Dropped my newborn

[FriendlyGhost1]

My DS is now a healthy, robust 2 year old and I still cannot forgive myself for when I dropped him off the hospital bed as a newborn. :( I had a c section and was on morphine afterwards, I must of fell asleep with him sleeping on my chest in the antenatal ward and he slipped off me and rolled on to the hospital floor. :( I actually still nearly cry when I think about it, thankfully he was fine and no damage whatsoever but it makes me feel like the shittiest mum in the world that I fucked up so bad on his first day of life.

I was breastfeeding my 3 month old in bed, did the unthinkable and fell asleep. She fell off the bed and I woke not long after to find her on the floor, face up, happy as Larry. Believe me, I beat myself up for months afterwards, but never did that again. We all make mistakes but it’s important that you learn from it and move on. My 14 year old is completely fine by the way.

When my eldest ds was a few months old we were on holiday in a place where the bed was really high and the floor was rock hard marble. I put him down and he rolled off and smack. I have never heard a wail quite like it and it shook me to the core.
Then a few months after that when I was heavily pregnant with ds 2 I wasn't supervising closely enough and saw him dramatically roly poly all the way down the stairs.
Needless to say ds is now 7 and totally fine and doesn't remember either incident. I do get it though. It's not your fault. It happens.

I'm so sorry, I laughed so much at this. Just after my c section, I had a choice to save my baby or my toast, and I chose toast as my baby slipped on to the floor 😂 in my defence, I hadn't eaten for 18 hours and had just had major surgery!! My child is fine and none the wiser of my choice, which after her tantrum early, reaffirmed that I made the correct choice in choosing toast.

My DN was dropped on her head on a stone path at 3 days old by her DF, he went outside and dropped her to stop the cat rushing out. She is now a healthy 28 year old, he was mortified afterwards.

I've done it too.

Rolled off the bed. I didn't know she could roll.

Cut her wee finger with clippers - blood everywhere.

Overdosed her on Piriton - swift run to A&E.

If we were all so perfect indeed......

Op, you sound lovely. Definitely a trip to your GP just to rule anything else out, but if he's a top notch 2 year old, I think it's fine now!

YY to PP re number of midwives on ward - shockingly bad, especially in comparison to the labour suite I was in. I couldn't wait to get out of there - up and showered the next day, face on, an "I'm going home' look on me.

Sent DP to the shop for a glass of wine and a pizza. That was a good night even though I was up about 8 times to feed.

clarification

The midwives were working their arses off. Fault of the management or funding no doubt - they were all to a one kind and helpful to me and DD, when they had a bloody minute.

im pretty sure we have all dropped our baby at some point. Wriggly little things. I imagine we have probably all been dropped ourselves too. Youre giving yourselfa hard time over fuck all

I think I took my eye off the ball with my 3rd under 5 and many things happened.

A child pinged a birthing ball off their head the day they were born, I pinged them out the moses, dragging it over to feed in middle of night (stand caught my slipper), 2 year old sibling dragged them in bouncy chair and tipped them out (found on the kitchen floor) and I hung a bag on back of their pram and tipped it over. All first month or 2 and I was experienced and not on any morphine.

Child is nearly teenage now.

Honestly, it happens so so often.

With my dd she rolled off our bed onto wooden floor boards and landed face first. Nose bleed which was terrifying!
I rushed her to hospital in complete hysterics and when they form filling and asked what I do I just about managed to gasp in between tears “I’m a children’s social worker!” 🤣😭

They were very reassuring and said she was absolutely fine and they get the same thing numerous times a day.

Please, please try to let go. When we were in hospital we let our ds go too long without a feed and I felt very guilty for ages - you are not the only one who made a mistake and you are not alone.

I dropped my phone on DS head though I was conscious.
What happened to you was awful. Like a pp said the staff should have ensured your bed rail was up while holding the baby especially if morphine was involved.
On both of mine the staff insisted bed rail stayed up when holding the baby.
Definitely not your fault.

Op I fell asleep holding DC1 the night she was born in the hospital bed. Woke up still holding her but it was just luck that she didn't fall and possibly that I'd had no pain relief so was possibly more 'with it'. It was your fault, there should be more support in the hospital, especially where mum is on strong pain relief and immobile.

I had a choice to save my baby or my toast, and I chose toast as my baby slipped on to the floor 😂
I'd do the same. The toast after giving birth is heaven.

