...to think this extended maternity leave bollocks just needs to stop.

[ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54089754

I can't be the only one to think the campaign has run its course and just needs to stop?

Labouring women are still not allowed to be with their partners in anything but an hour of the actual birth....the phrase 'bigger fish to fry' can't help but spring to mind.....

Lifetime supply of gin?
Sounds fair. On repeat prescription.

I had a baby in November, so would normally be coming to the end of my maternity leave (as it happens I am self employed so only took 8 weeks).

It's not exactly been what we expected.. we've not been able to attend baby groups, had only limited contact with family members. But if the point of maternity leave is to bond with your baby and recover, surely that hasn't been affected? In fact, I would say that it's been more likely that the other parent has been around more than would have been expected.

The only issue I can see is struggling to find childcare at the end of the period, but that's the case for any parent of a child under about 12. I don't see why that needs an extension of maternity leave.

What I am more annoyed about is the fact that my husband's employer went into administration 3 weeks before the baby was born so guess what - no shared parental leave payments. Luckily we had financially planned to not rely on it, but not exactly an advert for encouraging fathers to take a bigger role in the upbringing of their child (if I had been made redundant at that time then I could have had full SMP for 39 weeks).

[quote Peony9876]What we really need is the government to support childcare providers rather than extend maternity leave. Two of the nurseries near me have closed permantly due to covid and as a result the others and the childminders are oversubscribed. I am facing the prospect of loosing my job unless I pay £14 an hour for a nanny which I can't afford.

www.daynurseries.co.uk/news/article.cfm/id/1630171/half-nursery-staff-say-nursery-risk-closure-covid-19[/quote]
Such a good point! This would also have a much worse effect on women in general. If childcare becomes too difficult to find, women cannot go back to work.

At what point do you draw a line though?

So let’s say you’ve been able to extend your maternity leave by 3 months.....it looks as though all of the same problems Mentioned such as not going to groups, coffee morning, swim etc are now going to remain. And for the actual problems such as no HV visits, midwife visits, unless your local services Have already resumed, it looks as though that will be off the cards.

During a pandemic, we can not compensate everything that people feel they have lost

@GoldenOmber

Way to uphold the patriarchy sisters.

How is it upholding the patriarchy to suggest that ‘more time to go to baby groups’ may not be the most pressing priority for supporting working mothers this year?

Exactly. Just because we aren’t fully supporting a petition for this doesn’t mean that we’re not feminists. Just that we’re not in the baby bubble and realise that this genuinely isn’t an important issue for working women.

I think it's outrageous, bordering on criminal that postnatal care was practically just stopped, with nothing in its place- the far bigger issue. I do feel for both parents who have babies during lockdown, but unfortunately extending mat leave won't do anything to 'fix' it, get the time back or make the effects of not being in anyone elses care before any easier. People have petitioned for years for extended leave for those with preemies, and until that's passed into law (which is in a few years as far as I remember), then nope. With so many losing their jobs, I honestly think extending paid maternity leave is not fair, I would say an unpaid guaranteed extension if feasible for the company is fair.

I wished we’d had our third child during lockdown, it would have been amazing my husband actually around (working from home granted) those first 3 months rather than taking about a week off as he did with our other children. Friends who had lockdown baby’s said similar, it was great their husband got that extra time. Also imagine your mother in law not being allowed to visit for 3 months after having a baby, like a dream come true 🤣.

@mumsthewurd

wow. the vitriol and total lack of compassion on this thread shows me why feminism is doomed. Women are even more judgemental and cruel to other women than men are. Way to uphold the patriarchy sisters. Divide and conquer.

You know what actually upholds the patriarchy? Making women less employable through ridiculous demands and petitions.

It is minimising to boil it down to just missing baby massage.

Bloody ridiculous and self centred! And I'm on maternity leave.

Half my mat leave has been during lockdown (2nd baby) .... yes I morn the mat leave I expected to have ....however I'm realistic...where is all this extra mat leave money coming from? Also employers aren't going to be able to cope with extended mat leave! .... I've still had time to bond with my baby she has still been here beside me throughout! So why should I get extra mat leave! ....in fact in a way its worked out well as if i wasn't in mat leave we would have had to juggle 2 working parents and a toddler! (Respect to all those out there in that situation) .... also it has meant DH has had a chance to bond loads more with the toddler and baby since he has been WFH.

Would I have felt the same if it was my first ....I'm not sure ....i do know I would again have mourned the mat leave I expected....however I still think I would have realised the total impractibility of extended mat leave ....everyone has been affected by lockdown and its rubbish!

First things first I do sympathise with those who had their babies during lockdown... I had post natal anxiety and I think it would have been increased massively if I had given birth during lockdown. My DD was nearly 9 months when lockdown started and I didn’t get the 1 year HV visit and she’s not been weighed etc. So yes I can sympathise with those who’ve not had the support as it must have been tough.

