...to think this extended maternity leave bollocks just needs to stop.

[ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54089754

I can't be the only one to think the campaign has run its course and just needs to stop?

Labouring women are still not allowed to be with their partners in anything but an hour of the actual birth....the phrase 'bigger fish to fry' can't help but spring to mind.....

Oh yes, I can also add that a young man who was a friend of my friend's partner, if you can work that out...was travelling in early march, before lockdown, contracted malaria which came on when he got back to London. He called an ambulance and they wouldn't come and get him as he wasn't struggling to breathe. They found him twice hours later, dead, in a pool of his own fluids.

I mean, it's been a fucking horror show. It just screams of entitlement and is just so tone deaf for these women to be harping on about baby massage. I'd have loved to have a year of loveliness with my new baby and granny there on hand to help. I didn't get that either, but that's not motherhood is in reality, for many women. Such overprivileged nonsense. Honestly.

@ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo as per my post I’m asking why you’re directing the rage towards new Mams.

For those who are saying their baby didn't leave the living room for 6 months, unless you were shielding going out was allowed and actually encouraged.
Separation anxiety is a thing on its own, sure covid restrictions made it worse but it's not the only cause.

I wish women would stop embarrassing us with these ridiculous positions. Some of us actually want to be taken seriously in the workplace and close the gender pay gap.

So pampered! As a PP said, how will an extended 3 months help these problems? So many women have issues during maternity leave and can't go out. Some people have no family to help anyway. Some people don't go to baby classes. Having a baby usually means weeks in the house at the beginning anyway. Honestly, if this is people's biggest problem, they are lucky. This is so spoilt and first world that it is an absolute cringe. On top of all that, the economy is on its knees - this is just not what society needs to spend it's money on. Can people screaming for this have a look at some of the awful things going on in the world - think, e.g., of the recent fire in the refugee camp- and think again about whether extended maternity leave is really what they want to put their campaigning energy into?

[quote TiredMamof2]@ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo as per my post I’m asking why you’re directing the rage towards new Mams.[/quote]
The op doesn't appear to be in a rage. Don't try and imply that her perfectly reasonable, calm post is ragey/hysterical. People do that when they want to shut people down and it's shitty.

My DD was born at the end of october, and I am due to go back to work in 3 weeks or so. I was asked to sign this petition and said no. Yes, things have been different, but to be honest I can't afford to take another 3 months maternity leave, especially since it looks more and more likely that I will be furloughed in 3 weeks time (or made redundant). Either way I need to be moving on from maternity and bringing money in.

In terms of socialising and dropping babies at nursery, I've dropped DD for her first session today. She looked so confused, bless her, but I've spoken to the staff this afternoon and they are really happy with her. Babies can be resilient little things I think. Overall dropping her off was no harder that it was when her brother started at the same age tbh.

Petitions, not positions. Although...

Exactly. Parks and playgrounds have been full of families as well. It is serious hyperbole to say that babies born in lockdown have not seen any humans apart from their parents.

Apparently bereavement leave has been extended to 2 weeks as of April this year. So a woman whose body has gone through pregnancy and labour, and the trauma of not having a baby at the end of it, gets a whole 2 weeks to recover! Wtf!!! (Unless I've misunderstood and its 2 weeks on top of mat leave? The gov website says if you've already started mat leave then you still get it. What about if you haven't started it?)
Sorry. Gone off on a tangent there.

I don’t think the extension is appropriate because the reason for 1 year maternity leave is to allow breastfeeding for the recommended time. This is not affected by the pandemic. I get that people haven’t had the enjoyable time they would have liked but the point of mat leave is not to give mothers a fun year off work. The point is the well being of the baby.

I don’t understand this. I second all the posters who say that maternity leave is to help bonding with the baby, physically recover from birth, hopefully get some sort of sleep pattern set up and feeding established. None of which has been stopped by Covid.

Has the experience of maternity leave become an experience to treasure separate from the birth of your child? 2020 has been shit for everyone, thrown challenges for everyone but this kind of stuff just needs to be dealt with. It just seems a bit fragile.

YANBU, and I'll be having a baby this year.

The one thing I'd quite like extended is the entitlement to free dental care - my teeth need work and my dentist still isn't open. With waiting lists growing, I can see me ending up having to pay for treatment. Not the end of the world, but it also wouldn't be that big a deal for them to extend it!

But in the grand scheme of things, I'm far more concerned about maternity care (I've had problems here), and the possibility that DH won't be able to be there for (at least some of) the birth. Missing baby groups is sad but it doesn't justify wanting more mat leave, in my opinion.

I don’t think this campaign did itself any favours at first by talking about missing out on their planned maternity leave experience eg no baby groups. Plenty of people don’t have that for various reasons (ill baby, PND, financial limits), and don’t get extra paid time off work.
The points being made about lack of post natal support (either from midwives, or from not being able to see family) are awful, obviously. But I’m not sure how extra paid leave would solve this? Again, plenty of people have little support and don’t get extra time.
The arguments around not being able to find childcare are far more relevant and important because these are actually specific to coronavirus and would be solved by additional time. If coronavirus has stopped you being able to find childcare, then what can else can you do except quit your job, or ask for more time?

