Is this normal or am I just a crap housewife

[AlistairandAnna]

2 DC (4 and 2yrs old) and whilst I just about manage to keep on top of the dishes, washing and clear away toys at the end of the day, my flat is far from clean. The sofa covers need washing, the furniture has sticky hand prints on it and need a wipe down, the bedding could definitely be changed more frequently and let's not talk about the bathroom. Is this normal or am I a crap housewife? I genuinely cannot find the energy or time to do all this in between looking after the DC, making meals, the school run and the basic housework I already do!

My house was a sticky mess when my kids were little. I found flylady when they were teenagers and that really helped. They've left home now but I still apply the flylady principles, because I am not a natural housekeeper by any stretch of the imagination. DH has picked up the parts of it that are important to me too, bless him.

Unless you are just really disorganised, if you want to do more cleaning then you need to prioritise that more which means doing less of something else. So maybe you go from being a not such good housewife but great mother to being a great housewife but not such good mother. It's a choice. It's not a choice I made.

But there are less significant ways to change things. Maybe you go from tidying the toys every day and never wiping down the furniture to tidying the toys every other day and wiping down the furniture on the days you don't tidy.

What is important to you?

(and yes, it is totally normal)

@Divebar

I should have cleaned today but I had some time alone so I did a hobby instead 🤷‍♀️ People who are fantatical about cleaning are always the dullest person at the party. In fact they don’t go to parties they’re that dull. Perhaps see if you could afford a “ spring clean” from a lovely cleaning firm to help get you on track a bit. Then it’s just maintenance.

I'm sure your hobby makes you absolutely fascinating...

I am absolutely bloody sick of the constant putting down of other women because their standards are different to other peoples'.

Yes you are a crap housewife.
Then again so am I.
I'm a kick ass mother though, as are you.
Better a messy house than unhappy children.
You can clean when they're big

Oh honey, you are doing great. With a fully-hands on partner I was constantly juggling chaos when mine were your age. If I could advise the young family version of myself it would be: enjoy playing with them more than guilting about trying to emulate Mrs Hinch because that’s what stays with them. They’re unlikely to hit their teens musing ‘wish mum had washed sofa cushions more’ whereas they’ll recall the time spent together doing stuff. Do cut yourself some slack.

I'm a lone parent and both my dc's are at secondary school. Last Saturday's pizza trays are still in the sink. My standards are low.
(I have cleaned bathrooms, dysoned etc).

I second the if there's a possibility of a dishwasher, it's a game changer! Also when tidying up everything in one go, so just clothes, thenjust cutlery, just toys etc, and don't workout organising and separating/fixing toys all the time, sometimes they can all be done together. After that just make sure you sit down and play, that's the most important thing!!

Sticky hand prints are avoidable by encouraging your kiddies to eat at the table and wash their hands afterwards. You're doing a grand job though.

If you work outside the home, no. If you don’t work it’s achievable. Avoid sticky handprints by only giving them snacks at the table/high chair then wiping hands.

hand they don't for some reason. They had a rinse after being used. Just not a decent scrub.

I've a 4 and 6 year old and always manage to keep my house clean. I tidy during the day, hoover after meals, dishes in dishwasher straight away etc. Load of washing every day , washed dried and put straight away. Then once kids in bed I do 30-60 clean up. I find if I stay on top of everything it's much easier and the house stays clean.

Completely normal whilst they’re that young.

Dishwasher, a cordless vacuum cleaner and a mop that you fill with cleaning fluid (washable mop pad not disposables they're rubbish), these things mean it takes 15-20 minutes each night to come down the next morning to a house that doesn't make me want to cry

But when children are 2 and 4 provided the children have a good bedtime routine you actually have an evening. Why not clean then? Obviously not their bedrooms but you could certainly give the kitchen a good clean or keep on top of laundry.

Sorry, I need to be clean and tidy to function well so was happy to do this.

I follow Team Tomm blog and FB and it's helped so much get a grip on house work and I have time to relax. I have two dc under 4.

Definitely good only at the table or high chair, DS (21 months) told DN off last week as they were both given a snack and DN started to wander off with his, cue DS 'Oh no, sit down'.... It does largely stop the sticky hand prints, and he only drinks water around the house (milk before nap and bed) so any spillages are not sticky!

A tidy house is a sign of a wasted life.
Just saying.

@Cakeisbest that’s a lovely poem

No you just need a cleaner like everyone else with 2 kids.

I'm sure your hobby makes you absolutely fascinating...

I am absolutely bloody sick of the constant putting down of other women because their standards are different to other peoples'.

Pathetic isn't it?

My mental health would have suffered if my house had been a mess with young kids.

I hate this ridiculous attitude that you have to chose between happy children and a tidy house. My house was a hell of a lot more blissful because it was how I liked it to be.

What is the sign of a wasted life is an unhappy house, with people stressing out because they can't find keys/phone/passports, are running late, are missing appointments, are panicking about a visitor, are obsessing about a mounting pile of laundry and a to-do-list with no end.

A home quick to maintain gives you more freedom to actually enjoy and spend time with your kids. And have a hobby...