However, I totally disagree with the petition... i went back to work 3 weeks before lockdown when DD was 8 months. My role required me to work a lot of extra hours due to covid including 12 hour days (at least) and regularly working 6/7 days in the week at a time when we suddenly lost our support network such as help from the grandparents etc..... then I see people from the baby groups I attended whose DC are the same age as mine demanding extra leave!! Lockdown has been rubbish for everyone but I would take maternity in lockdown rather than just going back to work in lockdown and the s**t hitting the proverbial fan

@PablosHoney

It is minimising to boil it down to just missing baby massage.

The actual petition says:

In light of the recent outbreak and lock down, those on maternity leave should be given 3 extra months paid leave, at least. This time is for bonding and social engaging with other parents and babies through baby groups which are vital for development and now everything has been cancelled.

@Rae5647

Have you had a baby during or shortly before the pandemic? If not, you can’t really sympathise.

No, but my DS was diagnosed with cancer when he was 5 months old and we also couldn't socialise with anyone because he was on chemo. It also meant I didn't get the "usual" maternity leave experience (baby groups, hanging out with mum friends in Costa, etc). I didn't demand that my employer extended maternity leave as a consequence - just sucked it up as bad luck and was thankful that it wasn't worse!

I really don't understand the need for an extension, they have had the leave, it's not as though they have had to work longer because of lockdown, I doubt any newborn has been affected unless the mother had been neurotic. Sorry you've missed your coffee and cake, others have lost far more important thngs.

@mumsthewurd

wow. the vitriol and total lack of compassion on this thread shows me why feminism is doomed. Women are even more judgemental and cruel to other women than men are. Way to uphold the patriarchy sisters. Divide and conquer.

I haven’t seen much lack of compassion. There’s lots of realism, both about what the country can afford and the long term effects on women and their place in the workplace. Supporting this kind of issue is handing the patriarchy ammunition in its prejudices against working women.

The actual petition says:

In light of the recent outbreak and lock down, those on maternity leave should be given 3 extra months paid leave, at least. This time is for bonding and social engaging with other parents and babies through baby groups which are vital for development and now everything has been cancelled.

Exactly! If it was a petition to reinstate postnatal care as a top priority, I'd sign it myself.

I had my first baby at the peak of this pandemic and I am against this extended maternity leave petition.

I didn't get the support that I needed, either externally or from family and friends as I had hoped I would but I don't see how an additional maternity leave will solve that. Yes, I've not been able to go to any classes, or meet up with other mums etc. and I've not had the help I had hoped for but an additional 3 months maternity leave won't change that.

What I have had, is a lot of quality time with my baby.

More middle-class privilege. Low-income households don’t have the luxury of 12 months fanning about at baby yoga or signing.

I had my children abroad where ML is far shorter. I saw my peers destroy their careers because frankly they become institutionalised after a year.

I think it's really tough for people who have had babies during the pandemic, especially if they've had traumatic births etc, but I don't think extending maternity leave is a proportionate response.

With DC1 I was in a wheelchair for most of my year off, due to pregnancy complications. I would obviously have loved to have had extra time to (1) recover and then (2) actually enjoy the leave, but it would have been unreasonable to request it.

With DC1 he was born with an airway defect that actually meant we had to self-isolate for most of the first year. When he wasn't actually being treated in hospital, we weren't able to go to all the baby clubs because the doctors said it was too dangerous. It was terrifying and we were always anxious. We compromised with 1 social activity a week. Lots of fresh air, avoiding anyone ill etc. So we've done this, and yes it was tough and I felt he didn't get the full experience, but I didn't go round demanding extra maternity leave. We did bond really closely due to being stuck together on our own all the time.

Sorry the 3rd paragraph refers to DC2.

YANBU. Thanks to the EU, maternity leave is pretty generous in this country anyway. My friend is a restaurant manager in the US - she got six weeks and that was significantly more than her wait-staff.
These impulsively emotive petitions annoy me anyway. I was urged by another mum to sign a petition about reopening soft play centres: what jumped out of the half of dozen terrible paragraphs was the one which suggested NI centres had been permitted to reopen because Arlene Foster is a woman and therefore has a greater empathy for women whose greatest wish is apparently to see 'Tots Tumblez' reopen. I suggested she Google Arlene Foster to better understand the depth of her compassion.

YANBU. There are some valid points made by people about lack of access to adequate physical and mental health care. I’d support a petition about that.

A family member just had a baby during the pandemic. The whole experience was horrific. I don't think extended maternity leave is the answer. But I know people are in need of a huge amount of post natal support to come to terms with what happened.

Sorry I meant the comments about what new parents missed out on not the petition, badly worded on my part.