Questions for white people

[Questionspandemic]

Why are white people offended by black people talking about racism?

Obviously not all white people are racist and name changed - in case of gaslighting.

I read something interesting a while ago in a book called white fragility.

It said that White people never think of themselves as "White People" which leads to whataboutery or the "my kids are mixed race, so I cant be racist" "I have black friends" "Im pretty tanned and get asked where Im from" "but I don't see colour" etc etc
Its called White exceptionalism and basically we come up with some excuse about how Racism or racist actions/thoughts cant apply to us as we are 'nice' people and we only think of Racists as evil people in white pointy hats who go out lynching or the EDL or Hitler or a working class skinhead covered in tattoos.

I think calling out a white person for saying or doing something racist or problematic immediately shuts down the conversation because it is received as being called evil.

I also think the the majority don't really understand Racist society and how black people have been put on the back foot from before birth.

There’s also the reason that people don’t want to see the world as more shit and unfair that they’d thought.

That was an unconscious barrier in me, before I realised the dire need for feminism, so I think it could apply here

I’m not fussed about people anyone talking about racism, however when it’s “white silence is violence” I’m going to turn off right there.

Have marches and petition for change and anything else but when people are attacked just for refusing to raise a fist/take a knee or march at that particular time then I’m not interested anymore.

Send me a petition link for change and I’ll sign it, I’ll talk about it and share it.

@LordOfTheOnionRings

I am white and I think a lot of it has to do with our understanding of racism.

A lot of people think that is equal to aggression or slurs rather than bias or discrimination.

As a white person I cannot comprehend the micro aggressions BAME deal with in their lives, I can imagine I often appear ignorant when I might ask for clarification when someone is talking about their experiences or to ask about their culture, but it comes from a place of trying to teach myself so I can raise my son anti racist

I think it is better to come across as ignorant but trying to learn than to assume you know something you don't. Although be aware that asking about culture to someone who is British can be quite offensive for example I have a friend who is mixed race (she defines herself as much) and who grew up with her white side of her family so culturally is white middle class who gets incredibly irritated when people insist that her culture can't be British.

@Questionspandemic

Why are white people offended by black people talking about racism?

Obviously not all white people are racist and name changed - in case of gaslighting.

What an inflammatory statement to make in the first place !

Why would anyone want to gaslight. You did that with your choice of wording

I'm white and I think it is the race equivalent of the Not All Men Are Like This group.

It derails the original conversation which (imo is the actual aim of the namalt) whilst demanding the op changes their language.

In my experience its because the people I know who have been vocal about blm are very privileged, one is Cambridge educated, both privately educated, their kids privately educated, huge houses, lots of holidays etc - they have dark skin, that's the only thing they have in common. Meanwhile other people I know are really struggling but they have white skin so they are the "privileged ones"? There is serious issues with racism but it's not homogeneous, it doesn't affect all dark skinned people equally. Hearing someone on tv I've met in real life talking about compensation was my limit - she's had far more opportunities than I could dream of, some because of her skin colour (scholarships), I don't begrudge her success but I do get riled by her suggestion that we should be giving her an annual stipend to make up for her lack of being white???

I've read articles and watched interviews where I'm told that white people have to listen , I'm listening but all i hear is that I'll never understand. White people have to accept that white privilege exists, racism is a problem and white people must show their support to the black community by standing with them and stamping it out. Then I read an article telling me that white people should not get involved in any protests or debates because this is not about us

Well, .like all political movements there will be a lot of different views within it. Your experiences reflect that. Just like there are many different views within feminism and socialism and conservatism.

"Why are white people offended by black people talking about racism?"

I'm not

@BovaryX

There is a certain kind of white woman who is eager to sign up for the self flaggelation inherent in critical race theory. Social media is her forum, where she peddles collective guilt and lectures POC who reject the simplistic slogans and refuse to obediently embrace this quasi religious dogma. This has proved a lucrative gig for some of the palest, most privileged people on the planet. Robin De Angelo for one. Meanwhile, the voices of John McWhorter, Coleman Hughes are not given airplay in the UK.

And why do you think white people rather listen to someone like Robin De Angelo than John McWhorter?

acknowledging racism when all white people benefit from privilege
I am old, poor, unattractive, female and from a culture that gets 'fun' poked at.

But I'm privileged because I am white.

@movingonup20 so wealth people like the OP, Lewis Hamilton and the other black people you wrote about don't experience racism?

Because we don't speak about racism enough with Black people.

White privilege sounds like an accusation but when you understand what it is you know it's not. It's a fact.

And when you understand this you can learn to use your white privilege in a positive way. But like everything when we dont talk about it, we don't learn and so we misinterpret / misunderstand.

I have never thought of myself as racist but I now understand not being racist isn't enough and I am lucky that I have people of colour in my life who are generous enough to share their knowledge and experience with me. A good friend hosts a podcast which has been running a series on BLM and I have learned so much.

I am sorry if some white people feel uncomfortable when you talk about racism but sometimes we have to face uncomfortable truths to make change.