I had a baby just before lockdown and have definite concerns about him soon starting nursery. DS has separation anxiety and becomes very upset when unknown adults come near him or I leave the room. I don't think this is his true personality, when he settles a bit he is actually very sociable, more so than my elder child who never showed the slightest hint of separation anxiety at the same age. I'm convinced it is Covid and lockdown related. I'm dreading leaving him the first time at nursery.

But I still don't agree with extending maternity leave. It is what it is and contributing to recovering the economy has to be the priority right now.

That being said, I do think the maternity exemption, particularly for dental care should be extended. Both pregnancies damaged my teeth and I've still been unable to see a dentist this time.

Oh ffs, I had a baby seven weeks ago and I think this idea is bonkers. There has been support available if needed.
I am more worried for my 20 month old, who has really missed the social aspect of all the groups we used to attend.
He is starting nursery in January and I am trying to ensure heat prepared by having playdates outside as much as possible.
Having a baby at this time really hasn't been a big deal. If you want more time, become a stay at home parent. That's what I have done. I know I am lucky to have that choice, but I don't think employers should have to pay out more.

In the absence of extra leave, some kind of acknowledgement of the issues COVID has caused for new mums at the very least should be considered. E.g. phased return, allowing children to be home for part of the day if WFH, flexible hours being offered etc.

Trust me you do NOT want to set up an expectation for WFH with young children home part of the day. It was absolute hell juggling this during lockdown.

I don’t deny that new mums have had a rough time of it going through lockdown but come on, so have the rest of us. At least if I’d been on mat leave I could have spent proper time with my children rather than (what felt like) neglecting them for work.

I agree

Maternity leave is for the baby to form a secure bond with primary caregivers and for the mother to physically heal.

Neither of these things have been affected by lockdown.

Yes it's been dull and worrying but the whole country has been bored and stressed. Financial help is not limited and needs to be prioritised to those who have lost jobs etc.

To be honest, I find the women moaning and petitioning about this embarrassing. When you look at the devastating effect covid has had around the globe - the deaths, illnesses, job losses, financial ruin, children dying alone, funeral restrictions, children missing out on six months of school, lasting chronic health conditions after covid, mental health issues, increase in still births, being trapped in abusive relationships, loneliness, helplessness... I could go on, they are complaining about not meeting all the mummy friends they presumed they'd make for lattes and music with mummy sessions. They honestly believe they should be put above all of the other victims of the pandemic. For once, we are actually all in this together and just have to get on with it.
Will an extra three months paid maternity leave undo the baby in the article's separation anxiety? If so, can I claim it now to help with my two year old who cries when I drop her off at the child minder? If new mums are able to claim it, why shouldn't all mums as lockdown was a bit shit for everybody.

What about those women whose babies are born prem and spend a lot of their maternity leave in the NICU? We don’t hear them complaining.
Not complaining, but many have rightly sought changes to parental leave to reflect the reality of recovering from birth with a babh requiring round the clock hospital care.
Bliss did a really good campaign. Hopefully it will offer better protections for future parents when he changes come into force.

Having been in that position, I don't think the difficulties of families who have babies in neonatal are that relevant to the current petition.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander I thought that if you gave birth after 24 weeks, it's classed as stillbirth and as such you are entitled to maternity leave?

It’s on top of maternity leave @TheFormerPorpentinaScamander.

The real issue is the expectation that you return to work in a matter of days if your spouse, older child or parent dies. It’s barbaric.

@Rae5647

Wow completely ignorant comments here! It’s nothing like “phoning in sick for three months”.

There are many complex issues arising from COVID for new mums and babies. Like I say unless you are living this, you can’t possibly appreciate it.

All aftercare was dropped, no treatment for birth injuries, pnd, no breastfeeding support - no support full stop. Babies have never been looked after by anyone else and don’t know their own grandparents. This is not like normal times where it is hard enough going back to work. Any idea how hard it is to drop a baby off at a nursery when they’ve barely left the living room for 6 months and have no idea other humans existed? Traumatising for everyone. Can you appreciate how hard it is to accept mentally that you’re putting your elderly parents at risk of COVID by having them babysit so you can go back to work?

New mums have received ZERO support. None of support they were supposed to get to help bring a baby into the world and zero support financially.

I don’t see Why you would be riled about trying to help vulnerable mothers through the worst pandemic in 100 years. How does it affect you exactly?

Have some compassion.

@Rae5647 then ideally what we should be looking at is the return of ante/post-natal services as a priority. My grandson is four weeks old - during that time my daughter has seen the midwife once and had three meetings with the health visitor, two via zoom. Maybe she's extra lucky, but that's almost on par with my experience of giving birth to her sister, thirteen years ago. COVID will definitely have made things harder for a lot of new mums, but extending maternity leave is in no way going to give them back what they feel they've missed out on.

I don’t think the extension is appropriate because the reason for 1 year maternity leave is to allow breastfeeding for the recommended time

That isn't the reason at all. Why do you think that?