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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP has gone to work in a bad mood. Is he being ridiculous or is he right?

239 replies

Buttr · 11/09/2020 23:03

Apparently there wasn't enough butter to make his sandwiches.

I'll attatch a photo, please do let me know what you think. I'm not taking him seriously, obviously.

When I said that there quite clearly is enough for two ham sandwiches he said "well I just like alot of butter" and chose to leave without any sandwiches at all and a face like a slapped arse.

I suspect he's got the ump about the fact that my DM had sandwiches here this afternoon and is blaming her for the lack of butter (I never use it)

So just for my amusement..

YABU - there isn't enough
YANBU - there's plenty

DP has gone to work in a bad mood. Is he being ridiculous or is he right?
OP posts:
Billben · 12/09/2020 09:29

@SwanShaped

No one needs two sandwiches for lunch. Agree about margarine being disgusting. Slimy. I can even imagine the sound and feel of the knife scraping against the bottom of the tub. Urgh.
🙄 Don’t be ridiculous.
Billben · 12/09/2020 09:31

@Oysterbabe

Surely he only butters one side of the sandwich anyway.

This is a whole separate debate. I don't know anyone uses one slice of dry bread on their sandwich.

Honestly? I thought it was normal practice to only butter one side of the bread 🤔 That’s how I’ve always done it 😀
GameSetMatch · 12/09/2020 09:39

Who put that empty container back in the fridge?

ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 12/09/2020 09:39

Your DH sounds like a bit of a twat.

He should have been relieved your mother generously gave up her time to help you with the children as you're injured.

FFS

Original poster
Buttr · 12/09/2020 09:42

He's home now.

I asked him what he ate on his break and he said he bought a ham and salad baguette and a few other bits. I know for absolute certain that there will have been less spread on that baguette than there was in our tub here!

He has since said that he was factoring in the DC's toast this morning when he decided there wasn't enough, so that possibly makes him less U.

Generally he needs more than just the one sandwich to sustain him as his job is very physical.

I've joked that I'm not to buy margarine anymore and it has to be proper butter, to which he came up with 3 or 4 reasons why that's inconvenient Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Buttr · 12/09/2020 09:43

Oh but he still didn't return with more margarine/spread!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/09/2020 09:46

Whoever left that amount in the tub without mentioning it is the one at fault.

popsydoodle4444 · 12/09/2020 09:50

I think the real issue is his infantile selfish behaviour.

He doesn't like your mum so sounds like he's deliberately creating issues so that you don't have your own mum around.

There's absolutely no reason for him to behave the way he has today other than he's being a manipulative dick.

TenDays · 12/09/2020 09:56

Eating the last of something strikes straight to the heart! I totally understand DH's problem, irrational as his response was.

In his place I'd be saying 'You KNEW that was the last of the spread but you didn't save some for my work sarnies?' and thinking 'Don't I come first?'

ptumbi · 12/09/2020 09:56

It's Hump. Ump is not a word Hmm

Margarine will be the last thing left after The Apocalypse, when the rats have eaten every other damn thing in the world.

Even then, they won't eat it.

Biglumpycustard · 12/09/2020 09:59

You could easily make 2 sandwiches from that.

Original poster
Buttr · 12/09/2020 10:01

@ptumbi

It's Hump. Ump is not a word Hmm

Margarine will be the last thing left after The Apocalypse, when the rats have eaten every other damn thing in the world.

Even then, they won't eat it.

It's an abbreviation and it's pronounced "ump" in our accent so...
OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 12/09/2020 10:03

Well he just needs to turn his ass around and go buy real butter doesnt he the problem is still there

FAQs · 12/09/2020 10:06

It’s not butter unless it comes in lovely gold wrapping, and who keeps butter in the fridge! Surely the butter dish is sufficient. What has the world come to.

ifeellikeanidiot · 12/09/2020 10:06

People are allowed to choose margarine over butter. Their life, their choices.

However, calling margarine butter is completely beyond the pale. See also calling butter 'proper butter'.

ptumbi · 12/09/2020 10:08

It's an abbreviation and it's pronounced "ump" in our accent so.. - I think most people pronounce it as 'Ump'. Doesn't make it a word. The word, as written in English, is Hump. HTH. Hmm

I worked with someone who filled in a crossword clue as 'Odd'. The clue was 'bricklayer's carrying aid.' Her DP was a bricklayer. He carried his bricks in a Hod.

Your DP is being an arse about the margarine though.

eatsleepread · 12/09/2020 10:09

YABU.

Angelina82 · 12/09/2020 10:39

No one needs two sandwiches for lunch. Agree about margarine being disgusting. Slimy. I can even imagine the sound and feel of the knife scraping against the bottom of the tub. Urgh.

Hmm
TitsOutForHarambe · 12/09/2020 10:53

No one needs two sandwiches for lunch

Absolutely. And no one needs to eat meat either, so ham is right out. And what's he doing working a night shift? No one needs to do this. Doesn't he know people can work in the day?

I don't understand why everyone else doesn't do things exactly the same way as me. It's literally unfathomable Hmm

Ohyeahs · 12/09/2020 10:58

There isn’t enough and who cares if its margarine? Some people like it. Can’t stand food snobs

IItCantRainAllTheTime · 12/09/2020 11:01

I hope he enjoys his bought sandwiches. They barely have any butter on anyway.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 12/09/2020 11:16

I think you need to address his attitude towards your mother. It's not right that he makes you feel uncomfortable about her being there via his sulky behaviour. It's a passive aggressive way of controlling what you do so that in future, so you either won't have her there so much, or will bend over backwards to ensure she doesn't do anything which could possibly inconvenience him. Neither is acceptable - she is your mum and it's your home too!
As a starter, I'd point out that the alternative was looking after his own children all day and then doing a night shift. Would he prefer to do that or buy himself a sandwich at work?
Secondly DO NOT replace the butter. He knows it's empty, he knows you are ill - there's no shopping fairy, so text him a list of what to bring home with him.
I would be making it clear that storming off in a strop to work is not acceptable behaviour, especially when someone is doing you a favour.

converseandjeans · 12/09/2020 11:50

It's not really enough tbh but he could have scraped enough onto the bread to cover it.

Sorry to be a snob but that's margarine & he would enjoy real butter lots more. Lurpak is lovely.

I use this in cakes though.

Nanny0gg · 12/09/2020 11:52

@Buttr

Margarine/butter is all the same to me as I don't eat it Grin
Oh! That changes everything!

Why didn't he just use sump oil from the car? Same thing!

BlueJava · 12/09/2020 11:59

There doesn't look much there to be fair... but why is it your job to supply it? You said you don't even eat it!