DH & I have been together for 14 years.
We had our first baby this year born in March.
DD is now 6 months old.
My relationship with DH seems to be declining fast and I just don't know if we can ever get things back on track.
All we ever seen to do now is argue.
We don't seem to be a team, on the same side or supportive of each other.
Instead I feel like we're against each other and we're competing.
I feel angry towards him, I feel resentful and I don't really know why.
He helps around the house, he cooks dinner, he does the laundry, he gets up early on a weekend with DD so I can catch up on sleep, but I just feel like it's all done so he can throw it back at me, or that he's doing it to keep me quiet rather than he genuinely wants to help.
I feel like I'm struggling being at home with DD and he's at work all day and not feeling the same pressures of parenthood that I am.
I don't ever feel like I get time to myself, and my DH has complained that he doesn't either, but he's at work all day, he gets to have adult conversation, eat his lunch uninterrupted, go to the toilet when he wants.
I feel like that's much more time to himself than what I get!!
My stress levels feel higher than ever and I just feel like DH doesn't actually make much of a difference by being in my life.
He leaves for work at 7am and he arrives home at 5.30pm.
He will come home and he will cook us dinner, we will eat.
After dinner one of us will bath DD and get her ready for bed whilst the other is doing the dishes.
DD is going through a phase of not wanting to be with DH when she is tired and will not settle with him, only me.
8pm I take DD up to bed and that's me for the night.
I stay up with her 1. Because I don't feel comfortable putting her to bed without me.
- Because it can take a while for her to fully drop off and she doesn't sleep for very long without waking up and needs to be settled so it makes sense for me to stay with her.
Some nights DH will come up with me and just lay next to me, others he will stay down.
I just feel so pissed at him because I don't feel like he does enough with DD.
It's so hard that she won't settle with him, even on a weekend for day time naps she barely settles with him, and it's always on me after lots of bouncing and hard work to get her to nap.
I feel really exhausted with it all, I miss having any time alone with my husband but all we seem to do now is argue / compare who's most tired or who's done the most around the house.
I feel like I always have to justify what I've done all day, admittedly he never asked or complains, but I just hate the thought of him thinking I'm lazy or unmotivated.
I do love DH, other than him cleaning the house, cooking and getting up early with DD on a weekend, I don't really know what else I get from him and how I benefit from him being in my life.
I don't want DD to have a split family but I just don't think I'm happy with him anymore.