo8988
Seems 'false positives ' and 'false negs' can happen...

www.drugs.com/article/false-positive-drug-tests.html

namechangetheworld · 19/09/2020 13:52

I think its fucked up to be putting your partner through drug tests.

Yeah, the OP is definitely the one in the wrong here Hmm Not the scummy arsehole taking drugs around their children.

I'm rarely part of the LTB brigade but this time I think it's justified.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 13:56

@Redwinestillfine

If he won't leave can you call the police? They may be interested to know where the drugs came from.....
No seasoned user will tell where they scored their drugs from..That would risk a serious assault or worse if it led to an arrest.

He'd just say 'Some random down the pub'.

Police will not be able to do anything about someone having taken coke {or any drug} in the past.

Kottontail · 19/09/2020 14:02

Addicts always lie & they do it very well. Do you want this for your children growing up? Its a toxic situation & you are always on edge. I made the decision years ago & it was the right thing to do. No good will come off this. Take care. X

timeisnotaline · 19/09/2020 14:03

Have you a photo of the positive tests? You may need it for the legal process of kicking him out.

HappyBumbleBee · 19/09/2020 14:05

If you took a test and it was negative and he’s done two tests saying positive then I’m afraid it does look like he’s lying. If he’d done a second test which said negative then fair enough dodgy test maybe but two or three or four?
Citalopram and anti histamines might show up in some drug tests but not if the drug test is specifically for banned substances such as cocaine.
To be double sure check the small print of the test kits you bought - email the manufacturer if you want to, but sadly I think they’ll tell you the same x

alldaysleeper · 19/09/2020 14:09

I've worked in D&A services for years where people are regularly tested and have heard every excuse for giving a positive test under the sun as well as every way of trying to cheat tests. I've had people swearing on their children's lives they haven't used and demanding tests be sent to the lab to challenge their accuracy which then of course come back positive and they still deny using! He's lying obviously, but the whole relationship sounds so dysfunctional that it really would be wise to be apart for the sanity of everyone involved.

orangenasturtium · 19/09/2020 14:13

Yesterday he seemed off so I asked if didnt mind doing a drug test he did it and it came back positive for drugs

Did it come back positive specifically for cocaine or just "drugs" @Whatwouldyoudo8988?

If it was positive for cocaine, I wouldn't believe him, based on his history. As a PP said, not many things cause false positives for cocaine use - coca/mate tea, some anaesthetic creams and occupational exposure. You could check the ingredients of any topical creams he uses (for his allergies, perhaps). It is possible if he was hanging out with people taking cocaine but not actually taking it himself, he could have been exposed, but that's not great either.

If the test doesn't specify the drug, antihistamines, some antidepressants, even ibuprofen, can cause false positives. About 10% of drugs tests are false positives.

As you have kids, I assume you want to know for sure. You could consider a hair follicle test and lab analysis, which will give you a bigger picture over a longer timescale and be more accurate than a home test.

MotherofTerriers · 19/09/2020 14:23

You can buy packs of wipes which detect cocaine - bars use them. If you want to you could test his credit cards, wallet etc.
I think you need to see a solicitor, this is no way to live, you can't trust him

1WildTeaParty · 19/09/2020 14:24

4 tests done:

  • you suspected something was wrong (you know him well- and have seen the effect of drug use on him in the past - so this is an important test).
  • 2 chemical tests on him - both positive
  • 1 chemical test on you to check the tests... negative.

You don't need more evidence of his drug use.

You are at step two
-full of grief for what he has become
-deciding if you accept him as an addict in your home despite all you said.

Heyahun · 19/09/2020 14:25

Lol at the people suggesting to call the police around - unless he’s storing massive amounts of drugs in your house they won’t give a shit! Y

Karwomannghia · 19/09/2020 14:30

Something made you test him, so I would say he has.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 14:32

Re hair testing..A professor at Bristol [ when hair testing was being developed ] he requested 'samples' ..I volunteered, and they took a fair amount of hair, from the back, underneath, clipped close to the scalp..It looked like a 30 cm 'tail' of hair, some 4mm wide.

I never found the results of the study, I think they were anonymous.

Before that, I'd have assumed a couple of hairs were needed..Not so.

Ludo19 · 19/09/2020 14:40

Sorry OP. I can only go from my experience. He's lying, you know he's lying. You need to focus on where you go forward for you and your children. Take care

BatShite · 19/09/2020 14:40

Personally, if my husband ever put the kids at risk by doing something so stupid, he would be out the door never to return.

However, on the tests, I think yours was a false negative if 2 others showed positive.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 14:45

@oakleaffy

Re hair testing..A professor at Bristol [ when hair testing was being developed ] he requested 'samples' ..I volunteered, and they took a fair amount of hair, from the back, underneath, clipped close to the scalp..It looked like a 30 cm 'tail' of hair, some 4mm wide.

I never found the results of the study, I think they were anonymous.

Before that, I'd have assumed a couple of hairs were needed..Not so.

The results of the study are actually online..Seems they were testing for cannabis only. Quite a complex extraction process...no wonder it is meant to be very expensive compared to urine testing.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5396143/

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