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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dropped my newborn

171 replies

FriendlyGhost1 · 11/09/2020 10:08

My DS is now a healthy, robust 2 year old and I still cannot forgive myself for when I dropped him off the hospital bed as a newborn. :( I had a c section and was on morphine afterwards, I must of fell asleep with him sleeping on my chest in the antenatal ward and he slipped off me and rolled on to the hospital floor. :( I actually still nearly cry when I think about it, thankfully he was fine and no damage whatsoever but it makes me feel like the shittiest mum in the world that I fucked up so bad on his first day of life.

OP posts:

namechanger0989 · 11/09/2020 11:08

I think it's almost a right of passage as a baby to have fallen off the bed or sofa at some point.

SingingSands · 11/09/2020 11:08

OP, try saying out loud "I forgive you". Look back at that exhausted new mum, left alone on her hospital bed with no one to watch her and just whisper "I forgive you". Tell her all will be well. All is well.

Keeva2017 · 11/09/2020 11:09

@Beetlewing I’m sorry I really laughed at your post 😆.

Original poster

FriendlyGhost1 · 11/09/2020 11:11

@Beetlewing

20 years ago I dropped my weeks old baby down the headboard end of the bed and he was wedged upside down with just his legs showing. I can still see it clear as day! I felt rotten for ages but he's fine and now I can laugh about it

This one actually made me laugh

OP posts:

nevermorelenore · 11/09/2020 11:11

In a sleep-deprived state, I propped my 4 month old up behind me on the sofa, then when I stood up, she slid on the floor. I also managed to bounce my toddler son off the bed and he ended up with a huge egg on his forehead. Apparently, as a baby, I threw myself out of my mum's grip onto a tile floor and banged the back of my head. I think literally any mum on the planet will have at least one horror story where they've lost concentration for a second and done similar.

If it's getting to the point where you think about it all the time, it might be worth speaking to a doctor. I had PND and intrusive thoughts were a big part of it. Honestly, there's a lot they can do if you are struggling with this.

FindingNeverland1 · 11/09/2020 11:15

As a baby, my mum accidentally shut the car boot on my head as she was carrying me and holding the change bag. Complete accident but blood everywhere, hospital trip, stitches.
I don't remember, wasn't harmed in a lasting way and don't blame her in the slightest!! These things happen.

I have dropped both my baby DC off the bed accidentally. They were fine.

VeniceQueen2004 · 11/09/2020 11:17

I dropped my baby off the side of the bed when feeding her and she got wedged between the bed and the bedside table. She was bloody furious but absolutely fine. I cried all over her for the rest of the day 😂 it's completely standard, please please don't feel bad x

Macramacious · 11/09/2020 11:18

I tried to take a picture of my newborn baby once we got back on the ward. I forgot to turn the flash off and blinded her, panicked and dropped the phone on her face in front of the entire ward. I just sat and burst into tears until a nurse came to comfort us both.

jojobar · 11/09/2020 11:21

OP, when my DC was a couple of weeks old I had been sitting in the (parked) car with him on my lap. I put him back in his carseat to carry him indoors (it was one of the removable ones) but didn't strap him in, and basically he slid out and fell on the pavement.

I can't tell you why I didn't strap him back in or why he fell out. I was probably quite sleep deprived dealing with a newborn, a 2 year old, and a partner who returned to work the day after DC was born.

He had a bump on his head, cried for a bit. But no other consequences. I phoned NHS Direct (as it was then) in tears and a nurse called me back who was lovely and - as well as giving me advice on head injury symptoms and stuff to watch out for- said 'try not to worry or be upset, babies are a lot more resilient than you think'

He's 18 now btw and absolutely fine.

Mylittlelemon · 11/09/2020 11:22

I'm quite shocked at all these tales of dropping babies, like it's normal!

S111n20 · 11/09/2020 11:23

Had my daughter this March. When I’d finished feeding the midwife asked me if I wanted her to pop her back in the cot. I’d also had c section. She said the amount of women over the years she had seen accidentally drop babies....you are not alone.

jojobar · 11/09/2020 11:23

@FindingNeverland1

As a baby, my mum accidentally shut the car boot on my head as she was carrying me and holding the change bag. Complete accident but blood everywhere, hospital trip, stitches. I don't remember, wasn't harmed in a lasting way and don't blame her in the slightest!! These things happen.

I have dropped both my baby DC off the bed accidentally. They were fine.

You've reminded me I also shut DC1's finger in the boot of the car when he was about 5, thankfully it didn't quite close so the finger just got bruised rather than cut.

