...to think this extended maternity leave bollocks just needs to stop.

[ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54089754

I can't be the only one to think the campaign has run its course and just needs to stop?

Labouring women are still not allowed to be with their partners in anything but an hour of the actual birth....the phrase 'bigger fish to fry' can't help but spring to mind.....

YADNBU. The whole thing is ridiculous.

I lost my DD at the end of last year to stillbirth. I would have given anything to have spent lockdown holed up with her and DH, just the three of us. Instead we were robbed of our time with her and have spent months grieving what should have been. Some people missed out on coffee mornings and baby massage?! Cry me a fricking river.

I'm now pregnant again and due to give birth next month. I'm far more concnered about all the appointments DH has missed out on during what is a very nerve wracking and anxious time for us. Plus he can only be with me for a tiny part of the birth.

I know my experience is mine alone and not the norm but I'm not ashamed to say that when I hear about people advocating these ridicuous petitions I can't help but think they are selfish, grabby and frankly should be grateful they have their children with them. Many don't.

Physical healing - all follow up operations and physio was cancelled following a difficult birth. I have been left with significant “injuries” for which I didn’t receive treatment and are unlikely to be treatable now.

That’s awful and you should absolutely be compensated, but extra mat leave isn’t the answer.

This issue though is one of the ones that makes me most cross, and it’s not just post natal care.

There were so many routine appointments/operations/procedures cancelled during lockdown and that is going to have a lasting impact on so many people’s health going forward. Also people not being able to access GP appointments has lead to few people being diagnosed with potentially life threatening serious illnesses, and by the time they are finally diagnosed it could be too late.
There will be far more deaths as a result of COVID than from the virus itself. But I digress.

Mixed feelings on this. If it was a second child, I would have been hugely grateful to be on maternity leave during lockdown... Having to balance wfh with caring for a toddler almost killed me!

Having said that, I do remember the awful loneliness of those first few months of parenthood...It was definitely getting out of the house and meeting people that kept me from getting depressed. And it is largely meeting up with the friends I made during my first mat leave for park trips and walks which has kept me sane over the past few months. So although I don't think this can be a priority with all the other problems we're facing, they're not just moaning. I'd be astonished if there hasn't been a rise in mental health issues amongst new mothers.

I also think that sometimes to get your whole mat leave is a blessing, some can’t afford it. A friend is a farmer and she had no choice but to get back working VERY quickly, that’s farm life for her. I am great full that me and my DH can afford for me to Be off the whole 12 months as it is.

I had my first baby just at the end of December, so he has spent most of his life this way and isn't particularly bothered. It's not been great for me and certainly wasn't the maternity leave I was expecting. I had been imagining lovely summery glasses of wine in beer gardens with a snoozing baby and visits to grandparents. But also I've had a really lovely opportunity to bond with the baby and looking on the bright side my husband was furloughed for a month which was a real treat!

Luckily my son isn't particularly bothered about being left in nursery (he's had a modified settling in period this week and hasn't even had the good grace to look a bit upset). Surely a baby that would have separation anxiety would have it regardless of lockdown?

I'm more concerned that birth partners aren't being allowed on wards. My best friend had a baby 6 weeks ago and after a traumatic birth was in hospital for a few days. She wasn't able to shower properly her stay on the ward as the nurses weren't able to look after the baby and her partner's visits were limited.

Selfishly I wouldn't mind if they extended the free dental care, I'm due to go back to work in a week and had been scheduled for some dental work on the day lockdown went into affect. By the time the dentist reopens I'll have to pay for it

YANBU. An extra 3 months does exactly nothing, doesnt change the previous 6 months and in the grand scheme of things doesnt help with separation anxiety etc. These things are child dependant.

I am 7 months pregnant and I am far more concerned about the utterly shit care women are currently experiencing. I am having a section in Nov and unless things change DH will be kicked out once my son is born and I will be left alone, potentially for days, until I am discharged.

