To take over bathroom in morning once a week?

[NearToCompletion]

Feeling really cross but don't know if BU.

We only have 1 bathroom. Family of 4, 2 kids. I am very much the only female in a house of men. Every morning they take over the bathroom to shower, shave, do hair gel. I get up v early, brush my teeth then do all my makeup in my bedroom and leave them to it.

I do the Curly Girl Method for my very long, thick hair. Anyone who knows about it knows it isnt quick. Easily 20 mins in the shower, then a good 10 mins or so at least drying off after. I have to do it first thing so it has all day to dry properly before I sleep on it, then it lasts 3 days if needed. I would ideally wash it a bit more often, but don't because of the bathroom situ.

Tonight DH told me i need to be quicker in the bathroom on my 1 day (the other is a weekend and I do it a bit later) and get out so they can all get ready for school / work. I think it is very unfair that on just one day, I cant do what I need to in the bathroom. I already get up at 6.30 to be in there early and I certainly spend far less time in there than any of them...or most women I know!

AIBU?

@Pobblebonk it doesn't always work that way for thick curly hair! Mine is cut to above shoulder length and still washing/styling takes maybe 20 mins then another 30/40 mins diffusing and it will still be slightly damp
Some of it is because I use a lot of gel to make my hair crunchy and hold so it takes longer to dry
Plus if you're not using shampoo you need to scrub for a good 3-5 mins with conditioner

Just spent twenty minutes on you tube studying the curly hair method which I had never heard of. Well blow me I have been doing this for years without knowing its name. I have crazy shiny hair, waves, ringlets, non greasy hair. My secret was to stop using many products, stop blow drying, styling, stop washing so much. Now every five or six days I use a simple shampoo, conditioner only put on ends. Put in a towel whilst I put make up on then let loose. In the winter I am a bit wimpy about going out in the cold with a wet scalp so twist it up in a big clip and run the hairdryer over the roots for a couple of minutes making sure not to put the hair dryer anywhere near the ends.

I was stunned watching the videos by the different products needed. How much does it all cost. But learnt that it takes months and months before your beautiful untreated hair starts to appear even then will take another year for it to take over from your treated hair. On this I agree you do need to be patient.

YANBU.

Blimey, OP, these attacks on your hair are making me laugh. Imagine thinking being a mum means you should have a simple hairstyle?! I wouldn’t be surprised if someone commented telling you that you should stop being so selfish and just shave your head

Hair gel in the bedroom is an odd suggestion, don't people need to wash their sticky hands after applying it?

OP I think if everyone's working to a fixed time to be out the door, and you need extra time once a week, your best solution is to get up a little earlier that day. I have to do the same myself on hair wash days even though I don't share a bathroom - getting ready just takes longer that day.

That's assuming your family members aren't totally taking the piss and wasting time doing unnecessary stuff.

What time does everyone leave the house?

Sounds like you need an en suite, OP

Gosh people have so much time on their hands! If only

I suggest a combination of getting up early and a haircut. I used to have waist length hair (extremely thick).I don’t have the time for that anymore. Its shoulder length now and a lot less work. I also do curly girl (without knowing that’s what its called originally - its just notmal hair washing for me), but washing takes me 10 minutes. “drying” (not that it will get properly dry) is done on a big beach towel in bedroom (can’t wash in the evening, my hair would still be wet in morning, its so thick).

Thanks all. Some of these replies are terrifying tbh...I cannot believe in this day and age it could truly be suggested that a woman should compromise her identity (which long curly hair is a big part of!) to have a "drastically different hairstyle" just because she's a mother.

It's also very clear most people have 0 clue what curly girl method involves but that's ok, i wouldn't expect you to. It honestly does take time. For the people saying they do it at night, I'd love to but my hair is so super thick (it's more about the thickness than the length although it is long), it really just wouldn't dry and would be a hideous matted mess by morning even with a cast, plus v uncomfortable and damp to sleep on. I'm going to give a diffuser another go but last time I tried it caused a ton of frizz.