Forgot about that one

ArabellaScott · 11/09/2020 11:23

OP, I'm really sorry. I'm wondering if you've got a bit of PTSD from the birth - still getting 'stuck' on a detail and it still causing upset long afterwards can be a sign of this. Rationally, you know that your baby is fine, no harm was done, and that many if not most babies get dropped or roll off things when small. I wonder if it might be helpful to talk to a counsellor or therapist about the birth?

sqirrelfriends · 11/09/2020 11:25

The fact you feel bad proves that you're actually a very caring mum and not shit at all.

All mums have guilt about stuff they've done, none of us are prefect and tbh you shouldn't have been left alone holding a baby when you were on morphine.

ravenmum · 11/09/2020 11:27

@Mylittlelemon

I'm quite shocked at all these tales of dropping babies, like it's normal!

Maybe it is normal?

I think I managed to avoid it until the kids were toddlers, but it was evidently sheer good luck!

Kaktus · 11/09/2020 11:27

I dropped mine within 5 seconds of him coming out! He was born, handed to me and he was so slippy I dropped him. I was up on my knees so he fell quite a way (luckily on to the bed rather than the floor).

OlympicProcrastinator · 11/09/2020 11:27

I wanted to take a picture of my gorgeous gurgling baby smiling up at me.

Instead I dropped a heavy I phone straight onto her face. I’m not sure who cried more tbh.

Needless to say, I do not have any pictures of her taken from above.

Kaktus · 11/09/2020 11:28

@Mylittlelemon

I'm quite shocked at all these tales of dropping babies, like it's normal!

Maybe all these tales of people dropping babies show that it is fairly normal.

Rae36 · 11/09/2020 11:29

I shut my son's fingers in the door when he was only 1, just starting to toddle around. I went to shut the door, it felt a bit stiff for some reason, so I banged it a bit harder, and his fingers were in it. He had to get 3 fingernails removed and one of his fingernails still doesn't grow properly 13 years later.

The thought of his wee face when he was crying and holding up his bleeding hand still gets me. But in proportion, you know? I feel bad about it, I remember how shit I felt about it at the time, but it doesn't overshadow everything else about it if that makes sense. And we can laugh about it now, he still loves me.

Sending a hug op, it's horrible thinking about your baby being hurt.

Coffeecak3 · 11/09/2020 11:31

I have a friend who's db scalded his new born.
He offered to do the night feed and accidentally knocked the jug of hot water over, scalding the baby's arm.

The baby was permanently scarred which upset his df so much, he felt so guilty.
As a child the boy was very matter of fact about his scar.
My dd's partner was dropped by his df as a baby.

VinylDetective · 11/09/2020 11:34

My son fell out of his high chair and had a bump the size of an egg on his forehead when he was eight months old. He’s 45 now and none the worse for it! Forgive yourself and enjoy your happy, healthy toddler.

BigBlondeBimbo · 11/09/2020 11:34

@unimaginativeusernamehere

Oh you poor love. One day hopefully it will be a story you can laugh at together.

I second the person who say the staff were at fault here (or at least the understaffing of maternity wards).

I also agree with this. You shouldn't have been left like that

. This is the fault of the staffing problems across the land, in postnatal wards.

My friend had her first dc recently and was all outraged at the lack of care, and her DH not being allowed to sleep over, leaving her to cope alone, which she thought was due to covid. I said that, although covid may have made things even harder, I had both of mine long before covid and the care was terrible then for me too. DH wasn't allowed to stay with dc1, which was fair enough. That was their policy. He could have stayed with dc2, except that he had to look after dc1, so yes, I did have to cope alone.

We had emergencies with both dcs shortly after they were born and I did feel wretched about it for some time. I think it is more common than you think though. It wasn't your fault and you are not a shit mum at all!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/09/2020 11:34

My ds had an accident when he was 18 months. He spilt tea all down his front. We had to be air lifted to the children's hospital. Cant describe to you how awful it was watching him being in that pain. Seeing his skin melt of his body, and having to pin him down while they ripped dressings off his fresh wounds, because the stuff they used in the ambulance, fused to the skin, and they did that while he was awake. I still can't forgive myself and still cry everytime I think about it. That was 5 years ago. It does get better OP, but it wasn't your fault, and you need to always remember that.

BigBlondeBimbo · 11/09/2020 11:35

@Mylittlelemon

I'm quite shocked at all these tales of dropping babies, like it's normal!

oh seriously, go away. You sound rancid 😷.

Tarantallegra · 11/09/2020 11:35

I'm quite shocked at all these tales of dropping babies, like it's normal!

Or perhaps on a thread where the OP has been feeling guilty and upset over something for 2 years it's basic human decency to try to normalise the situation (which actually is pretty normal anyway).

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