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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has gone to work in a bad mood. Is he being ridiculous or is he right?

239 replies

Buttr · 11/09/2020 23:03

Apparently there wasn't enough butter to make his sandwiches.

I'll attatch a photo, please do let me know what you think. I'm not taking him seriously, obviously.

When I said that there quite clearly is enough for two ham sandwiches he said "well I just like alot of butter" and chose to leave without any sandwiches at all and a face like a slapped arse.

I suspect he's got the ump about the fact that my DM had sandwiches here this afternoon and is blaming her for the lack of butter (I never use it)

So just for my amusement..

YABU - there isn't enough
YANBU - there's plenty

DP has gone to work in a bad mood. Is he being ridiculous or is he right?
OP posts:
steff13 · 12/09/2020 01:25

He would be unreasonable to put butter or margarine on a ham sandwich.

TinkersTailor · 12/09/2020 01:27

So it's not the butter, it's the fact that a woman has slightly inconvenienced the menz and how dare she?

He's being a twat. There's more than enough there.
I'd be fucked off with him stropping over my mum having a sandwich though.
Great, big child.

timeisnotaline · 12/09/2020 01:36

Hi dh, don’t forget to buy butter. Also something nice for dm if she’s helping me unless you’ve booked the day off since I’m hurt? X

Sounds like the message I’d send.

Inkpaperstars · 12/09/2020 01:59

If I was a guest and saw someone was running low on whatever spread they use, I wouldn't use any without checking first that it wasn't going to leave them short for breakfast etc. Same with milk or bread. That said, he was overreacting and could have managed a sandwich or two from that. Be warned if you switch to butter he may huff that no one took it out of the fridge in time to soften before he needs to spread it...

Weenurse · 12/09/2020 02:02

Not enough for sandwiches and you need spreadable butter.

1forAll74 · 12/09/2020 02:05

You can actually get used to a sandwich without butter,. I had two ham sandwiches for a quick lunch earlier, I had ham and cheese, and chopped spinach, with a layer of tomato and chilli relish in it, so didn't notice the lack of butter.

StardewMelons · 12/09/2020 02:13

Buy him his own tub of marg. And keep the real tasty butter aside, for people thet don't act spoilt Grin

MashedSweetSpud · 12/09/2020 02:27

Marg is oil and powders mixed up. I’ve been trying to convince my sister to give it up.

Butter is churned from milk.

NiceGerbil · 12/09/2020 02:49

He is BU for thinking that is butter.

Also BU for flouncing off. I'm sure there's other stuff he could have had.

NiceGerbil · 12/09/2020 02:50

I hate butter and marge so may be biased!

eveningfalls · 12/09/2020 03:20

there is enough but it requires more effort to scrape of course. What a tragedy, ask his mam to make his lunch.

donnadenise · 12/09/2020 03:26

There's enough and he could have bought more when he noticed it was getting low before that.

Florencex · 12/09/2020 03:38

There is nowhere near enough spreadable butter left to make a sandwich, I couldn’t butter a single slice of toast with that. But it is nobody’s fault, sometimes we run out of things.

user1481840227 · 12/09/2020 04:00

There is definitely enough left for at least 2 or 3 slices of bread. There is a decent size amount in the top corner. He might like loooads of it but surely could have done what everyone else does if they run low on butter or whatever it is they're putting on their sandwiches....spread it thinly and get on with it Confused

MajesticWhine · 12/09/2020 04:17

There's plenty there. I'm amazed people think there's not. He's being ridiculous.

Angelina82 · 12/09/2020 04:32

I don’t use any spread (dieting) but if I did I could probably just about butter 4 slices of bread with that. My adult kids, however, would probably class that tub as empty and go buy some more or just not bother.
As for all the butter snobs, butter is more expensive than margarine and not everyone can afford it. No need for sneering.

TitsOutForHarambe · 12/09/2020 04:49

What's wrong with margarine by the way?

It's illegal in most parts of the world, and with good reason. It causes consumption, dicky hips, disco fever, but to name a few. Need I go on?

Your DH is pissed off because your mother had a sandwich. Sounds like there is a whole load of stuff going on there. Good luck OP.

Flaxmeadow · 12/09/2020 04:53

When I said that there quite clearly is enough for two ham sandwiches he said "well I just like alot of butter"

Simply suggest to him that he goes to the shop and buys some

nestisflown · 12/09/2020 04:54

@HowFastIsTooFast

He is being unreasonable to eat margarine in the first place Confused
That looks like the pack for spreadable lurpak- so it is butter just without the hassle of trying not to tear your bread.
Baboomtsk · 12/09/2020 05:12

I'd say there's only enough for one sandwich at most tbh. Is he being unreasonable to be in a huff? He is a bit, but to be honest if I was heading off for a night shift in (what I assume is) a bit of a dull job it wouldn't take much to put me into a mood either. Working and sleeping at odd hours can do that. It's not your mum's fault for having a sandwich but if you knew your partner was going to need it before going to work you should have popped out to get some more if you had the chance. He should definitely switch to real butter though, that might cheer up the missery guts!

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 12/09/2020 05:21

Even if there wasn't enough spread left (there is)...

and even if your DM ate too much of it (she didn't)...

and even if it was your job to ensure there's sufficient spread in the house at all times (it isn't)...

he is being a mahooooosive child about this.

Who in the actual fuck has a sulk about there not being enough spread? I mean seriously - what the fuck???? Is he actually a tall, hirsute 3 year old? My 6 year old would be put in the spare room for some 'thinking time' for stropping like that. What a baby.

Flaxmeadow · 12/09/2020 05:21

but to be honest if I was heading off for a night shift in (what I assume is) a bit of a dull job it wouldn't take much to put me into a mood either. Working and sleeping at odd hours can do that

Running a household, budgeting, shopping? looking after children? keeping everyone happy and entertaining visitors is no picnic either

NameChange1966 · 12/09/2020 05:27

Here’s my two penneth worth.

He works overnight in retail. He was complaining about having to buy sandwiches in his break.

Presumably he therefore works in a 24 hour supermarket?

So could buy his own butter/margarine/spread/spreadable butter and slap it all over his body if he wanted.

He’s unreasonable for a) sulking b) not being the Margarine Monitor in your house.

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 12/09/2020 05:27

Also, did we all miss the part where the only reason OP's DM was in the house at all was to take care of OP who is poorly? So why in the everloving fuck does anyone think its somehow OP's job to keep up adequate spread levels? DM is there to help, husband can get some more spread or just not have ham sandwiches today WITHOUT ALL THE SULKING AND CAN MAYBE TRY TO ACT LIKE AN ACTUAL ADULT.

I am very cross about this. I think I'm projecting a little. Blush

Baboomtsk · 12/09/2020 05:37

@Flaxmeadow did I miss the post in which OP says she does all this and her husband does none? All those other things sound preferable to doing night shifts in retail anyway, depending on what the kids are like.