Anyway.

What I wasn't sure I was BU about, and it sounds like I am, is the fact that we can't change having only 1 bathroom and everyone needing it in the morning. I really don't like all the menfolk in there with me (it's a teeny tiny space). So I'm up at 6am this morning to do it instead. We leave the house at 7.45 and need breakfast etc. My issue was with the fact I only want to do this one weekday per week, but if they need the bathroom, they need it I suppose.

tbh if someone in a family showers, the others can still use the toilet and brush their teeth.
needs must if you havd limited time and only one bathroom.

If I needed to do this I would get up earlier, no one person should take up more time so if they are also taking more time they need to stop also.

Maybe everyone in your household needs to be quicker?

I take 10 mins at most including 2 mins teeth brush in the mornings maybe even less

You getting up earlier that day is the answer. You can’t expect to use the bathroom for over half an hour at 6.30am and then expect everyone else to be washed and ready for 7.45!

I would rather let DH have access to the sink while I washed my hair than have to get up earlier.

Not at all helpful OP but does anyone else think all this hair gel and shaving sounds very 90s?! All the men I know have a beard so aren't shaving daily and put a quick bit of wax or whatever in their hair. I'm imagining the old tubs of gloopy blue hair gel and a boy band look - but appreciate there's probably a much more modern side to gelling and shaving!

That still leaves plenty of time for 3 makes to use the bathroom on your hair morning!! They just need to alter their breakfast routine that morning!

Do you only shower twice a week?

I'm confused. How long does each of them spend in the bathroom each day? Are you expected to spend less time than them?

Have a rota for that one day of the week - you get the bathroom from 6.30-7, so if that 45 minutes after isn’t enough time for them to get ready one of them will need to get up early and do it before 6.30

@MJMG2015

That still leaves plenty of time for 3 makes to use the bathroom on your hair morning!! They just need to alter their breakfast routine that morning!

Do you only shower twice a week?

I expect the OP does what most of us do on non hair wash days, and wears a shower cap.

I’m interested to know how long they’re all in the bathroom for? You said you spend 20 minutes and that you spend less time than any of them.

Why is it up to the op on her one day a week to be up and out earlier? Maybe her husband could get up earlier to gel his hair and shave?!

@yecannyshoveyergranny

Why is it up to the op on her one day a week to be up and out earlier? Maybe her husband could get up earlier to gel his hair and shave?!

Because she is the one who is changing the normal routine on that day. Why should others have to get up earlier because she chooses to spend longer in the bathroom that day?

It sounds like the routine works well for everyone the other 4 days a week so if any member of the family wants to extend their routine it’s up to them to get up a bit earlier to facilitate it

More of their stuff needs to be done in their rooms, only things involving water of some sort in the bathroom.

Can’t you shower while they eat (in their PJs) and then you eat after you’ve showered? That’ll get you all out in time if you start at 6.30?

6.30 isn't early. I think the op has found her answer- get up at 6.

Everyone has equal bathroom priority but that certainly doesn't mean the men need it more! There are some baffling replies on this thread which look like either a male rights invasion or a lot of people desperate to prove they prioritise men and women should know their place...

We're a family of 5 - two adults, two teenagers, a pre teen (two female, three male) and have one full bathroom and a downstairs toilet. The children usually shower in the evening which was a routine we fell into naturally because they play a lot of sport and shower afterwards.

When multiple people leaving at the same time in the morning need to shower in the morning it's 5 minute showers and get ready in your bedroom.

Nobody needs to be in the bathroom to do hair gel! Only things requiring water need to be done in the bathroom!

Equally nobody should totally block the bathroom for half an hour on a week day unless they get up before everyone else. If there are no small children needing constant supervision showering straight after work/ school might be more convenient. Obviously the teens/ men will be cooking dinner as often as the woman/ women so there's no reason not to do haircare rituals requiring a long time in the bathroom straight after work.