Why isnt there outrage for this issue? I feel lots and lots of women, myself included, are at greater risk of pnd by being left on their own.

There really are bigger issues than missing out making mum friends and attending baby groups.

Shocking. It's been tough for everyone, for their own reasons.

I'd rather see nhs staff, shop workers and all those that kept going have an extra 3 months off.

@Shefliesonherownwings, so very sorry. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can for you. 💐

Babies have never been looked after by anyone else and don’t know their own grandparents

To be fair neither of those is uncommon. Nobody ever looked after my babies apart from me and they only had one set of gps who live 6 hours away. It's a bit lonely at times but the actual circumstances aren't unusual for a lot of mums.

Shefliesonherownwings Wishing you a smooth birth and lovely time at home with your baby.

@ClickandForget

Babies have never been looked after by anyone else and don’t know their own grandparents

To be fair neither of those is uncommon. Nobody ever looked after my babies apart from me and they only had one set of gps who live 6 hours away. It's a bit lonely at times but the actual circumstances aren't unusual for a lot of mums.

Same. My DS is 2 years old and he has yet to have been watched by anyone other than me. He's about to start childcare though...do I get 3 months extra salary to get him settled in then ?

Oh sorry me or DH I should say.

[quote Rae5647]@ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo

9 months maternity pay from a system I have been paying full time salary tax Contributions Into for 20+ years, same as many others. That’s the benefit of living in the U.K. That isn’t “extra” money paid to us due to COVID?! As I say, I would’ve taken extra time unpaid if it meant I could have let my child get used to their grandparents or nursery nurses.[/quote]
I paid tax for almost 50 years, latterly at higher rate, and didn’t have a single day of maternity leave because it didn’t exist when I had mine. I hate it when people play the taxpayer card.

@FilthyforFirth

DH wasn't able to stay with me and dc2 after our csection, because he had to stay with dc1. It was honestly fine. Postnatal care is shite, but it has been since dc1 was born nearly 6 years ago, at least. DH was booted out then as well! It isn't great. I wish there was more help for mums on postnatal wards, but actually, I don't think covid is the biggest factor there; it has been shit for years.

It’s a joke, what would extending it do for those due back now? We are still in local lockdowns, not all baby groups etc have opened or are likely to soon, no idea how long it’s going to go on for. And what happens to those that have now gone back? Having had mat leave during the worst part, do they get another three months? Why? their child will now have started to socialise with childminders

Time to move on

Are people still banging on about this? For goodness sake, you've had a healthy baby. Lockdown was 7 weeks, after which people were gradually able to do things again. I'm not really sure how you've missed "so much"?

@Rae5647 and it's not 'extra' to those who received furlough payments?! It's 20% less than what they would have otherwise been getting those three months?

And what about people in my industry - who are now living on £325 UC a month and have been since March? I suppose the government handout is just extra to those people too right?

That was meant to be reassuring 🤦‍♀️. It will hopefully be fine, is what I mean @FilthyforFirth . Sorry, went off on one. Postnatal care is one of my pet peeves.

@Rae5647 also you CAN take an extra 3 months. And it will be unpaid. That already exists.

I've had a baby during lockdown and still do not agree with extended mat leave at all.. it's ridiculous.. everyone has lost something during the pandemic and we can't all be compensated for it.. people who have lost their loved ones can't just get them back.. there's worse losses that could of been suffered than not being able to go to a baby group. I also have a 20 month old and he's suffered the most, his attachment to me has become unhealthy and he's really struggling with the transition back into the childminder so I get the challenges lockdown has presented for people.. but it still doesn't mean mat leave should be extended.

Separation anxiety is pretty normal with most babies, who else still leaves the loo door unlocked to save it being hammered on?

@Rae5647 - many, many people pay into the system but never have children. Should they get a bonus of the equivalent of 9 months maternity pay? You know, just to make it fair. You seem keen on people getting their money's worth out of their tax contributions.