Questions for white people

[Questionspandemic]

Why are white people offended by black people talking about racism?

Obviously not all white people are racist and name changed - in case of gaslighting.

Not offended but bored as for some people it's all they ever go on about.

I have a friend who I love dearly but she has become militant on social media. Every post is about BLM or racism. It can be overbearing.

Lots of reasons I think and not sure if I'm adding much to what PP have said.

For some folk they just don't believe that racism exists, it's the whole 'I've never experienced this so it's not there' and being unable to see yourself in another persons shoes.

For other folk it's uncomfortable for them to acknowledge that racism exists, because it's difficult to acknowledge the personal benefit that all white people have in our societies (your own personal narrative of being self made etc takes a bashing if you need to acknowledge that actually the system did you a favour)

I think others just can't connect with the issue. Like some folk have said it's the 'if it doesn't harm me then I'm not interested' mindset.

And I think it's this last one which we have a chance of tackling. Not meaning this in a goady way, but if white people can't see why racism is a problem FOR THEM and why they need to do something about it then we don't stand much chance of solving it. And this is impossible if white people won't engage because they dont believe racism exists or can't bear to.

I'm white and also a feminist. I can see many flaws in the concept of intersectionality. I'm really wary of co opting issues from other countries and making them our own. Racism exists in Britain, but we're not America.

The trans debate has taught me to look below the headline. I won't be told 'if you don't agree that x, then you're transphobic'. I know myself that I'm not transphobic and I won't jump through performative hoops to prove it.

Same with racism. I don't want to live in a YOU CAN'T SAY THAT world, I've seen the harm done by well meaning people who consider themselves liberal when they force language and behaviour on others.

"When You’re Accustomed to Privilege, Equality Feels Like Oppression"

This quote.

White people don't recognise that much of what they take for granted is rooted in privilege. When the subject of equality comes up, they fear their lives will have to change, that something will be taken away from them, even if they're not entirely sure what that 'something' is.

I'm white, and grew up in Africa. My UK experience is many white people here don't have a clue how nuanced and subtle racism is. And they also really don't like being told something they did/say was racist.

I’m not offended by black people talking about their experiences of racism. I am offended by the denial that white people also experience racism and the use of the phrase white privilege to some how be the final word on that point. Racism on an individual level will always exist, it’s hard wired into our species and we can only address so much. I do think a that the racists and anti racists are closely aligned at the moment and there seems to a push from both sides towards segregation. I also think those of us who don’t think on race as a characteristic of significant, feel that much of what is going on at the moment is actually pushing things backwards which is what you might be picking up on. Cardi b’s attack on Candace Owens for being a race traitor because she married a white man is a great example and as Candace rightly pointed out is in direct conflict with the aspirations that people should be judged by the content of their character rather than the colour of their skin.

Same reasons some men hate women talking about women's rights.

I have never been offended by a black person talking about racism, ever.

I truly understand my white privilege, sadly I don't think others do. Truly depressing how little has changed.

Am I allowed to object to all white people being lumped together ? Seems like judging people based on the colour of their skin to me.

@goldensummerhouse

Same reasons some men hate women talking about women's rights.

Indeed.

I'm not offended by black people talking about racism, I support them and feel great sorrow for what they have suffered, but being Irish I don't like being generalised in the same category as white people.

I think I also feel sad that what we have suffered seems to have been brushed under the carpet and minimised.

@SoVeryLost @Itisbetter and @purpleboy you are both benefiting (assuming you are white) from a system that your ancestors created. While you can’t change the past you can change the present. Too many people blame their ancestors for the system they are happy to keep going, it’s a cop out when you blame your ancestors for current issues.
I literally said I think that I am responsible for my own behaviour not that of my forefathers how is that a “cop out?” How is it blaming them? Each of us is responsible for our own behaviour. That in no way implies I don’t see racism or understand the impact of history.

Generally I think most people struggle to care deeply about things which don't directly affect them
This. Maybe a touch of compassion fatigue too as there are only so many things that you can care very deeply about when leading a busy life.

I’m white and I’m not offended, I think we need to talk about it more. The more we talk about such issues, call them out, say how it affects people, the less they are a problem. We can’t change unless we aren’t open about it all.

