To find the expression 'we are pregnant' ridiculous and irritating

[dallaspalace]

Under most circumstances there is only one person who is pregnant in a couple. Wishing this expression would disappear but instead I notice it's use becoming more and more common.

I understand that this may come from a good place as both parents want to share in the experience but growing a baby is quite an undertaking for the mum and I think this expression trivialises it a bit.

What's the general consensus?

I am pregnant for the second time and poor DH only ever said it once... I snapped back (in front of friends) "yes and WE have had terrible morning sickness and constipation throughout, haven't WE."
He's never done it again...

YANBU, though my opinion is based on a good friend of mine using it even though her husband was a cock, and I couldn’t stand him being credited with being part of it.

In fact I organised a baby shower for her and not only did he come, he told her he’d done most of the work for it. If I’d had MN then, there would have been a full 1000 post extravaganza, I can tell you. 🤯)

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and just want to offer a slightly different perspective.

I used to hate that phrase, but now I use it myself. We have been through stillbirth of twins, a MMC and this pregnancy is IVF following infertility. I am the one who has physically gone though everything, but we went through the emotional side together.

I prefer them to be OUR pregnancies as then it doesn't feel like it is so much my fault when things have gone wrong. It feels like a shared journey.

Yanbu because I've always hated it, but then I read posts like that of @Bumbers and suddenly I find it far less irritating. to you, Bumbers, and best wishes for this pregnancy.

I prefer them to be OUR pregnancies as then it doesn't feel like it is so much my fault when things have gone wrong. It feels like a shared journey.

I see where you're coming from but if one of a couple gets cancer, do 'they'have cancer? Or indeed any other illness? If one gets made redundant have 'they' been made redundant?

Congrats on your pregnancy BTW, sounds like you've been on a really long journey.

Such a cringe phrase!

I actually find it totally moronic and would absolutely judge someone coming out with it🙄🤣

@Bumbers I am so sorry for the loss of your twins. I can see why you would both use the expression and justly so. Wishing you both all the best with your pregnancy

Omg thought it was just me. I absolutely loathe the phrase. Obviously if I do hear it i wouldn't say anything but yeah irritates the hell out of me!

It seems to have become more popular in some circles recently.

DH was supportive during my pregnancies, but there was no “we” when it came to gagging from morning sickness, being sick in the middle of the night because of reflux, spd pain, painful let-down and leaking boobs, I was very much alone.

I’m not even getting into the “we delivered” nonsense. I’d love to the risk of death for the father during labour and the post partum period compared to the mother.

God I hated being pregnant. I hated the sickness, heartburn, spd, and I would have have to have shared it with my husband.

Yup DH tried this once and I said "Oh yes, have your boobs swollen up massively as well?"... that put an end to it lol

I'm fine with "Expecting though" - as in "we are expecting an addition to our family"...

I don't mind "we're pregnant".

In a loving relationship it is the choice of both partners and the father should be supportive, present and helping at all stages. There are situations where is the father who needs fertility treatment. "We're pregnant" includes the father in the pregnancy which is a good modern tendency as opposed to fathers just blocking everything to do with their pregnant wife. Who hasn't seen the vile comics about the men watching sports on tv while the woman is sick in the toilet with morning sickness?! Or the men who refuse to even change a diaper?

I draw the line at "we've delivered" thought!

It's such a stupid smug thing to say.. Generally those who say "we are pregnant" have an air of smugness about them.

I thought it was an Americanism. I never understood it.

I think "we're expecting" is far far nicer and humbling.

People hate this phrase on MN but I have never seen anyone even bat an eyelid when someone says it in real life. I’ve only heard Women say it though so I figure it’s their choice what they’d say! I’ve don’t think I’ve ever heard a man say it, maybe I’d feel differently if I’d heard it from lots of them.

@grey12 I see your point and that it often comes from a good place, but I still think it over steps the mark. I think pregnancy is really hard work both physically and mentally and that needs to be respected. Men have no right to encroach on that female experience.

@AnEleanor they are probably just being polite!

twee and irritating, if we are hoping to get pregnant then perhaps the man will concieve and carry a pregnancy along with all the aches, pains et al that goes with it.

A friend of mine said this, I said no ‘we’re’ bloody not. You are pregnant! You’re doing all the heavy lifting on this, own it

I agree! We use "we are having a baby" to include both of us.

I totally agree with you, it's one of the most cringeworthy phrases I've ever heard

I agree with you only the woman is pregnant. We are having a baby is fine but we are pregnant definitely not.