Personally I would love to hear more black people talking about racism. The more we talk the less uncomfortable it will become.

As a white person I cannot comprehend the micro aggressions BAME deal with in their lives

This. For example, I cannot comprehend what it would be like for my young children to be stereotyped as aggressive and precocious at school purely due to the colour of their skin. Or the fact that if one of them was accused of a crime, they're much more likely to be wrongfully convicted and will be given a harsher sentence, again based on skin colour. My family are not subject to these and a hundred other indignities, so, although I hope I'm sympathetic, I don't fool myself that I can understand how it must feel both for these things to happen and then to be institutionally 'gaslighted' by being told that we're not a racist society.

@BovaryX

I always wonder when people get fobbed off with go educate yourself! (Usually said when someone doesn't have any kind of reasonable response.) Who they expect these people to find? What if they find John McWhorter, professor at Columbia University? Or Coleman Hughes, journalist?

Critical Social Justice Theory is a means for younger academics to undermine older academics and knock them off their perches. It's an internally struggle within the Academics that is spilling over into real life. In my opinion, it's causing more hurt than healing. It divides and subdivides and encourages people to find grievance rather than common cause. It also has some inherent contradictions that are almost Calvinistic.

Introducing it into the workplace is bonkers. There is a now a whole cadre of people whose careers depend upon racism and homophobia and sexism continuing or they lose their raison d'être.

I have described why. Because there is a certain kind of white activist who is eager to kneel before the quasi religious dogma of critical race theory. This person's political beliefs are predictable and formulaic. But a key part of this is the UK media. Why do Brits not know about David Dorn? Why is the media ignoring dissenting voices from POC in the US?

I suspect because of the way it is framed. I will happily discuss racism with friends etc. I agree systematic racism/sexism etc. Exists and needs to be changed which requires analysis, dialogue and action.
But I will not engage with the far left version of this. In their view (or narrative) it appears now that by simply existing people contribute to systematic racism, transphobia, sexism, etc. No action or negative thought is required. You exist, are white, therefore you are privileged and sustaining/contributing to systematic racism. People should not have to apologise for their existence regardless of race, sex etc.

I’m particularly interested to hear black women talk about feminism because even after I ‘got’ white privilege (to the extent I have) I was sad to hear that feminism feels exclusionary to lots of women

I’ve noticed in my family and friend groups the most defensive people are the ones who are casually racist.

I think that talking about racism makes them realise they are not quite so innocent and that can cause some people to get defensive.

@IShaggedAMarriedMan

acknowledging racism when all white people benefit from privilege I am old, poor, unattractive, female and from a culture that gets 'fun' poked at.

But I'm privileged because I am white.

And I can bet that if all of that was the same but you were turned into a black person overnight, you'd be in general worse off as far as how society views you.

So yes, you have white privilege.

I think they are worried about being seen as racist but society is white-centric.

I, as a white woman, am not racist but I benefit from a society that is - whether I personally benefit or not. Maybe they don't want to accept that.

It's sort of like men benefitting from a patriarchal society without being sexist or misogynistic themselves. They may not want to accept it but it doesn't stop it being true.

I always wonder when people get fobbed off with go educate yourself! (Usually said when someone doesn't have any kind of reasonable response.) Who they expect these people to find? What if they find John McWhorter, professor at Columbia University? Or Coleman Hughes, journalist?

Quite. But 'educate yourself' doesn't mean become informed. Au contraire. It means chant the slogans. Question nothing. These are articles of faith.

@EmpressoftheMundane

Introducing it into the workplace is bonkers. There is a now a whole cadre of people whose careers depend upon racism and homophobia and sexism continuing or they lose their raison d'être

Quite so. A lucrative gig for some of the palest, most privileged people on the planet.

@Owlypants your second paragraph is exactly how I feel.

Just about nothing offends me. In fact I think the sooner we move to a UK where if you are offended we say weak you, toughen up, go off and cry in a corner, get some therapy rather than poor poor you.... the better.

"Why are white people offended by black people talking about racism?"

People have different reasons for their feelings but they really overall need to toughen up. I am sure black people don't mind if white people talk about racism against whites either. We need free speech.

@Fruitsaladjelly

I don’t think ‘white’ privileged exists. I think social and economic privilege exists, I think cultural privilege exists but the idea that a white person just has to pull out their white privilege card and everything is automatically ok whilst the path to hardship is paved with melanin is missing the real issue and to some extent oppressing blacks into thinking they can’t do and can’t be anything they want because their skin is some sort of road block. I was chatting to one of the massive minority of black parents outside our very white village school, he was in his tweeds and off to the gun club to work on his aim before the shooting season. He had economic privilege, good for him.

When a black man is walking down the street no one knows what university he went to or what his bank balance is. To suggest that wealth supersedes race in Western society is nothing short of absurd.

I'm from a mixed family and every single one of my black male relatives, all of whom are educated and now as adults working professionals, have been harassed or in some cases roughed up by police. Yes, in the UK. One was caught at a party drinking when in boarding school and only HE (the only black person) was dismissed from the school. So please don't speak of what you don't know.