I Don’t know why others have a problem with maybe, maybe those who are offended by talking about such issues are pig ignorant, they don’t realise there is an issue and therefore don’t want to discuss it because it doesn’t affect them.

Many reasons. Some feel like they should not feel guilty for crimes of their ancestors or the actions of strangers, some people take it as a personal attack and can't handle criticism.
Personally talking about racism doesn't offend me, it confuses me.

I've read articles and watched interviews where I'm told that white people have to listen , I'm listening but all i hear is that I'll never understand. White people have to accept that white privilege exists, racism is a problem and white people must show their support to the black community by standing with them and stamping it out. Then I read an article telling me that white people should not get involved in any protests or debates because this is not about us.

Personally, I'm not offended. However, I have many relatives (white, for clarity) who get very, very defensive when anyone black/asian etc bring up negative experiences in any context.

I'd be really interested to know why, too.

Because they have internalised racist views and feel attacked when it’s pointed out.

@DarkmilkAddict

I think we live in a culture and am education system that discourages us from looking at group patterns. How convenient fir the status quo.

So everything is viewed at the individual level therefore people feel personally attacked.

It’s why I’ve stopped talking to men about feminism.

I think this goes both ways. I’m thoroughly fed up being grouped together with white racists, much in the same way black people get lumped together with the bad eggs, or Romanian nationals get lumped together with Romanian gyp$ie$? If you want people to see you as an individual, you have to practice what you preach. I can in a small way relate; I live in a country where it’s traditionally had a high outbound emigration culture, so it’s not used to having inbound immigration. I constantly feel as though I have to be three times as good as the locals in my job, I’ve been targeted (told to go home, told my landlord won’t deal with me as a foreigner etc), and I’m white. But I have a lot of mixed race family members, and I’ve experienced racism from their extended family members - we were excluded from our grandmothers funeral as an example as it apparently isn’t our culture.

If someone or an organisation is being racist, target them, not me. Every time I get lumped in, it turns me off the message.

being Irish I don't like being generalised in the same category as white people.

I'm Irish. I'm also, like the majority of Irish people historically, white, and while I've certainly experienced discrimination and micro-aggressions on ethnic grounds when living in the UK, I still benefit largely from white privilege in a way that black Irish people do not.

The only thing I can say is that being stigmatised as Irish in the UK has offered me an occasional glimpse around the edge of white privilege, but I would certainly go no further.

@GoatWardrobe and @FloraButterCookie showing my utter ignorance here (and not wanting to hijack the thread!) but I didn’t realise there were still issues? Would you mind elaborating? That’s awful if people are treating you a certain way because you’re Irish, I genuinely did not realise that happened.

I am white. I am absolutely not offended by black people talking about racism.

There is a lot of anti-white/all white people sentiment on social media especially Twitter and Tumblr which is shutting down people and turning them away from the conversation.

Many people want to understand but are getting turned away

but as an immigrant black woman (highly qualified and in the 1% in terms of salary) I never felt black women are women
What do your qualifications and salary level have to do with this?

i can think of a few things - one being fear. Its a very status driven society. For many being white is one of the only privileges they have.

I also think a misplaced sense of injustice. eg when people talk about slavery, some people feel like they are being personally blamed for something they didn't do. They cant extrapolate from slave trade to racist hair style policies in schools.

I honestly don't feel that's the case, I think many many white ppl want to apologise for these situations despite not being guilty.
The question is why do certain groups want others to feel guilty for situations that are out of their control.
Should we feel guilty that we live in western countries that allows us a higher standard of living? Would those shouting about it admit their 'guilt' in this matter??
We all need to change things to make a fairer planet for all of us, but accusations and blaming only shut down conversations and lead to slower change.

Because when people are so used to being catered to they see any lack of catering as in imbalance.

Admitting there’s a problem means having to do something about it, and when your (often quite difficult) life is made easier simply by virtue of being white, the idea that that might change is unappealing.

It’s easier to pretend racism is about slurs and segregation and American police brutality than to admit it’s part of the fabric of society and fixing it is going to be hard and uncomfortable for the majority of people.