Just wanted to say the exact same thing happened to me. I fell asleep, no one had told me about putting the bed sides up and my son slipped from my arms hitting his head on the way down. Just a day old. I think it must be quite common to drop your baby. It really played on my mind that I’d done him permanent damage but he is absolutely fine and a strapping 9 year old. Go easy on yourself. It was an accident and babies are very resilient really.

I was feeding my newborn daughter and woke up to hear her crying and couldn't work out where it was coming from... I'd accidentally nodded off (sleep exhaustion) and she'd slid down the duvet and onto the floor... I was hysterical and she was absolutely fine, It's really common to accidentally drop or hurt them and really hard to get over it. I think you could do with talking to your HV about how it's still impacting you x

I was a tiny baby at birth. My parents were teenagers. They brought me home from hospital in a carry cot in the car ( no car seats in the 1960s). Mum opened the back door and grabbed the carrycot handles... but she only got one. I fell out onto my head into the gutter and rolled under the car. They had to grab my clothes and pull me.
Mum wiped me down, changed my muddy clothes and they never told anyone... until I was a grown up.
Nearly 60 yrs later there is no residual damage.... I think

I also dropped DDs1 and 2... they are ok too.

DP rolled a newborn dd out of her Moses basket. He picked the basket up with her sleeping inside but only grasped one of the handles. Dd promptly rolled out onto the floor and stayed fast asleep!

When dd at age 2 was at nursery i was called as she'd had an accident in the playground. Another child swung her round and she hit her head and needed it gluing as it bled everywhere. They called an ambulance. They phoned and i picked up my sleeping baby to go to her and dropped my baby on the carpet in my panic. Obviously i regret it, but it was an accident and not something I did on a regular basis. She's 13 now and fine

OP, hope these responses have reassured you x

My worst one was doing an exercise video in the front room, and was on the section where you're on all fours and kicking backwards...... 2 year old DS came careering into the room on his little trike and got a full face kick that punted him clean off the trike...... he was fine (26 now) and we still laugh about it - at the time it took me about a week to stop feeling sick and shaky at the mere thought of it.

Don't worry. These things happen.

When we were waiting for an emergency doctor's visit at home for our oldest who was very ill our 3rd who was about 1 or 2 put his finger into the crack by the hinge in the door and I closed the door (not knowing it was there) and the tip of his finger was hanging off - obviously worst thing I ever did. His father took him straight to A&E and they stuck it back on and I had to wait at home for the doctor for the other one. Luckily it grew back on and he went on to win music scholarships, pass grade 8 piano, trumpet, singing so even the piano was possible thank goodness despite the scar.

..grade 7 piano not that it matters - the point was despite the end of his finger having to be stuck on he was still able to play something that so depends on finger tips.

I was always even extra careful closing doors after that.

OP I hope you’re feeling reassured but as someone mentioned above, it’s a long time for you to still have these feelings and maybe they’re an indication that more is going on. Do you have someone you could process this with? It may even be worth a short counselling course to help you figure this out. For it to have such an impact on your life after so long isn’t good for you.

Literally the first day home with ds I dropped an empty mug on his head from about a foot, we had to go back to a and e. The other day I picked him up and span him round because he likes spinning (2), put him down and he ran head first into a table. Mum of the year.

Be kind to yourself, we all manage to do something that we regret with kids, usually (thankfully) there's no lasting damage.

Would it help if you raised your experience with the local pals? Not to complain but to seek reassurance that steps have been taken to minimise the risk of it happening to someone else?

Midwife dropped my brand new baby on his head as he was born. Well, more like failed to catch him coming out. Brain scans, consultant appointments etc followed. He's absolutely fine, bright as a button, no developmental delays whatsoever and definitely among the brighter children in his class at primary school. Didn't stop the guilt, worry and over zealous monitoring of his developmental milestones as a baby/toddler though; that's normal for parents.

I understand the sentiment but it cannot always be the midwives' responsibility. The amount of times I have advised/helped women to put the babies in the cot and discussed not sleeping whilst holding them, only to return 10 minutes later and the same thing is happening. I can be looking after around 10 women and babies in any one shift, I cannot be in every single bay at once so to place blame fully on the hospital just feels a little unfair. Don't beat yourself up about it though OP, accidents happen and your little one has come to know harm. Definitely doesn't make you a bad person.