To take over bathroom in morning once a week?

[NearToCompletion]

Feeling really cross but don't know if BU.

We only have 1 bathroom. Family of 4, 2 kids. I am very much the only female in a house of men. Every morning they take over the bathroom to shower, shave, do hair gel. I get up v early, brush my teeth then do all my makeup in my bedroom and leave them to it.

I do the Curly Girl Method for my very long, thick hair. Anyone who knows about it knows it isnt quick. Easily 20 mins in the shower, then a good 10 mins or so at least drying off after. I have to do it first thing so it has all day to dry properly before I sleep on it, then it lasts 3 days if needed. I would ideally wash it a bit more often, but don't because of the bathroom situ.

Tonight DH told me i need to be quicker in the bathroom on my 1 day (the other is a weekend and I do it a bit later) and get out so they can all get ready for school / work. I think it is very unfair that on just one day, I cant do what I need to in the bathroom. I already get up at 6.30 to be in there early and I certainly spend far less time in there than any of them...or most women I know!

AIBU?

Can’t you do some of it in the bedroom? The non washing bit?

Yes you probably are. Details on what you’re doing don’t really matter here IMO. Your DH doesn’t think everyone can get ready and comfortably out the door on time, pretty black and white that they either can or can’t?

Also the boys don’t need to shave or do hair gel in the bathroom. Maybe suggest this to them.

Yes, YABU. You can't take up the only bathroom for 30+ minutes on a weekday if other people need it.

Do you get a cast on your hair? I do mine early evening and its half dry when I'm go to bed. I sleep with the cast on a scrunch it out in morning. It's a perfect system and no annoying drying time.

Half hour in bathroom when there's 4 of you is a bit long.

We’ve made a rota for the bathroom. Could you do that?

YANBU.

Your DH is hardly "D" and rather sexist about this.

Get up earlier ?

What’s a cast @Timshortforthalia ? I’m trying to do the curly girl method with my daughter but I have many heard of this. TIA!

How is it sexist? He didn’t say “men need much longer in the bathroom”, he said that four of them can’t use the bathroom in the mornings.

20 minutes is a long shower.

I do CGM and find it easier to do it in the evening. It sounds like you all need to compromise. Shaving can be done in the evening and hair gel in bedrooms.

So you spend those 30 minutes in the bathroom? You're out by 7, is that right?
How long do they spend in the bathroom each and what time do they need to leave?

Can your dh shave while you are in the shower? And can you dry your hair in the bedroom?

It’s selfish for any one person to hug the bathroom in the morning when three other people are also trying to use it to get ready for school/work

The sex of the person is irrelevant, as is what they’re doing really (apart from illness!).

There’s three of them, so yes the bathroom will be occupied by a Male more than a female during the morning rush, because theres more of them!

You could put a mirror and their hair gel in the kitchen, that might help a little.
Personally I wouldn't want anyone shaving at the kitchen sink.
Your dh could share the bathroom with you, he shaves while you wash your hair then he showers while you're drying your hair off.

Why don’t you get up half an hour earlier on the day you want to do your hair?

Half an hour in the bathroom is a lot when there’s 4 of you to get through it.

Unfair to hog the bathroom in the morning when everyone is trying to get ready.

YABU, but if you can't see it....well maybe your hair is too long!

Can't you wash it when you get home so it has all evening to dry?

I'd be very upset if someone hogged the only bathroom for that long in the morning.

You have options OP.

Get up earlier, find another method for your hair or a shorter/easier to manage style. Do your hair in the kitchen.
Many busy mothers find easier hairstyles to cope with busy lives.
It happens.

So you need the bathroom for 20 mins, two mornings a week, and they have the cheek to grumble Bout that?!

Was going to say could you do the evening. I diffuse mine then leave the cast in overnight

This isn't a matter of fairness, is it? The simple fact of the matter is that they all need to be washed and out of the bathroom by a set time, and that requirement doesn't change just because that's the day you've chosen to do your hair.

I'd strongly suggest a fairly drastic haircut, it will improve your life dramatically not having all that faff twice a week.

YANBU. Hair gel can be done in bedrooms plus maybe you and DH can share the bathroom. Assuming that you can dry your hair in your bedroom, 20mins in the shower once a week isn’t unreasonable at all. Having a rota is also a good idea, so at least it’s fair for all of you. What time do you all need to leave by? Having one bathroom between the four of you must be difficult and whilst compromises and sacrifices may need to be made, it’s only fair that it’s shared out between the four of you.