Is this normal or am I just a crap housewife

[AlistairandAnna]

2 DC (4 and 2yrs old) and whilst I just about manage to keep on top of the dishes, washing and clear away toys at the end of the day, my flat is far from clean. The sofa covers need washing, the furniture has sticky hand prints on it and need a wipe down, the bedding could definitely be changed more frequently and let's not talk about the bathroom. Is this normal or am I a crap housewife? I genuinely cannot find the energy or time to do all this in between looking after the DC, making meals, the school run and the basic housework I already do!

Sounds normal to me. I always prioritise fun and socialising over housework, then am far too tired to do much at the end of the day. I’m not even a single parent! I am literally in awe of people who do this solo all the time.

I’m so glad I read this post as I feel exactly the same! I got so overwhelmed and fed up with the mess I asked the OH to take the kids out (aged 1 and 4) to try and get on top of it!! Which I rarely ask. I’m too knackered and I don’t have any other family. The state of the house gets me down but I can only do so much. When the babies are so young they need a lot of attention. I envy my friends neat houses I don’t know how they do it! But yes cut yourself some slack x

A not so organized friend of mine turned me onto the "Fly Lady" years ago (I read the book, but now she is online). Great method for breaking down cleaning into doable bits, even with littles in the house. Also years later when I really felt a genuine lack of energy, I had my thyroid tested and discovered I am hypothyroid and have hashimoto's disease. I waited way too long to get on replacement meds. If you genuinely feel a physical lack of energy, get your thyroid tested (full thyroid panel with antibodies). It is frequently low after pregnancy and childbirth and worth checking. Good luck, don't worry about cleaning perfection as long as the kids are happy and healthy and feel loved every day.

This is perfectly normal. Cut yourself some slack, you are doing your best. If you find you have a moment when the children are occupied and you have the energy, do one of the jobs, but don't beat yourself up about it. Bringing up children is exhausting and the marks you wiped today, will be back tomorrow. It's far more important to play with and read to your children.

I started following it recently too. I couldn’t often find half an hour in one go so I basically do 10-15 minutes here and there, starting with the daily tasks. I can usually squeeze in the last 10-15 mins once DH is home but I don’t beat myself up if I can’t. The house was pretty untidy with a newborn and elder DS in lockdown but it’s gradually improving!

I was replying to a message about finding time for Team TOMM but I’m not sure it’s copied in the original. I don’t often post in here! 😂

You are not a crap housewife! No one has ever won a Nobel Peace prize for clean carpets! Far too much pressure is put onto us women to be the perfect mother, perfect cleaner, perfect partner, perfect size 10! Life is for living and with 2 small children you have a lot on your plate already, so what if the washing up gets done once a day, I'm sure your children would much prefer to play with mummy than be sat in front of a tv/tablet whilst you run yourself ragged cleaning up! There will be plenty of time for housework when the kids are older so till then, blow off the hoovering and take your children out to the park instead and make some happy memories.

I regret worrying about keeping up with the housework when the children were small, they grow up so quickly, wish I could turn the clock back now and just play with them all day 😢 My ex was a stress head though, everything had to run like fking clockwork.

It’s not only little kids you end up clearing up from I have 3grown men who do not see any tidying up to do .My husband was brought up to be lazy at home whilst his mum ran around after 3men Son followed his example .Told son to move out

Normal! You cannot have kids that age and also have a perfect house and also be a fun attentive mum. Unless you have a cleaner or a lot of childcare.